Mama Bear, if you started out hungry and then met your sister for lunch, and your whole excursion was 5 and a half hours, why did you arrive home famished? You had lunch! Just asking out of concern. As in, are you eating nutritiously and have you been to a doctor about your health?
Definitely keep water and fruit in your handbag, and maybe stop somewhere every 2 hours to pick up a flavored milk or juice and some nuts.
Also for people running around who don't have sugar issues dried fruit takes up little space, doesn't get mushy and if you get the kind that is organic without added sulfites and sugar, it lasts forever in your bag. Dried apricots with water give you a great pick up. The nuts are an added bonus if you can take the fats, very very healthy. One of the few things I miss as I cant eat fat anymore. Great idea Isramom!
- As a general rule, people only want advice if they specifically ask for it. Even if they say, "how are other people able to deal with their kids at home all day," in the middle of a thread, they probably don't really want to hear tips. Only if they start a new thread saying "please help me think of ways to.... " or something of the sort, do they want advice.
So if you see a post you might have all kinds of ideas on how that person could have more energy/ get more done/ keep things cleaner/whatever, but don't expect them to be pleased if you share your thoughts. (And keep in mind that since they weren't really asking, there are probably all kinds of complicating factors they didn't mention.)
- When rejecting advice, it's less inflammatory to stick to "that won't work for me," rather than, "that wouldn't work for you either in my position." Like, "my children aren't interested by parks, so we'd need a different activity," rather than, "well if you had five kids instead of four you'd know why that wouldn't work."
Of course, nobody asked to hear this so I'm ignoring my own advice by posting...
I never had a shabbes sheitel. What, a sheitel for one day? I need to be pretty every day
I never said whether I own a sheitel, or even a shabbos sheitel. But let me ask you, does your dh own a shabbos hat? For one day only? He doesn't need to look good everyday????
Thank you imaonwheels. It seems like we agree, or am I too confused to understand?!? lol
I'm just wondering why no one is disagreeing with your post. Maybe because you are just the right poster. Brooklyn born, raised and married then divorced, currently living in Israel, chabbad--so not really chasseeeeeedish, and a good tongue.....
Because she managed to both agree and disagree with everyone. So those who are arguing in favor of camp as a necessity can say, "see, imaonwheels agrees it's necessary," while those who are arguing against can say, "see, imaonwheels says the community doesn't owe anyone a babysitter," and everyone is happy.
lol.....
But if anyone cared enough to notice, I had explained chassidishe camps some eons of pages ago. In that post, I had explained how for city boys, camp is not an option, since it's a continuation of the yearlong learning program. I had also mentioned int hat post, that for girls it is totally optional. And I also explained there, that accepting tzedaka for the boys to go would fly with me, and with the girls, it would depend on the situation of the girl if tzedaka is ethical.
But some posters conveniently "flew over" that post, since why admit that there is finally a poster explaining the chassidishe mindset behind camps? Instead, it was suggested chassidishe rebbes "wake up" and change the system introduced by their post war predecessors. And now when ima explained the same exact thing, tha tthe Lubavitcher rebbe wanted all his boys out of the city and into a camp to continue learning, suddenly, everyone is "getting it". Hmmmm.
Here's the post I'm referring to:
kitov wrote:
ok,a mixup once again....
There's camp, and there's day camp! (Can't you start seeing what it means talking yourself blue against the wall! This has been discussed many times on this thread already!!!!!)
Day camp, the kind Leiby Kletsky went to, is a daytime program only, with hours ranging form 8:00 am and up, through 3:00 pm and later. Some are simple, usually the boys, where there's learning and then some swimming and/or activities and trips. The girls usually have some davening, a shiur, and then activities, swimming and trips. It gives WM a place to leave their school age kids when they work, and it gives the SAHM a few hours of a break so they get their homes/lives in check, while their kids are in a "supervised" environment.
Now with the sleep away camp, it's a gantz andere maaseh. The camps usually start boys over kitta vav, and girls over the fifth grade. Boys don't really have much of a choice (in chassidishe circles) of going or not, as the ENTIRE cheder/yeshivah system relocates to camp. All the menahalim and melamdim and their families, move up for those two months. Only a handful of boys stay behind in a make-shift cheder in the city. With girls it's a bit different, where going to camp is totally optional, so as the gradea rise, more girls come. In other words, few girls in the younger grades go. In the older grades, you always have more and more girls joining.
The reason for sleep away camp? To provide a "country setting" for the city kids, away from the sweltering heat, confined apartments and tank top clad non jews. This is why for the boys it is mamesh liek not an option to stay behind, except for in extreme cases. The girls who stay behind, if they are younger than 8th grade, they attend a day camp. If they are older, they usually apply for some volunteer work or work in the day camp.
Now since the sleep away camp is more as an escape from the city, those living out of the city do not really have camps. I don't know of any cheder or yeshiva out of the city that has a camp, since they are not city restraint kids and have an almost camp like lifestyle. (Although you can't compare care-free spirit-induced camp life to structure-like suburb life, but now I digress...). There was one camp for the Monroe boys where they provided a camp experience for the boys for 2 weeks each summer, but now that the economy hit hard, they discontinued the program.Suburban girls don;t have camps at all, so they join any camp that is owned by city run directors, if they wish to.
I just want to make it clear to everyone that I am not complaining; bh with our move, many of the huge issues that were making life unbearable have been fixed. I was only trying to,point out that I still need my daytime hours childfree to be able to accomplish my day's work. However, there is no point in continuing this line if discussion for me. I won't do it again bli neder. Now back to real life!
I just want to make it clear to everyone that I am not complaining; bh with our move, many of the huge issues that were making life unbearable have been fixed. I was only trying to,point out that I still need my daytime hours childfree to be able to accomplish my day's work. However, there is no point in continuing this line if discussion for me. I won't do it again bli neder. Now back to real life!
Neh, hang around for just a little bit longer. We're only 7 pages short of our goal.
Ok. It took me a couple of hours to catch up and wow. I think "wow" sums it up. Offering advice is ok, especially if the advice is requested. Sometimes sympathy and compassion is preferred. Sometimes when someone feels validated they can find the inner strength to find their own solutions. Just my two cents...
Ok. It took me a couple of hours to catch up and wow. I think "wow" sums it up. Offering advice is ok, especially if the advice is requested. Sometimes sympathy and compassion is preferred. Sometimes when someone feels validated they can find the inner strength to find their own solutions. Just my two cents...
Ok. It took me a couple of hours to catch up and wow. I think "wow" sums it up. Offering advice is ok, especially if the advice is requested. Sometimes sympathy and compassion is preferred. Sometimes when someone feels validated they can find the inner strength to find their own solutions. Just my two cents...
So can I ask you for tzedaka now????
I'm sure you have a valid reason for asking but unfortunately my financial situation is such that I can not offer you that kind of help right now. Ha'levay that all our financial situations should improve, and we can all afford to give but nobody has to ask. 8)
Ok. It took me a couple of hours to catch up and wow. I think "wow" sums it up. Offering advice is ok, especially if the advice is requested. Sometimes sympathy and compassion is preferred. Sometimes when someone feels validated they can find the inner strength to find their own solutions. Just my two cents...
So can I ask you for tzedaka now????
I'm sure you have a valid reason for asking but unfortunately my financial situation is such that I can not offer you that kind of help right now. Ha'levay that all our financial situations should improve, and we can all afford to give but nobody has to ask. 8)
So should I arrange a tzedaka fundraiser so your kids can get into a camp????
Ok. It took me a couple of hours to catch up and wow. I think "wow" sums it up. Offering advice is ok, especially if the advice is requested. Sometimes sympathy and compassion is preferred. Sometimes when someone feels validated they can find the inner strength to find their own solutions. Just my two cents...
So can I ask you for tzedaka now????
I'm sure you have a valid reason for asking but unfortunately my financial situation is such that I can not offer you that kind of help right now. Ha'levay that all our financial situations should improve, and we can all afford to give but nobody has to ask. 8)
So should I arrange a tzedaka fundraiser so your kids can get into a camp????
BH that is not necessary. My parents and in-laws pay for camp for my kids. This summer I have one dd in day camp and one ds in special ed summer school paid for by the board of ed which our tax dollars contribute to. Thank you tax payers, who like us help my son get the services he needs. It is a huge help.
I really think that we have to agree to disagree here. We all lead very different lives, and our temperments are very different as well.
I always worked full time, and when my kids were little, there were plenty of things I just could not do. Like grocery shopping - I called in an order and had it delivered.
We went shoe shopping either when ours fell apart, or it was Pesach time/Tishrei time.
DH cuts ds's hair, and I took DD twice a year for haircuts; again Pesach/Tishrei time.
No, I didn't grow up like this. I grew up in surburbia, with a big house and cars. And my mom took care of us. But my life isn't like that, and I have to face reality.
Just because we need to continue this, I took my kids with me to a furniture store a month ago. Took about 2 hours, 1.5 of which was spent with kids complaining why we couldn't get the reclining chair that plugs in to the wall or the $99 statue of a red character or something...fun, fun, fun
Just because we need to continue this, I took my kids with me to a furniture store a month ago. Took about 2 hours, 1.5 of which was spent with kids complaining why we couldn't get the reclining chair that plugs in to the wall or the $99 statue of a red character or something...fun, fun, fun
Nu, at least you didn't have to go home with the now broken reclining chair that plugs into the wall or the $99 statue.
so I'm ignoring my own advice by posting...
