Bris gift during the nine days?

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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Mirabelle ↓

Thu, Jul 23 2009, 9:00 am

I am going to a bris tomorrow morning. The baby is the son of my very good friend's brother. I do not know the brother that well.

I know that this family already has another boy, so I am sure they already have tons of "boy stuff" and I am sure it is not the best idea to buy a new baby outfit during the nine days anyway.

Any ideas on what I can give? Is it tacky to give a big package of newborn diapers (with a bow or something)?

Mommish

Thu, Jul 23 2009, 9:10 am

Sorry, but I think it is pretty tacky to give a bag of diapers. Can you give a gift certificate to Target or Babies R Us instead, or a nice photo album or toy? You could get an outfit that's size 12 or 18 mos since those usually get a lot of wear and tear. I don't know about buying a baby outfit during the 9 days, but you could send something right after 9 Av if its a concern.

sped

Thu, Jul 23 2009, 9:14 am

We asked a real rav about gift giving for a bar mitzvah during the 9 days and he said it is not a problem.

↑ Mirabelle ↓

Thu, Jul 23 2009, 12:23 pm

I wasnt sure how I felt about the diapers..I have seen people do that, especially for people with a lot of other kids who don't need "stuff."

I think I am going to head and out and see what I can find. A gift card is also a nice idea. When people gave me gift cards when DD was born, I did actually use a lot of them for diapers! Very Happy

Marion

Thu, Jul 23 2009, 12:55 pm

I often give a package of newborn diapers with a small gift card attached. In fact, I've done it ever since someone did that for me...and I had to open it AT the bris, because I was short diapers!

Mommy3.5

Thu, Jul 23 2009, 10:23 pm

There is no issur of buying new clothes, just wearing new clothes...

JollyMommy

Thu, Jul 23 2009, 10:26 pm

please buy them another outfit! just because they have another son doesn't mean they won't appreciate something new!! even cuter would be something (like a shirt) to match the two brothers.

sympa

Fri, Jul 24 2009, 8:45 am

It is a problem buying new clothes in the 9 days.
As always, ask your LOR. I think if you've already bought it before the 9 days, it's ok to give it. It's probably preferable to wait until after tisha b'av, then give the gift (if possible).

About diapers - someone gave us size 1, no-name brand diapers (in addition to something else small). We didn't appreciate it. We had lots of huggies, which we were much happier with. Of course, they didn't know that, and we didn't need any more outfits, but we did think it was weird and unnecessary. Maybe it was different b/c it was our first baby - and this person had 6 kids, so maybe they would have loved a package of diapers.

Last edited by sympa on Wed, Mar 13 2019, 7:13 am; edited 1 time in total

↑ Mirabelle

Fri, Jul 24 2009, 9:26 am

I think for a first kid it is weird to give diapers.

If I did give diapers I would be embarrassed to give the "no name" brand, especially since I have always used the "higher end" ones for my own child.

When DD was born, I think the most useless gift we got was a million and one baby blankets (some handmade). When we moved I counted how many she has and she has OVER 30!! shock

Since so many of them are handmade I feel weird giving them away. I did give away the store bought ones (to a tzedakah auction).

Raisin

Fri, Jul 24 2009, 9:31 am

with a second boy a gift card is a great idea, so they can buy the clothes they do need as the kid gets older.

elmos

Sun, Jul 26 2009, 8:02 pm

As tacky as some might say diapers is one of my mothers best freinds typical gifts is a box of diaers and depending on the closeness wipesalso being like a niece to this couple I recieved a case of diapers and wipes which I appriciated it was my first baby and yes I needed everythingbut I needed this to it saved me alot o money and hassle to run and buy as it lasted awhile. Not everyone will buy cases but I know form many of my freinds diapers were always appriciated wether it wa the whole gift or part of a gift kids never have enough of them.

chocolate moose

Wed, Jul 29 2009, 8:48 pm

I just read in a dinim book that gifts are not given during the 9 days.

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