Serving guests the foods that "they are used to"

chocolate moose ↓

Sun, Oct 08 2006, 9:28 pm

We recently discussed not necessarily serving a spicy fish to guests who can eat that at home each week.

I made regular Amercian foods that we like - including orzo with cranberries and peppers, tsimmes, sweet and sour brisket, and a dressed salad with mandarin oranges, nuts and celery.

One night of yomtov I was asked to host two Israel teens whose parents we are friendly with. They've come before and have always been happy with the food...until today.

In the years before, I knew they were coming and had made plainer rice, chicken, and salad, whereas today we had more gourmet fare.

I guess the question is - how to serve food your guests will like, but not patronize them?

shopaholic ↓

Sun, Oct 08 2006, 9:47 pm

I make food that DH & I & the kids like. If the guests don't like it, I'm sorry. We are not big fans of very spicy foods, we like tasty, salty & delicous foods, but not Israeli, Morroccan etc so I don't make those. After all, I'm the one standing over the hot stove & we have to eat the leftovers. I've never yet had guests who didn't thank me & comliment me on my food saying they were stuffed.

mbk

Sun, Oct 08 2006, 10:49 pm

Hi... I was the one with the sephardic guests and I did make a yummy fish that was spicy and delicious. When my orchim smelled and saw what a made, they were very impressed that I changed my menu to cater to their pallette. I was very happy with my choice, bec the 3 other meals were real heimish for me and the one today was extraordinarily appreciated...

chavamom ↓

Sun, Oct 08 2006, 11:16 pm

Today we had a guest who is a vegan. So while my other guests got meatballs, I made a stuffed pepper with soy meat, rice and corn that was cooked in the same sauce I made for the meat (obviously not cooked together). That to me is accommodation. I would not have made an entire vegan meal (unless I thought the family and guests would have been into it!) but have no problem being accommodating. So while I wouldn't make an entire meal revolve around the tastes/likes/dislikes of my guests, I want to make sure they have something to eat!

Last edited by chavamom on Mon, Oct 09 2006, 1:15 am; edited 1 time in total

BinahYeteirah

Mon, Oct 09 2006, 1:06 am

I'm veggie, so I can tell I'd love to eat at your house, Chava! Did you make/buy vegan challah or bread?

It's hard for me, personally, because I will not cook meat. My husband makes meat/fish for our meals, but sometimes I feel I'd like to serve guests something fancier than what my husband can cook.

↑ chavamom

Mon, Oct 09 2006, 1:19 am

Actually, the guest had sent word that he was not such a 'makpid' vegan that we shouldn't worry about eggs in the challah. We had our regular whole-wheat challah. We also had butternut/apple soup, sesame noodles, garlic beans and a number of salads, so the only thing the vegan guest was missing out on was the meatballs and brisket - but he got stuffed pepper instead!

Oh - I forgot that in addition to the cake I made, I bought apple-cinnamon Rice dream 'ice cream' (no eggs).

Marion

Mon, Oct 09 2006, 2:12 am

I think it depends. We're discussing taste preferences here, not allergies or other dietary restrictions (vegetarianism), right?

Every so often I like to try new stuff, and DH will go along with it, as long as it's not too spicy. I refuse to make cholent, so if he wants it he has to do it (and he hasn't yet, in 2 years of marriage). I think of it as expanding my own horizons, not necessarily "catering" to someone else.

JRKmommy

Tue, Oct 10 2006, 12:12 pm

Dh and I LOVE spicy foods, like Indian or Thai. However, we know that not everyone shares our love of curry (and the smell does take over the house), so we'll make it for our siblings, but not for our parents or anyone that we're unsure of. If I don't know someone's preferences, I'll make honey garlic, mild BBQ or balsamic chicken.

My kids, OTOH, like very plain foods (except my youngest 2 will eat straight pickles!), so they get shake'n'bake, plain rice, plain cucumbers and tomatoes, matzo ball soup.

I usually serve assorted dips (guacamole, hummus, babaganosh, spanish eggplant) - this pleases dh's Israeli family, but it's also totally optional for anyone who doesn't want.

melalyse

Tue, Oct 10 2006, 7:20 pm

When I go to someone for a meal I look forward to haven't something different than I always make. It would be a little boring if someone would make the same meal that I made when they came to me. I ask guests if they are allergic to anything and are they vegetarian or don't eat red meat. I would assume that they would find something to eat if a cook a meal based on those guidlines.

imashosh

Tue, Oct 10 2006, 7:34 pm

I feel that when you have guests over you should always strive to have foods that they will like as well. I am not saying to have very spicy things if you will not eat them but do a little research find out what type of foods they enjoy and see which recipies are enticing for you and your family as well in order for everyone to enjoy. Also many sepharadic recipies can be made mild or not spicy at all, don't assume that becasue it is a sephardic recipie it has to be spicy, it can just be the regular combination of spices which they enjoy and not the hot peppers.

klotzkashe

Tue, Oct 10 2006, 9:27 pm

if they CAN eat it then make it.

if they don't particularly like it - maybe don't make it

But if they have hte same at home - WHY SHOULD YOU HAVE TO CHANGE IT?!

I always cater to allergies, vegan/vegetarian etc.

but I will not go running around making different foods so that my geusts dont' have repititious meals

hey im not superwoman!

imaamy

Tue, Oct 10 2006, 11:54 pm

A lot of times when we go somewhere, there is really nothing we care to eat. I never make a big deal of it. Sometimes people don't even have water on the table. Yet I always feel I should make things guests like or avoid things they don't. I think that means I'm codependant???

chen

Wed, Oct 11 2006, 10:11 am

imaamy wrote:

Sometimes people don't even have water on the table. Yet I always feel I should make things guests like or avoid things they don't. I think that means I'm codependant???

first of all, why don't you just ask for water? many people either don't like water or feel that serving water looks cheap and bring out the juices and sodas instead. I'm sure no one would begrudge you water if you asked for it.

There is a fine line between trying to make your guests feel at home and pandering to their mishegossn. Even under the law for people with disabilities, there is the concept of "reasonable accommodation". It is not reasonable, IMO, to completely redo your menu and serve your family foods they won't like just to please a picky guest.

Obviously you must accommodate people with allergies or metabolic disorders, but even that doesn't mean completely overhauling the menu. Depending on the severity of the disorder, you may be able to simply add a dish or two that your guest can have, or leave out something that your guest cannot be in the same room with. But if you have cantaloupe, corn soup, saffron omelettes, sweet potato pie, carrot tzimmes and mango souffle, and you have a guest who will not eat yellow/orange foods during months that have R's in their names, make a nice green salad for them and finished. If they don't like what you serve, they don't have to accept another dinner invitation. Invite them for a non-food occasion instead.