Disciplining while working

AlwaysGrateful

Mon, Sep 21 2009, 11:36 am

For those of you whose children are not being watched by others while you work...

How do you discipline them? Or do you?

I have a young ds, a year old or so, and up until now he knows that mommy's at the computer, and he doesn't touch the computer. Of course, he might get bored, need me to come play with him for a bit, or hurt himself and need a hug, but he's never actively tried to stop me from working.

That's ending now. He wants to play with my computer, and when I put it out of his reach, he kvetches and tries to get me to stop working. I understand that he wants mommy's attention, but I need to work! I only work part time, and most of it is when he's napping or sleeping, but part of it has to be while he's up. He's usually fine playing with his toys on his own for a short amount of time (while I'm making dinner, cleaning up, etc), but not when I'm on the computer!

What I'm really nervous about is that I seem to be giving him more attention when he's being "bad" (distracting) than "good" (not distracting). I know that's a bad thing. But how can I give him attention when he's "good," if the whole point is that he's giving me the chance to focus on my work? And should I really just ignore him when he's kvetching for me? For how long?

Does anyone else have a kid this age? How long is it normal to expect him to play on his own? He's a good kid, and very independent.

ora_43

Tue, Sep 22 2009, 5:34 am

I've only been able to work for more than an hour with the kids awake if they're both home + have slept well + are playing nicely together (this has happened a total of maybe 3 times). With one kid alone, forget it.

My recommendation - either work in small chunks of time (for example, if I have a translation project that I have plenty of time for, I can work for 15-20 minutes at a time while the kids play, and hopefully work for a total of 90 minutes or so) or hire a babysitter/ send your child to daycare. I plan for some sort of childcare if I have more than an hour to work before dh gets home.

In an emergency (if daycare has fallen through or whatever else), I let my kids play with something they don't usually get to play with (like pulling all the dishes out of the cupboard, or breaking out some new art supplies, or playing with water inside the house, whatever). That keeps them quiet for a bit longer than usual.

I don't think a young child should be disciplined for trying to get your attention. It's natural at that age. You might be able to train it out of him, but at what cost?

shalhevet

Tue, Sep 22 2009, 5:47 am

I agree with ora. The reason you have managed so far to get him to play by himself was because he was too little to realize the computer had your attention. While you cook, fold laundry etc you still talk etc to your child.

I think you should consider a babysitter. The babysitter can even by a 10 year old to sit and play with the children in another room, with you available in an emergency.