stressed out from kids/housework any tips????

amother

Thu, Jul 13 2006, 1:08 am

Hi, I'm more like venting, but want to know if others are going through the same. I have 2 kids under 2, who are really cute, but they tear the house apart faster than I can clean it. I'm teaching next year in highschool(which I need for my sanity and to learn a little), and I'm the principal of a hebrew school. I have tons of preparing to do, and my kids don't give me a minute to breathe!!!! They are too young for camp, and I don't know any babysitters here in L.A., that are available in the summer. Someone just recommended me someone who's not frum (which I'm not crazy about) who can come to my house. But, wouldn't my kids just want to stick w/ me? I can't imagine that helping? And, it's too hot to go to the park, or even to play outside. Any tips? What do you other mothers do???? Do you spend tons of money at a babysitter?? Is it worth it?? To top it off, my husband doesn't like to watch the kids, and his parents who live near here don't want to be their babysitters. The few times I asked them if I can bring my kids over, they told me if I come too to watch them....Is anyone else's in laws like that too? Do your husbands help w/ the kids??? Any tips??

cindy324 ↓

Thu, Jul 13 2006, 12:15 pm

I think that hiring an at home babysitter might be a good idea. It might take a few days for your kids to get used to her, but once they warm up to her, she can take them out to the park , or keep them busy at home, play with them, maybe set up a kiddie pool in your backyard, so the sitter could watche them while they splash around.

On the other hand, you need to have a talk with your husband. He doesn't like to watch the kids??? You need to have a serious discussion about how they are his kids too, and being that you don't have the option of not watching them, neither should he. You need to work and you need help, you should not have to do this by yourself

ceo

Thu, Jul 13 2006, 1:00 pm

I was also not crazy about the idea of a non-frum babysitter, but your emotional help is also important! I would speak to you Rav about it. That's what happened to me- I was having tough time finidng a frum babysitter who I could rely on and would work the hours I needed. Our Rav told us that thre was no problem up until age two, then between two or four, it depends on the situation.

I agree that it might take a few days for your kids to get used to the sitter, but then, you will be able to work. Another idea- is it possible for you to take your work with you? When the sitter comes to my house, I head out to the public library and camp out there to get work done. Is that a possibility for you?

Also, you MUST speak to your husband about helping, unless there is an extenuating circumstance. Perhaps go to your Rav together and ask for eitza.

hatalacha!

Health is a Virture

Thu, Jul 20 2006, 3:46 pm

If you are going to be home and it's during the day and all, you can always hire someone fairly young. But, get someobody to help you out!!! Also, maybe your hsuband just doesn't know what to do with the kids. Maybe, everybody ca play together and also in a nonconfrontational manner, encourage your husband to play with your children.
give him lots of positivde reinforcement. He may just feel awkward and uncomfortable and feel that he is not good at it for some reason. ?? Any ideas why he doesn't want to play with them?

BrachaVHatzlocha

Thu, Jul 20 2006, 9:46 pm

I know how you feel, amother!! My oldest just turned 2 and my baby is 7 months old. I work until 2:30 and after I come home I feel like I can get nothing done! WHen they're finally in bed (about 7:30), then I'm too exhausted to do anything! Smile

B"H for the kids, though, right? What I find is maybe resting for a while after they go to sleep and working a bit until I'm ready to get ready for bed.
I work and I imagine that if I was home all day with them, I would have to get out, too. Good luck with your new job. I agree that you should try to hire someone. Have her take them to the park, or maybe you can lock yourself up in a room. Or as someone mentioned, the library should work.
Good luck and take it easy!!

raizy

Thu, Jul 20 2006, 11:09 pm

where is your husband during the day and why cant he be the one watching them while u clean and prepare the work?

WHAT DO u mean that your husband doesnt like to watch his own kids.didnt he help create these children?tell him as long as you are bringing in the money and keeping the house clean it is his responsiblty to watch the kids. I cant believe that a husband is exused from watching his own children. what is he doing while u are cleaning cooking etc.

I dont have time to go on and on but I can write a pageful of what I feel about men who dont contribute to the fair share of work at home. I knew I am SPOILEd because my hubby helps me alot . but I dont consider it spoiled he brought these kids on this world he will jolly well take care of them. I write spoiled in bold bc he is doing normal everyday things that help me out . nothing grand or fancy!!! BUT some pples husbnad dont even do that> WHY not .

p.s my keyboard is driving me crazy today!!!!

MOM222

Thu, Jul 20 2006, 11:55 pm

I think everyone should stop right here about the husband not helping.

Thats a fact and to change any husband would take more than a summer, so right now the amother needs tips on how to cope.

Make believe he is learning, goes aways for business......

Definitely get help. Could you try to find a mothers helper?
The kids will want to stick with you the first few days but then they will leave you a bit.

The library is a good idea.

Another idea would be to get cleaning help so you could devote the time to your kids and then have the strength to prepare during naps or at night.

mushmom

Sun, Jul 23 2006, 11:48 pm

original amother: your situation sounds just like mine. so here's advice from my trecnhes:
my idea for coping with 2 kids and keeping it all together is LEAVE THE HOUSE. now this doesn't work for me everyday and it may not work for you at all, but the idea is, just get the kids into the car (do you have one? I know most ppl in LA do), turn on the air conditioner, if they cry- put the music on blasting- and just go. go to malls, indoor playgrounds, toy stores, sports shops- anywhere. just go. pack your bag and food the night before if you can. as far as getting out of the house, which to me is as hard as anything I;ve ever done, just repeat to yourself- out loud if it helps- we are leaving the house, we are leaving the house and just keep working toward that. think of it as a mountain climb. have the supper stuff ready and defrosted from the night before- and don't you dare cook fancy- and when you come home throw it together, baths, supper and bed. it wqont work everyday- certainly doesnt for me- but when it does, you'll feel good enough to last through a few hard days. also, I keep repeating to myself- there are the years, these are the years for this kind of craziness; one day it'll be calm. good luck!!!