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(I dare you not to look) WRITERS CLUB part 2
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  mummiedearest  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 5:16 pm
PinkFridge wrote:
Personally, I like to write poems in rhyme. It gives me structure, and it's a challenge to make each line work into the pattern yet work into something meaningful.
I do appreciate prose, and appreciate everyone needing to express themselves in their own unique ways. But if you ever see my name on something that makes you want to put on a beret and bring out the bongos
(Death
dark
dark death
in the deathly dark)

you can be fairly sure I didn't write it.



oh, my. you are a true poet. now all you need is to trail cigarette smoke while reciting your dark, deathly composition. I suspect you really did write that one. am I right?
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  eschaya




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 5:20 pm
PinkFridge wrote:
Personally, I like to write poems in rhyme. It gives me structure, and it's a challenge to make each line work into the pattern yet work into something meaningful.
I do appreciate prose, and appreciate everyone needing to express themselves in their own unique ways. But if you ever see my name on something that makes you want to put on a beret and bring out the bongos
(Death
dark
dark death
in the deathly dark)
you can be fairly sure I didn't write it.


I also love rhyme and rhythm. I know it's not quite in vogue nowadays to keep to a heavy structure, but I really just love poetry that has music in it. I love the poetry of E.A. Poe for example; ornate, intricate, and very musical, if a little contrived. Glad to know I'm not the only one still in the 19th century.
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  PinkFridge  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 6:11 pm
mummiedearest wrote:
PinkFridge wrote:
Personally, I like to write poems in rhyme. It gives me structure, and it's a challenge to make each line work into the pattern yet work into something meaningful.
I do appreciate prose, and appreciate everyone needing to express themselves in their own unique ways. But if you ever see my name on something that makes you want to put on a beret and bring out the bongos
(Death
dark
dark death
in the deathly dark)

you can be fairly sure I didn't write it.



oh, my. you are a true poet. now all you need is to trail cigarette smoke while reciting your dark, deathly composition. I suspect you really did write that one. am I right?


Yes, inspired by Gavin Gunhold, and the poet in the Amanda Matetsky books.
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  the world's best mom  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 6:23 pm
mummiedearest wrote:
robynm wrote:
mummiedearest wrote:
lettuce, lettuce everywhere
and not a drop to drink.


hmmmm... deep or shallow?

thats all I get?


we're in deep lettuce here.

is there really that much pressure? hang out with other people, girl. that poem is scary.

while we're asking for reactions, no one noticed my second rhyming poem! gasp! and I actually put in effort on the rhymes! sigh! oh, my, oh, chicken soup with rice!

Yes, Mummy Dearest, I did notice your second rhyming poem. While it was trying to prove why you shouldn't rhyme, it actually showed that you are quite good at it.

Lady Godiva, your answer to robynm was quite funny, because I wasn't expecting rhyming critiques. I enjoyed it.
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  the world's best mom  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 6:24 pm
eschaya wrote:
PinkFridge wrote:
Personally, I like to write poems in rhyme. It gives me structure, and it's a challenge to make each line work into the pattern yet work into something meaningful.
I do appreciate prose, and appreciate everyone needing to express themselves in their own unique ways. But if you ever see my name on something that makes you want to put on a beret and bring out the bongos
(Death
dark
dark death
in the deathly dark)
you can be fairly sure I didn't write it.


I also love rhyme and rhythm. I know it's not quite in vogue nowadays to keep to a heavy structure, but I really just love poetry that has music in it. I love the poetry of E.A. Poe for example; ornate, intricate, and very musical, if a little contrived. Glad to know I'm not the only one still in the 19th century.

I'm also in the 19th century poetry club.
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  mummiedearest  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 6:30 pm
eschaya wrote:
PinkFridge wrote:
Personally, I like to write poems in rhyme. It gives me structure, and it's a challenge to make each line work into the pattern yet work into something meaningful.
I do appreciate prose, and appreciate everyone needing to express themselves in their own unique ways. But if you ever see my name on something that makes you want to put on a beret and bring out the bongos
(Death
dark
dark death
in the deathly dark)
you can be fairly sure I didn't write it.


I also love rhyme and rhythm. I know it's not quite in vogue nowadays to keep to a heavy structure, but I really just love poetry that has music in it. I love the poetry of E.A. Poe for example; ornate, intricate, and very musical, if a little contrived. Glad to know I'm not the only one still in the 19th century.


I think the difference between Poe and more recent poets is that he was able to pull off the rhyme/structure very skillfully. I think a lot of people these days either sacrifice the meaning for rhyme, or the rhyme for meaning. I definitely appreciate poe. but he didn't ignore the individual words for the overall structure, nor did he lose emphasis on the meanings of his poems. back in the day, poetry was taught as a skill. one did not simply write a poem, one constructed it. a poem adhered to all the rules, and that included not sacrificing anything for the rhyme scheme. you made it all fit together, or it wasn't a poem. this is why it's no longer in vogue. no one teaches proper poem construction anymore. rhyme is now another option of expression, just like capitalization and punctuation. if e. e. cummings had lived significantly earlier, he would never have been considered a poet. now, however, breaking rules has become an art form in itself. I appreciate the old and the new art forms. I tend to avoid rhyming because, well, it's too much work to do it properly. and I can communicate my ideas much more easily without them.
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  sunshine!  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 6:34 pm
edit

Last edited by sunshine! on Mon, Jun 10 2013, 7:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
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  mummiedearest  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 6:43 pm
the world's best mom wrote:
mummiedearest wrote:
robynm wrote:
mummiedearest wrote:
lettuce, lettuce everywhere
and not a drop to drink.


hmmmm... deep or shallow?

thats all I get?


we're in deep lettuce here.

is there really that much pressure? hang out with other people, girl. that poem is scary.

while we're asking for reactions, no one noticed my second rhyming poem! gasp! and I actually put in effort on the rhymes! sigh! oh, my, oh, chicken soup with rice!

Yes, Mummy Dearest, I did notice your second rhyming poem. While it was trying to prove why you shouldn't rhyme, it actually showed that you are quite good at it.


be that as it may, it took me way longer to write that short bit. I did have fun with it, but if I want to convey something serious, I'm generally not going to go in that direction. I did have fun poking fun at myself. and now, an ode to a female's best friend:

mayhap I will chance to find
over by yon tree
a chocolate of some darkish kind
to soothe the nerves of me

for in my soul I know that I
can't still my quivering hands
without that sweet, sweet chocolate
from the slopes of Switzerland.

a chocolate has many a face
a nugget-sized calming friend
within my life it's made its place
until digestion's end.

I shall not forsake my chocolate
over by yon tree
for it shall find its golden fate
deep down inside of me.


Last edited by mummiedearest on Mon, Jan 10 2011, 7:12 pm; edited 1 time in total
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  sunshine!  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 7:00 pm
mummiedearest wrote:


be that as it may, it took me way longer to write that short bit. I did have fun with it, but if I want to convey something serious, I'm generally not going to go in that direction. I did have fun poking fun at myself. and now, an ode to a female's best friend:

mayhap I will chance to find
over by yon tree
a chocolate of some darkish kind
to soothe the nerves of me

for in my soul I know that I
cannot still my quivering hands
without that sweet, sweet chocolate
from the slopes of Switzerland.

a chocolate has many a face
a nugget-sized calming friend
within my life it's made its place
until digestion's end.

I shall not forsake my chocolate
over by yon tree
for it shall find its golden fate
deep down inside of me.


This one talks to me all the way!
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  mummiedearest  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 7:11 pm
sunshine! wrote:
Why should I trust
A world that betrays
The trust I put into it?

Why should we share
Why should we care
The judgment never ceases

I was wrong
You were right
Fingers all keep pointing

Cruelty is shown
No forgiveness known
A world so cold and callous

Break the chains
That binds me here
To people I despise

Let me go
Be free of man
No more pain again



your input pleas...


wow. the poet really doesn't like people. that just slaps you in the face. it's interesting how the structure wavers. it's also interesting to note that though "forgiveness not known," which seems to be a major issue in the poem, the rest of the poem is completely unforgiving of the world in general. it's an interesting concept, certainly.
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  robynm  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 7:17 pm
mummiedearest wrote:
the world's best mom wrote:
mummiedearest wrote:
robynm wrote:
mummiedearest wrote:
lettuce, lettuce everywhere
and not a drop to drink.


hmmmm... deep or shallow?

thats all I get?


we're in deep lettuce here.

is there really that much pressure? hang out with other people, girl. that poem is scary.

while we're asking for reactions, no one noticed my second rhyming poem! gasp! and I actually put in effort on the rhymes! sigh! oh, my, oh, chicken soup with rice!

Yes, Mummy Dearest, I did notice your second rhyming poem. While it was trying to prove why you shouldn't rhyme, it actually showed that you are quite good at it.


be that as it may, it took me way longer to write that short bit. I did have fun with it, but if I want to convey something serious, I'm generally not going to go in that direction. I did have fun poking fun at myself. and now, an ode to a female's best friend:

mayhap I will chance to find
over by yon tree
a chocolate of some darkish kind
to soothe the nerves of me

for in my soul I know that I
can't still my quivering hands
without that sweet, sweet chocolate
from the slopes of Switzerland.

a chocolate has many a face
a nugget-sized calming friend
within my life it's made its place
until digestion's end.

I shall not forsake my chocolate
over by yon tree
for it shall find its golden fate
deep down inside of me.


love love this one!!! def my favorite so far!!!
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  mummiedearest  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 7:19 pm
robynm wrote:
mummiedearest wrote:
the world's best mom wrote:
mummiedearest wrote:
robynm wrote:
mummiedearest wrote:
lettuce, lettuce everywhere
and not a drop to drink.


hmmmm... deep or shallow?

thats all I get?


we're in deep lettuce here.

is there really that much pressure? hang out with other people, girl. that poem is scary.

while we're asking for reactions, no one noticed my second rhyming poem! gasp! and I actually put in effort on the rhymes! sigh! oh, my, oh, chicken soup with rice!

Yes, Mummy Dearest, I did notice your second rhyming poem. While it was trying to prove why you shouldn't rhyme, it actually showed that you are quite good at it.


be that as it may, it took me way longer to write that short bit. I did have fun with it, but if I want to convey something serious, I'm generally not going to go in that direction. I did have fun poking fun at myself. and now, an ode to a female's best friend:

mayhap I will chance to find
over by yon tree
a chocolate of some darkish kind
to soothe the nerves of me

for in my soul I know that I
can't still my quivering hands
without that sweet, sweet chocolate
from the slopes of Switzerland.

a chocolate has many a face
a nugget-sized calming friend
within my life it's made its place
until digestion's end.

I shall not forsake my chocolate
over by yon tree
for it shall find its golden fate
deep down inside of me.


love love this one!!! def my favorite so far!!!


do I win the golden robin award? I'd like to thank the academy, my family, my friends, and of course my enemies. I'd like to send a shout-out to schmerlings for bringing me to this level of friendship with chocolate...
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  robynm  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 7:24 pm
its platinum! and its robyn!!! and so far yeah you get first place Cheers
cus I love me some chocolate!!!
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  mummiedearest  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 7:34 pm
robynm wrote:
its platinum! and its robyn!!! and so far yeah you get first place Cheers
cus I love me some chocolate!!!


in that case...

my tree of cocoa origin
bestows on thee, my friend
some chocolate, and some more again,
to make thy tastebuds bend.


(gosh, I like thees and thous...)
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  robynm  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 7:36 pm
mummiedearest wrote:
robynm wrote:
its platinum! and its robyn!!! and so far yeah you get first place Cheers
cus I love me some chocolate!!!


in that case...

my tree of cocoa origin
bestows on thee, my friend
some chocolate, and some more again,
to make thy tastebuds bend.


(gosh, I like thees and thous...)


well thank you!!! should nt you be writing a paper?

im off to find real chocolate now!! Bounce
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  sunshine!  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 7:47 pm
mummiedearest wrote:
sunshine! wrote:
Why should I trust
A world that betrays
The trust I put into it?

Why should we share
Why should we care
The judgment never ceases

I was wrong
You were right
Fingers all keep pointing

Cruelty is shown
No forgiveness known
A world so cold and callous

Break the chains
That binds me here
To people I despise

Let me go
Be free of man
No more pain again



your input pleas...


wow. the poet really doesn't like people. that just slaps you in the face. it's interesting how the structure wavers. it's also interesting to note that though "forgiveness not known," which seems to be a major issue in the poem, the rest of the poem is completely unforgiving of the world in general. it's an interesting concept, certainly.


The poet actually does like people! Sometimes naively so. This poem was written in the dark teenage years or self discovery and rebelliousness. B'h perspective has been restored and life is all good now!
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  mummiedearest  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 7:50 pm
sunshine! wrote:
mummiedearest wrote:
sunshine! wrote:
Why should I trust
A world that betrays
The trust I put into it?

Why should we share
Why should we care
The judgment never ceases

I was wrong
You were right
Fingers all keep pointing

Cruelty is shown
No forgiveness known
A world so cold and callous

Break the chains
That binds me here
To people I despise

Let me go
Be free of man
No more pain again



your input pleas...


wow. the poet really doesn't like people. that just slaps you in the face. it's interesting how the structure wavers. it's also interesting to note that though "forgiveness not known," which seems to be a major issue in the poem, the rest of the poem is completely unforgiving of the world in general. it's an interesting concept, certainly.


The poet actually does like people! Sometimes naively so. This poem was written in the dark teenage years or self discovery and rebelliousness. B'h perspective has been restored and life is all good now!


thank G-d. you scared me there. wow.

I like your current perspective a whole lot better.
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  mummiedearest  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 7:59 pm
robynm wrote:
mummiedearest wrote:
robynm wrote:
its platinum! and its robyn!!! and so far yeah you get first place Cheers
cus I love me some chocolate!!!


in that case...

my tree of cocoa origin
bestows on thee, my friend
some chocolate, and some more again,
to make thy tastebuds bend.


(gosh, I like thees and thous...)


well thank you!!! should nt you be writing a paper?

im off to find real chocolate now!! Bounce


ode to procrastination, my favorite time of the year

I should be writing a paper
writing and writing some more
I should be writing a paper
alas! my brain is sore

my brain, my brain! why do you fret
over words of others' essays?
are these really things you need to know
until the end of days?

clear out the attic as sherlock holmes said,
remove all impractical facts,
then come here and write some poetry.
churn out some rhyming tracts.

what need have I for papers dreary,
for homework, oh so blah,
with a writing club at my fingertips.
hated papers, I say bah.



dedicated to all my enablers out there. cheers Cheers
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  robynm  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 8:03 pm
ill take full credit for that one .... sadly no chocolate found on my hunt Crying
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  mummiedearest  




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 10 2011, 8:07 pm
robynm wrote:
ill take full credit for that one .... sadly no chocolate found on my hunt Crying


sorry. alas, I don't own a cocoa tree. not that it matters, I can't eat chocolate anyway. I'm very good at eating dream chocolate. want some?
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