What is chassidish life like?

↑ chocolate moose ↓

Wed, Jun 20 2007, 11:30 am

I'm Lub and I have heard diff things, so correct me if I'm w rong.......some wear it just to bentch lict, others the whole evening, even if they go out.

it has to do with yiras shomayim......specialy for those who wqear a bib type apron.

I've also heard the minhag comes apparenly from the olden days when the ladies only had one dress; they'd put an apron over whatever theyhad, to make it lekovod shabbos.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Jun 20 2007, 11:37 am

amother wrote:

Shif wrote:

Can someone address the white apron question earlier? What is the purpose of wearing it??

I heard its a segulah for good children that all your children should be frum... since I heard that I really try to remember to put it on... I take mine off after lecht bentchen

Is this really true that the apron is a segula and not worn as a beautiful and special piece of Shabbos clothing. I can imgaine that when Yidden were living in the shtelelach and were so very poor it might ahve been hard to always have a really special and beautiful Shabbos dress and that a special and beautiful Shabbos apron would be more available to everyone. Then again, probably anyone who happily and steadfastly clings to the torah and their minhagim are imparting such a beautiful thing to their children that it would be a "segula" for good children.

Helani ↓

Wed, Jun 20 2007, 6:25 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

With the subways, you can't get to far; just into manhattan or queens etc. With a car, there are no limits!
But I'm not sure that is the reason behind the issur to drive.

I think this might be the reason, because as far as I know in Kiriyas Yoel (and other communities perhaps?) unmarried boys also do not drive.

↑ Mama Bear ↓

Wed, Jun 20 2007, 9:57 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

Boys learn to drive when they need to, like for shidduchim.

in the non-chasidishe velt maybe. in the chasidishe velt, boys dont take girls 'out' for shidduchim so they dont have to drive. as a matter of fact, a bochur that drives prior to engagement is considered slightly "bummy". Very 'aidel' bochurim dont learn to drive in their engagement, and for that matter, during shana rishona either.... Now, not as a matter of refinement or anything else, but many chasidishe men dont drive at all! My father, my father in law, and my sister's husband all don't drive!!! My husband and brother are the only members of my immediate family (plus some of dh's bils) that do drive - and only my brother owns a car! we dont even own a car....

↑ Mama Bear ↓

Wed, Jun 20 2007, 10:00 pm

amother wrote:

I didnt read through the entire thread - but I have one question- I heard that chassidish couples do not learn hilchos niddah before marriage- that the mesader kedushin slips a peice of paper to the chosson right before the chuppah with directions for the first night and directions to call him in the morning so he can teach both of them the halachos right then.

To me this seems ridiculous. Please tell me it's not true. shock

LOL

. Chasanim and kallahs have lessons before the chasanah. The chosson's lesson, however, is VERY CLOSE to the wedding (like 2 days before). there used to be in the olden days, some chasanim who got their lesson after the mitzvah tantz, but that is no longer done. (a relative of mine curses her shver to this day, because he did this to her totally innocent chosson! I'm talking forty years ago here.)

happyone

Wed, Jun 20 2007, 10:12 pm

[quote="Mama Bear"][quote="amother"]I didnt read through the entire thread - but I have one question- I heard that chassidish couples do not learn hilchos niddah before marriage- that the mesader kedushin slips a peice of paper to the chosson right before the chuppah with directions for the first night and directions to call him in the morning so he can teach both of them the halachos right then.

To me this seems ridiculous. Please tell me it's not true. shock

[/quote] LOL Smile

Chassish people DO learn halacha and very well before they get married. You got whackos that don't educate their children and teach halacha in this world -- yes, I'm sure it's happened a time or two. But what in the world has that to do with chassidim????

↑ creativemommyto3 ↓

Wed, Jun 20 2007, 10:33 pm

Actually, I heard the chassanim don't learn it until the day before. I can hear how that makes sense. Although, I wonder how much time they spend on it. I would think that it takes some time to learn the halachas. Maybe, the guy learns what he needs to know for the first nite and a bit more. Then learns the rest after getting married. I think that it helps the marriage in a way that these chassanim don't really know anything. It means that they don't have the non jewish ideas about husband and wife intimacy. The fact that they don't look at women before is great too b/c then they don't have any images to compare their beautiful wife too, except maybe his mother and sisters etc.

Although, I do wonder one thing about that area, just not sure I should ask on a public forum.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Jun 20 2007, 10:35 pm

Quote:

Mindy please please speak for yourself. Many bochurim who are very fine and eidel drive in their Shona Rishona. I don't appreciate your commenting like that on very fine boys. My DH who's married for over 5 years had license in his Shana Rishona and he happens to be a Kollel Yungerman and a very Aidele one.
Prior to engagement is not so accepted, that I agree with you. But after engagement or rather after the Chasuna many fine, exceptional Yungerleit will make license.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Jun 20 2007, 10:39 pm

Arita, most learn from 2-6 weeks before. To learn a day before is rare (I have not heard of it.)
We are encouraged to learn it together after the Chasuna. It's to build our knowledge of the foundation of a Jewish home together and also help us bond with something that involves us both equally and something that is of utmost importance for both of us.

↑ Seraph ↓

Thu, Jun 21 2007, 12:54 am

ILOVELIFE wrote:

I have a little bit of a different view on chassidus being that we are Stolin. Stolin is very different than the Hungerian Chassiduses in many ways:

1. We DO talk about a lot of the reasons behind minhagim. That doesn't mean we go into the nitty - gritty -- a lot is given but we do talk about a lot of the others.

[...]
12. Stolin women are generally on great terms with each other. N'shei is close. If I'd see a Stolin'er woman on the street, I'd probobly stop to say hello. And it's not just me.

That's it for me in a nutshell!

Can I add something about stolin, even though I'm not Stolin? (Or two...)

Stolin puts a big emphasis on shouting davening- davening louder is supposed to give you better kavana, so davening in stoliner shteibel... makes you happy you're not in the men's section.

Stolin also puts a big emphasis on not talking during davening- stolin is one of the few shuls I've been to in my life where not a peep was made during davening, not even "Good shabbos" whispered when people come in.

(I happen to LOVE stolin and almost became a stoliner...)

↑ Seraph ↓

Thu, Jun 21 2007, 12:58 am

arita430 wrote:

Mama Bear wrote:

amother wrote:

I am BT following Litvashe minchogim( myself and dh), but I have Chassidishe roots (both Lubavith and non Lubavich). I was always drawn to the minchog of wearng white apron on Friday night. I find it very beautiful and I know for sure that my great grandmother obm, did wear it as well as white tichel. I was thinking for a long time to start. Anyway here are my questions; Do people wear white apron only together with white tichel? (I would not wear the tichel, but would probably put a white band on my sheitel) At which point of the evening do you take it off? What if you go away for Shabbos? How much does it cost ? If dh would not mind , may be I'll get it on my next trip to B.P. Smile

IF youre staying home, you can wear the apron until you go to sleep, but it's quite okay to take it off anytime in the evening. If youre going away for sahbbos at a place you'll feel strange wearing the apron, you can perfectly well take it off right after candlelighting.

What is the purpose of the white apron? can it be an embroidered one?

Maybe this was answered already, (didn't finish reading the thread yet), but white is considered to be shabbosdik because its pure and holy, which is why chassidim and sfardim wear lots of white on shabbos. (Hence the white tichel, white apron, and white socks for chassidish men.)

An apron davka because when a woman is licht bentchin, its her special mitzva, her special zman, and therefore, they wear an apron which is ke'ilu her gartel. A man wears a gartel during davening to seperate his upper and lower halves. A chassidish woman may wear an apron during licht bentching to seperate her upper and lower half.