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-> Parenting our children
-> Twins, Triplets, and more
amother
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Wed, Nov 16 2011, 9:12 pm
Our twins are 2 years eight months old and we found out that B'H I'm pregnant and it is twins again.
I'm in shock and I'm not sure how we are going to manage.
Any advice?
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amother
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Wed, Nov 16 2011, 9:19 pm
Congrats!! Beshah tova!! I have no other words to say.... but this.
I have 2 yr old twins , donno wat I would do if I found out its again twins...
one thing is sure, u'll be much more expierenced by the next ones... wow, hashem should give you the strength -emotionally and physically!!!!
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amother
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Wed, Nov 16 2011, 9:40 pm
I have a friend with three sets of twins. I also know someone with two sets 18 months apart. they had a few children before they had twins.
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amother
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Wed, Nov 16 2011, 10:29 pm
just one set of twins and lots of trepidation that it may happen again ;-). That said, I do have a friend with two sets of twins, about 2.5 years apart, and she said all the way through that her second set was (relatively) super easy. She had just done it all, knew what to expect, what she needed to do to survive and flourish. I'm sure you'll do great! B'shaa tovah!
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Shalshelet
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Wed, Nov 16 2011, 10:44 pm
I know someone who has a set of triplets and then a set of twins. Her kids are all grown up now, so she has a wealth of info. PM me if you want me to help you get in touch with her.
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momyof2xtwins
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Wed, Nov 16 2011, 10:46 pm
I just had my second set of twins and the main thing isvget tons of help also it will be a lot easier in terms of dealing withbtwo but being your first set is still young you must get help hatzlacha and beshaa tova
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Bea21
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Wed, Nov 16 2011, 10:51 pm
I have an aunt who has two sets of twins. They are much farther apart than yours are (about 12 years apart), but she has k"ah 11 children total and a wealth of information. Her kids are much older now (the second set of twin are her youngest, and they are approaching bas mitzvah). I recently was with her for Sukkos and she was a huge help and had tons of advice for my "Irish twins". PM me if you want her info.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 17 2011, 10:23 am
B'shaah tovah! As an experienced MOT (mom of twins) you already know the tricks of the trade, you already have two of everything, and you're way more prepared than a newbie or a MOO (mother of one). Chances are, you already have a dh who does his share of parenting, at least I hope so.
Mine are 3 yrs apart, grown now B"H. The first year, with 4 under 4, was murder, but there were compounding circumstances that made it harder. After the first year it got somewhat easier and by the time we had 2 six y/o and 2 three y/o I don't think it was much diff from having kids aged 6,5,4, and 3: still hectic but manageable.
Your priority is to stay sane and healthy and keep your kids safe and healthy. That's it! Everything else is embroidery.
-Give up pride. This is life, not the Boston Marathon. It's about survival; nobody's keeping score and giving out medals at the end. So:
-Accept any and all offers of help
-Ask for help if not offered
-Strip e/t down to basics. If it's not essential, skip it. If it's fussy, skip it. If it requires special care, skip it. My kids lived in stretchies exclusively as long as I could find stretchies to fit them. To this day I can't relate to people who obsess about how to dress an infant for a wedding.
-Ask the pros, meaning your pediatrician, working moms with lots of kids, and the most down-to-earth people you know, what you really need and what you can do without in terms of everything. When the pediatrician told me that there was no reason to sterilize bottles and a daily bath was unnecessary so long as I kept face, hands and diaper area clean, I almost danced for joy!
-If dh does his share, great. If not, do something about it now.
-If a messy house doesn't bother you, great. If it does, get a cleaning lady. Even if it's only a few hours once in two weeks, just having a neat house for a little while will save your sanity.
-Compromise your principles if it means saving your health and sanity. Even if you're a Birkenstock-wearing, backpack-carrying, organic-gardening tree lover, allow yourself to use disposables and buy prepared foods when the occasion warrants. This advice is coming from a sensible-shoe-wearing, backpack-carrying, wishes-she-only-had-a garden-to-grow-organically tree lover, btw.
-Allow yourself time away from the babies, even if it makes you feel guilty. If your mother offers to have the kids sleep at her house overnight so you can get some rest or alone time with dh, pump a few bottles of milk and accept with pleasure!
-Be kind to yourself. Lower your expectations. From time to time, visit people who you know have messy houses and unmanageable kids, just so you can feel better about your circumstances. This is not a joke. We tend to think "everyone" is managing better than we are. The occasional reality check is important. Stay away from the Supermoms if they make you depressed.
-If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and crying in a corner, do not suspect mental breakdown. You're completely normal and will feel better after a good cry. Crying reduces the levels of stress hormones in the body.
-When things get really tough, remind yourself that this, too, shall pass.
oh, and I cut all my kids' hair short. MOTSOTs (mothers of two sets of twins) don't have the time to fuss with their kids' hair, even if they do have the dearest silky curls. They'll still have them in a couple of years when things ease up a bit.
Hatzalacha! You're in for a bumpy ride, but you'll have bragging rights for the rest of your life!
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amother
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Mon, Nov 21 2011, 12:16 pm
Thank you so much everyone!
I'm still nervous and not sure what to do (I think I'm also a little in denial) but the encouragement made me fell much better.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 22 2011, 10:06 pm
My identical twins are 2 1/2. I am just wondering what are your first set of twins identical or fraternal? I wonder if once I had one set of twins is it more likely to have another???
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life'sgreat
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Tue, Nov 22 2011, 11:45 pm
amother wrote: | My identical twins are 2 1/2. I am just wondering what are your first set of twins identical or fraternal? I wonder if once I had one set of twins is it more likely to have another??? |
IIRC, statistically, once you had twins, your chances of having another set are higher.
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zaq
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Wed, Nov 23 2011, 1:14 am
life'sgreat wrote: | amother wrote: | My identical twins are 2 1/2. I am just wondering what are your first set of twins identical or fraternal? I wonder if once I had one set of twins is it more likely to have another??? |
IIRC, statistically, once you had twins, your chances of having another set are higher. |
That is correct.
Incidence of twinning is artificially increased thanks to fertility drugs, but it also increases naturally with increasing maternal age and increasing number of previous children. That's fraternal twins. Identicals occur with pretty much the same frequency across the board, a weird "mistake" that just happens in a certain percentage of pregnancies independent of any other factors.
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mom2cutee
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Wed, Nov 23 2011, 6:23 am
I don't have twins, but my mom has 2 sets of twins.
I'm a twin, and I have older sisters that are twins. All identical.
I don't have any advice, just wanted to say that it was sooo much fun growing up with a twin and another set of twins in the house! It still is fun! We are best of friends!
Good luck, and bsaah tova!
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tikva18
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Sun, Nov 27 2011, 12:36 am
Only one set here, but if I were to have a second set, let me tell you I'd get help. Whatever offers people make, take them up on it. If you can afford cleaning help and/or babysitting help for your older ones, do it. And for as long as possible. Ask people if they can double the time that they do meals after a birth. Getting meals a couple of months in after new babies is really nice.
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amother
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Mon, Dec 19 2011, 8:30 pm
my twins are a few months old, and I just found out I am again expecting!!!! whew, and I am thinking maybe it's twins again..... um...... I love twins, and I would love another set... but the pregnancy part........ um, ok, if its meant to be, I'll do it anyways!!!!!
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amother
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Wed, Apr 18 2012, 10:55 am
I just found out I am pregnant with twins maybe triplets. Im freaking out. My youngest before this are twins that are going to be three when the babies are born
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Sherri
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Wed, Apr 18 2012, 11:05 am
amother wrote: | I just found out I am pregnant with twins maybe triplets. Im freaking out. My youngest before this are twins that are going to be three when the babies are born | Bsha'a tova and hatzlacha! I hope you make use of the most resources you can!!
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trying1
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Mon, Dec 16 2013, 5:26 am
new amother - why are you bumping up such an old post. I have 2 sets of twins - can I help?
2nd set much easier than first even though they were a lot smaller and a bit earlier than first set.
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SJcookie
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Mon, Dec 16 2013, 5:35 am
Wow, so exciting! B'shaah tova OP! May it be a healthy, easy, safe, and uneventful pregnancy.
My Father's aunt has 6 kids, & 4 of them are two sets of fraternal twins. She gave birth to them in Iran in the the 1950s, when conditions were a lot riskier. Her kids (who are now in their 50s/60s) are all extremely close, and she is a happy, healthy old lady
ETA: just realized that this is an old thread
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