DD "late" on training?

Ruchel ↓

Tue, Jul 21 2009, 10:57 am

Today Mati went to the ped. She said BH she was advanced in everything but getting kind of late about tt. She is 2 yrs 5 months in a few days... she needs to be potty trained for pre-gan in September. According to the school director "many" kids are trained at 2.5 and "almost all" by 3... Now things may be stricter than in America, from some convos here... but what do you think??

Mati doesn't seem so interested in TT. She will sometimes say she needs the potty or toilets (with reductor) but generally doesn't do anything and loses interest. She likes playing in TP and flushing, etc, but doesn't seem to want really more. When I ask her she says she is "too young" LOL.

Ped and director say to push. WDYT? DH has no opinion but would like her to go to school on September if possible. Same for me personally.

Mirabelle ↓

Tue, Jul 21 2009, 11:11 am

My DD is a bit older, 2 years 9 months are we are finally getting serious about toilet training. Her 3 year old class in September does not take kids in diapers, so that is our main inspiration.

To be honest with you she wasn't all that interested, but I had to sit down and explain to her that if she wants to go back to her school she can't wear diapers anymore. She really misses her Morot and her school over the summer, so that seems to be working so far...

NativeMom ↓

Tue, Jul 21 2009, 11:17 am

My DS will be 3 in a couple weeks and he's still not potty trained. I've been trying, he's gone in the potty a couple times but it isn't consistent. I'm ready to scream. I'm having a hard time and I'm getting stressed out. He's starting pre-school in the fall and I'm trying to get him trained by then. I haven't been home much this summer and I think that might have something to do with it...

↑ NativeMom

Tue, Jul 21 2009, 11:18 am

Nicole wrote:

Here, the idea is not to push. I've seen a few different kids who had no interest in toilet training, and then at age three the moms said "no more daipers. Period" and at that point they trained without a few days.

My father is a pediatrician and that's what he says. I think I'm getting to that point. Right now he's on pull-ups (which are more like diapers) and training underwear. Now I think I'll just stick to the underwear.

Starhavah

Tue, Jul 21 2009, 11:30 am

DD was dry at night since before she was 2yo. By Sept. of the time she was 4 (4.5) she was the only one in her daycare group who was not trained, but she had no interest and did not mind wearing diapers. When she was 4.75 (January) I had had it. I put her in underwear told her not to pee and have a BM in them. My day care provider was really nice about it. DD had accidents regularly. For the rest of the year she had at least one accident per day, sometime 2 or 3 per day. When she went to Kindergarten in the fall I sent her with three changes of clothes and prayed a lot. Apparently, the social situation was enough different or the idea of being a big girl in kindergarten helped but she stopped having accidents at school (although she did have a number on the bus ride home, but that was solved by insisting that she go to the bathroom before getting on the bus). And then it was over.

The deal was she did not want to train. There were too many interesting things going on to stop what she was doing to go to the potty. Whereas getting your diaper changed was because someone came by picked her up and changed her. She did not choose the time. Her preschool teacher said had she had the desire to train earlier she could have, she just did not want to. Unless they want to, it is pretty difficult to force on them.

My aunt had a late training kid. She sent him to school which he loved. After one week there, she told him that the teacher had called her and told her that if he did not use the potty he could not go back to school. (That was a lie.) He trained in a weekend.

I say wait.

nicole81 ↓

Tue, Jul 21 2009, 11:34 am

well if she has to be trained by september, then you don't really have a choice, do you?

however, my personal feeling is not to push it until they're ready. I had two wildly different experiences training my dds and it has changed my perspective.

I tried to train dd#1 for months on end. her gan encouraged sending her in underwear so she would learn. poor girl had accidents every single day. I don't know what we were thinking, but we kept on going with the training. I think it took around 8 months of constant accidents, messes, tears, etc until she got the hang. I feel so bad; we must have traumatized her!

dd#2 always knew about the potty but was never interested. I decided to wait until she was ready to train. ready doesn't necessarily mean interested, but rather she was able to hold it in, knew when she had to go, etc.

twice last week she made poops that fell out of her diaper and caused a great mess. friday night, after the second time this happened I told her that she couldn't wear diapers anymore because they were too disgusting. she said "ok" and used the toilet ever since! what a world of difference. today is day 3 and her only accident was late friday night. dry ever since.

↑ nicole81

Tue, Jul 21 2009, 11:46 am

well do you feel she can hold it in yet? and she knows when she has to make? because if not, then you're going to have a heck of a time trying to TT her.

if you feel she's physically ready, let her know the morah said she can't go to school until she's trained. try bribing her with a present, making a sticker chart, whatever she likes. if this doesn't work, then forget it and try again next month!

I told dd on shabbos that if she stayed dry she'd get a present. yesterday I got her a singing barbie doll and she's so proud. she tells everyone she got her doll because she pees in the toilet.

Barbara ↓

Tue, Jul 21 2009, 11:46 am

Ruchel wrote:

3 is a long way off for her. Saying that she's not ready or not interested at 2yrs 5 mos doesn't mean that she won't be pottying like a pro at 2yrs 8mos. Things change fast with littluns.

I can't see that it would hurt to give it a try right now if you're home with her for the summer. We did the *7 days, $70* thing (letting them run around without bottoms, the money is to clean the carpet). If she's not ready or shows no interest, try again in a couple of months.

Just remember, it may be important now, in terms of starting pre-gan, but it will be meaningless later. Harvard (the Sorbonne? Some kick-tush seminary?) isn't going to turn her down because she wasn't out of diapers until she was 3. Unless someone tells me that's the latest question asked for shidduchs ... Wink

smoms

Tue, Jul 21 2009, 12:30 pm

My dd was the same age and she was very ready but not interested. I was also needing her to be trained for school. Same situation basically

Well basically my mom kept on telling me-if u wait until she's ready she may never be ready. -
That's the older generation. Mom says she trained all of us kids at 18 months.
So we decided to give her a reason to want. I bought two nice new toys and we displayed it on a shelf. And we took off her pamper one nice day and we told her if u make in the potty then u get to play with one of the toys.
After each accident I would clean it up together with her and point to the toy and say - I am so sad cause we can't play with the toy now. After 3 accidents she got it!
Within a week she was fully trained.

mummy-bh ↓

Tue, Jul 21 2009, 1:35 pm

I always waited until my kids were 2 yrs and 8 or 9 months. they would literally BEG me to use the potty. all took no more than 2-3 accidents to be fully trained (except one who I could see had no clue what he was meant to do and gave up for three months. he was then trained day and night in a couple of days)

catonmylap

Tue, Jul 21 2009, 1:59 pm

Ds is only a couple weeks younger and no where close.

He does not need to be trained for gan until next year(year from September). The gan that starts at age 3 require toilet training. Gan for 2 year olds doesn't. They actually help with the training.

I'm not expecting anything till he's much closer to 3 or even past it. His first cousin has just trained now and is 11 months older(3 yrs and 3 months).

Crayon210

Wed, Jul 22 2009, 12:15 am

From what we know of your daughter, I wouldn't push her. LOL

There will be a time when she'll go for it on her own (she's very bright, isn't she?), and then you'll look back and wonder what you were worried about. Don't worry, she won't wear diapers to her wedding. Repeat that a few times a day as necessary. 8)

su7kids ↓

Wed, Jul 22 2009, 3:56 am

Ruchel wrote:

I can always not send her there and still to the same caregiver, although she says she wants to go to school... she could maybe go mid-year if she is toilet trained later... or just skip the whole pre gan thing altogether and go the following year to gan...

Ruchel, do you work? why are you in a hurry to send her to school?

Any of my kids who were trained before 3 had accidents for many years afterwards. The later they are trained, the more it "sticks", in my experience.

I vote for "keep her home for another year".

↑ Ruchel

Wed, Jul 22 2009, 6:17 am

su7kids wrote:

Ruchel, do you work? why are you in a hurry to send her to school?

What's the link? There are other women at home here with kid(s) in school...
SHE asks to go. I didn't even mention it. But yes, I think being at school = more children and more learning, which is good.

Quote:

I vote for "keep her home for another year".

This option is not existent. She would be miserable without other children, which is why I started sending her out last summer on doc order, after resisting for months (stupidly). As I said, it is either pre-gan or the caregiver she goes to now.

Thanks for sharing your experience, and let's not turn this into what sahm do all day...