Is it an Averia? | Imamother

willow ↓

Sun, Mar 18 2012, 9:50 am

I really have a hard time with the concept of Minhagim. I don't get it. Is it Halacha or something nice to do?
Two specific areas are Kitnios on Pesach and Uphsharin. I don't get it. If I eat rice whats wrong with it. To add to that we know its fine today so why just sefardim?

celestial ↓

Sun, Mar 18 2012, 12:09 pm

I have a problem with this too. Why isn't halacha enough for people to force themselves to do??? I understand if someone wants to do minhagim, find them beautiful etc. But to say they are binding seem to be adding to the torah, in my opinion.

Anyway, there's a huge different between a minhag yisrael (things like how men lay tefillin) and family minhagim.

miami85

Sun, Mar 18 2012, 12:45 pm

There are different kinds of minhag. Some are more of a chiyuv than others
Two examples are davening maariv vs. Eating cheesecake on shavuos. A lot is based on mesorah and who the chachomim were when the minhag was established. Some occurred after the ashkenazim and sefardim separated which is ehy they have diff minhagim. We dont pick and choose certain minhagim at random we follow a tradition and stick to that. So
e minhsgim such as waiting 3 hrs b/t meat snd milk are not something you can choose without having that mesorah. If you arent sure ask your rav

↑ Ruchel ↓

Sun, Mar 18 2012, 1:21 pm

More on minhagim:
My rabbi holds you cannot adopt another minhag, not more lenient and not stricter, as it would be an insult to the ancestors. But if you have a problem with a minhag you should ask a shaila.
I read from another rabbi saying you can only adopt a stricter minhag if in your head you want to do stricter, not because you think your minhag is lacking.

In many families after the way, halacha was somehow gone but people were still attached to minhagim, and that's how many found their way back. It is also how Marranos even knew they was something different about them!

freidasima

Sun, Mar 18 2012, 1:21 pm

Kitniyos is a gezera however...today when there is no chance of something happening (mixing up ground kitniyos with wheat flour etc.) because of industrialization, because of various other things, and with so much interplay and intermarriage between eidot, particularly in EY if kitniyos should still be held at all. Certainly in terms of various humras which have been added on with no basis such as various non-grains which were later added (quinoa, actually corn as well, being that it came from the "new world")

Upsheren is a custom of certain groups which has only extremely recently become popular in others. It has no halochic standing whatsoever.

↑ celestial ↓

Sun, Mar 18 2012, 1:23 pm

Ruchel wrote:

What about for a BT? My family retained pretty much 0 minhagim. In fact, my mom said shema with us but just told us to shut our eyes tight, I never heard of covering with the right hand till I became frum....does that mean I have no minhagim?

↑ Ruchel ↓

Sun, Mar 18 2012, 1:25 pm

celestial wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

You come from somewhere so of course you have!
I used to teach Bts with my rav's guidance, and he told me it was extremely important for me to tell them to research their own minhagim and not take on mine or their rav's or whatever.
BH these days with internet, you can see where your surname (as minhagim come from father) is from, at least some idea of a country...

↑ celestial ↓

Sun, Mar 18 2012, 1:25 pm

Ruchel wrote:

celestial wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

My father's father is from Vienna...

↑ Ruchel ↓

Sun, Mar 18 2012, 1:28 pm

I have also dealt with the case of FTBs whose parents had adopted lighter minhagim, as well as heard of people whose parents switched minhagim for various reasons, and "my" rabbanim always encouraged going back to the original thing, or going closer to it. For example someone originally from uranus whose parents became shtark Plutoers would be told to practice like they do on Uranus Wink

We could argue gerim have no minhagim and can choose. Some hold they should choose the minhag of the kehila they attend, but with the mixed kehilot nowadays... I have asked the shaila for a ger of Jewish origin and was told he should do like his Jewish ancestors.

↑ Ruchel ↓

Sun, Mar 18 2012, 1:30 pm

celestial wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

celestial wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

My father's father is from Vienna...

So that's pretty precise! Maybe you have cousins there even, from the same surname. Or people who would know if they were chassidish or mitnagdim or Yekkes etc.

Btw a wife generally goes by her husband's minhag after wedding (same say except for toiveling and/or hair covering).

↑ celestial ↓

Sun, Mar 18 2012, 1:33 pm

Nope. They all left after the war and now are completely assimilated either in Israel or America. I am the only frum person on both sides of my family, and as far as I know, no minhagim have been retained. My grandfather a"h used to tell me his mother was a very religious woman and she would have been proud of me, but nobody remembers what she did or how, only that they were starving and had to flee the war as young children. Do you have any idea of any customs for Jews in Vienna? I'd definitely be curious to hear!

↑ celestial ↓

Sun, Mar 18 2012, 1:37 pm

ewa-jo wrote:

celestial wrote:

Do you have any idea of any customs for Jews in Vienna? I'd definitely be curious to hear!

I had family that lived in Vienna... we are Polish, from Galicia.

I think it's possible that may have been the origins of my family, as well. But we have no way to know for sure, it's pure speculation.