Dropping mitzvos | Imamother

amother ↓

Sat, Apr 08 2006, 11:04 pm

It's scary to say but I've been neglagent in a lot of areas. It's not because of ignorance. It's not because of mistakes.I'm very well aware of what I'm doing but I feel it's out of control. Part of it is due to my EXTREME laziness and part of is just as though s/thing snapped in me. I feel cold to so many mitzvos and view them as 'unimportant' CH"V. OTOH, I display treamendous simcha and exactness to certain mitzvos-- but I think it's only for self-benefit.

I've done chilul shabbos when needed for CONVENIANCE!! I've stopped saying brochos many times and I don't always wash my hands when supposed to and I definately don't wash them properly.

Help!!

Blossom ↓

Sat, Apr 08 2006, 11:41 pm

You see it bothers you so that's a good sign that you do want to correct it and change the way it's now. Is there someone who you can share your situation with like a rav, mashpia. How about a close family member? Maybe you need a push or some inspiration? How about listening to a tape? Attending a shiur? Joining a group??? Reading a good book on this topic??
YOu'll be amazed how much information and help is out there and how ready and willing people are to help you. Now is a great time to start, with the yom tov Pesach approaching. It is said that how you act on Pesach that is how you will act throughout the coming year so maybe that will give you a little push. I think you need to do it with someone who will be able to guide you as on how much you should take upon yourself to work on and how exactly you should work on it. Go for it!! You just need to open a small tiny opening and Hashem will help you and open the world to you.
May you have lots of hatzlacha.

↑ Blossom ↓

Sat, Apr 08 2006, 11:59 pm

amother you took the first step which is usually the hardest. I applaud you for that. When exactly did you tell your Rav or DH about it?? You gotta give yourself some sort of time. Even if they pushed you it's not going to take one day for you to want to start doing everything!!
I am certainly not a Rav so don't take my words as Toras Moshe but I do think everyone understands that it doesn't take exactly a day or two for things that you've just started working on to become second nature to you.
You need lots of support and patting on the back and every now and then a good push. So try pushing yourself as much as you can and whenever you need a pat on the back you can come up here and we'll give it to you because you deserve it for any accomplishment you achieve. And since we are not good at praising ourselves and applauding ourselves at least let others do it for you .
Here I'm sending you a pat on your forehead:salut . Now go ahead and im yirtzei Hashem you'll be matzliach

happyone

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 2:04 am

Good for you that you contacted your Rav and husband. That's an amazing first step, which takes a lot of courage!
Obviously, these are signs that you do want to change your habits. With the proper support, I'm sure you will. Did you drop some mitzvos because they were difficult for you, you resent this way of life?, Does the way you grew up affect your attitude now? etc..
Good luck to you!

Tefila

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 9:03 am

Amother you may pm me.
But I'll try to answer you basically here.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves a push just like we need to when it comes to anything hard that comes to us.

It's our Yetzer hora at work and if we knew really what type of lousy friend he is we would try to work against him even harder.
He pretends to make ones life easier by saying "why do this that or the other it's only mida derabbanan, it's not worth making your life crazy over etc" he evens trys holy excuses.

But when we reach the day of judgement he is the first one to come and accuse us of what we had done.
That lousy balckmailing traitor Exploding anger

and yes he's constantly at work. SO go ahead amother do one mitzvah now and you will see your energy will come to do more.

Show that lazy good for nothing Yetzer Hora who is boss once and for all Very Happy

shalhevet

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 4:27 pm

Why don't you start with one mitzva to be careful about e.g. being particular about something on shabbos that you were lax about lately. Then gradually build up. At the same time maybe you could find an inspiring shiur to give you more inspiration e.g. to learn about reasons for the mitzvot etc.
I think you're amazing that you are willing to ask people for help and not just let yourself slowly go downhill. Hatzlacha and lots of siyata dishmaya.

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 4:57 pm

Maybe you need to go back to the basics.
Do you believe that there is a G-d?
Do you believe that he created the world as an act of kindness to His people?
Do you believe that he took us out of Mitzrayim, and gave us the Torah so that we can accumulate zchuyos?
Do you believe that there immeasurable rewards waiting for us after 120?
If you believe all that, and think about it very often and carefully and actively, the actions will come.
If you question all that, then go an active search for the answers. Gateways and other organisations offer classes and tapes that help with the basics.
Good Luck!!

↑ amother

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 5:48 pm

amother wrote:

yes much of my Problem is that I believe TOO much in Ahavas Hashem and not enough in Yirah. I think all my "little'' mistakes will be tolerated cuz Hashem loves me......screwed up a bit huh?!
Rolling Eyes

↑ Blossom

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 6:26 pm

amother I'm just thinking.......That right now after Pesach we'll start saying Pirkei Avos which really is so holy and full of yirah. Maybe you should make sure to say it every week and that will help you alot with your thoughts. (just a thought-you do whatever your rav or husband tells you to).

nehama

Sun, Apr 09 2006, 8:57 pm

How about choosing one thing to work on and appointing someone to be on top of you about it. I know it works better for me to feel that I'm accountable to someone.

Hatzlacha!!