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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Cleaning & Laundry
mom3boys
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 4:05 am
Help, I am a mother of 3 wonderful boys (k'h), and adult who has been running her household without help for the last 6 years. I can do whatever has to be done, help others, deal with bills and in-laws, but can not be assertive with cleaning help. And this is exactly the reason I don't have a cleaning lady. Not only do I feel uncomfortable telling someone to clean my house, I also feel the need to have a clean house when the cleaning lady arrives, Is this normal? I don't think so. Pesach is on the way, and I do need help. Any tips on approaching this in a business type manner.
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Chanie
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 8:32 am
oh my.... that is my feeling exactly.. I get it from my mother. I remember when I was little my mother used to have a cleaning lady but I saw my mother more often drinking tea with her then her cleaning.
My mother would always rush to straighten up before she came... and this was with 6 kids at home.
If anyone has tips I'd love to hear them as well.
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gryp
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 8:38 am
ill third that gladly!
why another human being should scrub my house and my own dirt, I just cant understand. even if theyre willing to do it for pay, I feel like I should be right next to her scrubbing too....
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Rochel Leah
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 8:40 am
Come live in South africa where you hve full time help and are very used to having soemone do things for you!!
this is totally not an issue..but I always felt funny having a maid do certain things for me and so too with a cleaning lady..I feel better when I work together with her so I am not totally "using" her.
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deedee
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 9:14 am
its amazing that we all feel the same way! I guess our parents taught us well-to clean up after ourselves
Quote: | Any tips on approaching this in a business type manner. |
my husband has no prob telling the cleaning lady what to do, so I make him deal with her.
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Tefila
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 9:39 am
I'm exactly the same and I too don't have a cleaning lady except on rare occasions like once every 2-3 weeks mainly to pacify my husband that I have some help b/c he hates to see me do it all myself. But I clean b/4 and clean after lady leaves. I'd rather the money that would be used for a cleaning lady be used for other things needed in the house or take kids on trips etc. I don't mind cleaning not that I love it eighter b'h I also have kids that help me. So we do it together.
Sorry not much help I know
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hindyandrafi
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 10:20 am
[/quote]my husband has no prob telling the cleaning lady what to do, so I make him deal with her.[/quote]
Deedee... guess our hubbies have ALOT in common...
my husband says he doesnt understand why I feel bad telling them what to do!!!!
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Pickle Lady
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 2:14 pm
Ok I am rolling her in laughter. cause today I had such a hard time with my cleaning lady. I don't know how to tell her what to do. My husband (south african) always tell me that I have to show her who boss. I am trying to work on showing her whos boss.
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IndyMom
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 3:26 pm
I have a very good process with my cleaning help. I have a saved list on my computer of every little thing that needs to be done in my house with check boxes next to it. I print it out weekly and just highlight the things I want them to do that week. I can also see by what they dont check off what still needs to be done. I like the cleaning lady to clean the bathrooms, change the sheets, sweep and mop the kitchen floor, and vacuum alll the carpets. These are jobs I designate to the weekly cleaning lady adn I don't do them. I don't even consider them as part of my chores for the day. we don't have the cleaning lady do laundry becuase we are more particular about that kind of thing, but she is supposed to fold laundry if she still has time after the other jobs. It is important to designate tasks thaty ou know they are capable of without having to ask you to many quesitons so you don't feel like you shuold just be doing it yourself.
If you are getting a clenaing lady for pesach I recommend making a list and detailing exactly the jobs you want the cleaning lady to do, that you think she is capable of, that you can then relax adn not have to worry about. Do you really need to scrub bathrooms with your cleaning lady when you can be washing dishes or doing laundry or spending time with your children? I never feel guiltyif I am even reading a chapter of a book when the cleaning lady is here. If I don't treat myself to down time then my whole family suffers. I do pay the cleaning lady (and I think $12/hour without a college degree is a nice wage) so she should be making my life better, not worse.
I was very shy with my first cleaning lady and I was afraid to tell her what to do, but luckily she was the type who just knew what needed to be done. after a while though, I didn't like the way she was doign things adn the way she thought she was the MRS of the house, so I had to let her go and hire someone who I could be more on top of from the beginning. I think having a worker in your house is a learning experience. You just need to see what works for you andwhat doesnt and learn from mistakes. I really like making lists, and I periodically look at the list to see what tasks they have completed. It keeps them on their toes.
I sound so mean....
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chanab
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 4:59 pm
Indymom, is there any way you could post your list from the computer?
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IndyMom
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 5:07 pm
I'd be happy to if anyone can tell me how. Otherwise send me a PM with your email and I'll email it to you.
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mom3boys
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 6:58 pm
Wow, IndyMom, I am really impressed, this is exactly the kind of advice I was looking for.
I've got another question, what is etiquette when it comes to offering food or drink, or anything else along those lines. As well as, how do you hand your list to the cleaning lady? ( I know I sound like a big baby )
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IndyMom
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 7:23 pm
I always tell my cleaning ladies that they are welcome to eat. I like to offer them coffee before they start becuase I feel like it gives them more energy to get things done quicker. I also leave fruit out and they know where the plastic cups are to take water. If I am making food for myself and they happen to be in the kitchen I will sometimes offer to make them something too. I do not have an official lunch break or anything, but I do think that if they are hungry they don't work as efficiently. I had a cleaning lady last year (whom we loved, but she moved to texas ) who had three small children that seh would bring to her sister before she came over to my house. She was always so rushed in the morning that she never had time to eat breakfast. I always had her eat something as soon as she came in. I'm sure she thought that was really nice of me, but I really only did it becuase I didn't want her to work on an empty stomach. Anyway - if there is a proper etiquette to it, I don't know it, I just like when they are energized and not hungry.
As far as handing them the list, as soon as they take off their coats and shoes I give them the instructions for the day. I show them the list, go through each highlighted item to clarify anything that needs clarification. I also forgot to mention that I prioritze everything so that they do things in the order of most important to me in case they run out of time and can't finish it all. After this, I offer them coffee and a fruit or a toasted bagel and then they start their work. I do my own thing while they are working, but I do check in on them. It is important to check in on them from the beginning so that they know that they can't slack off. You are like their "mashgiach", if they know you might turn up at any moment they will be more likely to try to get things done at a reasonable pace. If they know you wont be on top of it, they might take 45 minutes to just clean a toilet. Also, when you do check up on them, always praise their work. They will know that you are watching, but that keeps them from being resentful.
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chochma73
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 7:31 pm
indy you really have some great tips but my cleaning lady can not read english so lists don't help, but I have a list (a mental one) and I tell her in the morning what is most important.
When it comes to pesach cleaning no one cleans how you want it to be clean so I work with my c-lady. Some things I can leave for her but I stay and do other things in the same room so I can watch she does it properly.
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mom3boys
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 7:34 pm
From the sound of it, I have to set a time deadline. Meaning that objective is to do the work in the time we agree on, as opposed to completing the work in however long it takes. Should I have any sort of a contract with the cleaning lady, other than a verbal understanding?
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IndyMom
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Wed, Mar 30 2005, 7:54 pm
Chochma, I had cleaning ladies that only spoke spanish. I actually had a schoolmate of mine taking spanish III translate some words into spanish. The list doesn't give specific directions onhow to clean, it just says what to clean, I split it by room, so for my bathroom it says:
clean toilet,
clean sink counter area
clean bathtub
clean shower
clean mirrors
sweep and mop floors
remove dirty towels and replace with new ones
If their was a toothbrush laying on the counter, I woudl expect that they would put it in the toothbrush holder so they could clean the counter. Anyway, I did have my list translated somewhat into spanish - at least words like "dust the banister" since she didn't know what a banister was.
mom3boys, I don't think you need to make a contract with the cleaning lady. As long as she senses taht if you aren't happy you won't use her again you shuold be ok. I really think the best way to get the most out of them is to be extra kind, but still ever present.
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juggler
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Thu, Mar 31 2005, 1:23 am
Wow Indymom, you are really nice to your cleaning ladies. Serving them a whole meal etc... Is that on the time you are paying for? How do you make sure that they don't waste a half hour eating. I have cleaning ladies and am very mentchlich to them, but unless they are by me for 6 hours straight, I do not offer anything more than self serve on water and fruit.
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IndyMom
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Thu, Mar 31 2005, 4:15 am
chana, almost every morning they turn down the food, but I feel like when they don't turn them downthen it is worth the 10 minutes of them eating to make them work harder and faster.
We also don't have a kitchen table, so we usually eat quick things standing u[ in my kitchen. They don't get to comfy. They just eat quickly and then work.
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mom3boys
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Thu, Mar 31 2005, 5:31 am
IndyMom, thanks for all your advice. It is very helpful. Today I have a cleaning lady come over. She is the third one I am trying. First was last year Pesach, didn't really work out, cause I had to redo some things after she'd leave. Well, that defeats the point, right? The second attempt at hiring help was this past summer, when a good friend and I ran a summer camp for 17 boys in my house. Of course I needed help then. All was well for about 3 weeks, however, on the 3rd Friday she just didn't show up! Can you believe it. No call, no heads up and no explanation! I was really upset!!! I was stuck with a house upside down (the camp boys were picked up at 2:30), tired, and still shabbos fast approaching.
Since then I haven't relied on anyone else to clean my house, that way I don't get burned
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motheroftwo
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Thu, Mar 31 2005, 10:59 am
my mother always says: A cleaning lady is as good as you are.
So the first time I have someone I basically stand on top of her and show her exactly how I want things done. If she sees that I'm particular about things then she will do it. In another house she probably wont do it. It all depends on the woman of the house. Once she gets used to things I let her do her own thing. I still feel free however to mention something to her if I see something that needs to be cleaned. I just say it very nicely and always please and thank you etc.
Pesach cleanign I always do together with her. Because I'm sorting out stuff while she cleans. THis way I also make sure she's doing things properly.
I always give her something for lunch. (she eats breakfast at home)
It's either a sandwich or if I get pizza for the kids I will get for her too.
SOmetimes I'll even give her from my shabbos food. (she comes fridays)
I think the imp. thing is to be nice to them and treat them like human beings.
I don't think they resent me telling them what to do aslong as I treat them nicely.
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