Horrible mom of the year award goes to... ME.

I feel like the worst mom. I am the worst mom. this has been bothering me like crazy.

my son woke up at 5 this morning, and we transferred him into a different room so he wouldnt wake my daughter up. at one point I heard him go to the bathroom, and I figured he went back to bed. then I heard him calling and calling and then it turned to crying and crying, ima abba ima abba, I was half asleep and I figured he just wants to come out of bed. I have no idea how long it was but finally this poor kid let out a hysterical cry and says "ima, can you wipe me?" the poor kid was on the toilet the whole time. I have no idea how long it was, but it was too long. he was shaking from cries. I ran out of bed, wiped him and hugged him next to me in bed until he calmed down. I told him "next time just say you need to be wiped, I had no idea you were in the bathroom."

hes so forgiving. I was looking at his little happy smiley face an hour later and I am ridden with guilt. I feel so bad. how could I have ignored him? and that was probably so uncomfortable for him.
I feel horrible. just need to get it off my chest.

Gold Member Joined: Aug 19 2011 Posts: 1977

It's ok. He's not scarred for life. I've also had situations where someone is crying for whatever reason and it just incorporates itself into my dream. We all do the best we can. You are a good mom.

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 19 2011 Posts: 2692

Don't beat yourself up. He moved beyond it and you should too. Hug

Maybe in the future, have him tell you if he needs to use the bathroom so you know if he'll need help with the wiping and you or DH can be there for that.
_________________
"We need not appear in the world as an Alabama or South Africa." - Ben Gurion, 1963, in a letter to Prime Minister Levi Eshkol

Diamond Member Joined: Feb 15 2007 Posts: 3232

Absolutely the worst. Call social services and have the kid put in a foster home.

(British sarcasm intended.)

Please stop thinking of yourself as "the worst mother." You are the only mother, by far the best one he has. The best person to comfort him after he has a scary experience in the bathroom in the early hours of the morning.

And it was probably much less time than you thought it was. Just like dreams that take a few seconds seem to last for a very long time.

And now you can teach him to wipe himself and he'll be happy to learn.

Can I share your award? We are going through a tough time in my family. My usually eager-to-please child turned into a monster tonight. I gave three (!) potches. We both apologized to each other. I don't feel like the loving mother I usually am.

Diamond Member Joined: Jun 09 2009 Posts: 3227

I had a similar experience. MY 6 yr. old dd sleeps with braces on her feet. She can't walk in them. They hurt her and she wakes up crying every night, so we usually bring her into our room when we are ready for bed.

One night, dh wasn't home until 2 or 3 am. I went to bed when ds woke up and wanted to cuddle with me, but then
I remembered I had left dd in her bed. I was worried that she would cry and I wouldn't hear her, but I figured dh would be home pretty soon and I'll try to stay alert until then.

The next thing I knew, she was crawling into my room, sobbing hysterically. She had been calling me, and I didn't hear. Crying or Very sad

I felt terrible, but she was totally fine. It was a mistake, and it happens. We get over it and the kids get over it even more easily than we do.

Eleven years ago I loudly told my daughter, "will you stop crying already?" She was only a baby and she had a tumor. She hardly slept and was screaming all the time. Her twin also had birth defects. Both babies needed constant watching.

The funny part was she looked at me and immediately stopped crying. Who in their right mind tells a baby not to cry? It was such a lousy thing to do. I had promised myself I would never react to my kids because I was tired, etc. To this day I feel guilty so I get the worst mom of the century award.

what about sending a child to school with a "slight" sore throat, because you can't bear the thought of having to deal with her all day? Embarassed

or locking her in the bedroom until the entire floor - filled with toys and scraps of paper - is swept clean?

[I'm so glad this thread is amother enabled!]

OP - like you've been already told, I'm sure he wasn't scarred for life - unless you do this daily (or weekly?)
mine do remind me of some of my awfulness now that they're teens - and BH laugh about it.

While we're all doing confessionals, two nights ago my baby woke up crying for a long time, which is very unusual for him. Half asleep, I gave him a bottle and went back to bed, ignoring his cries. I woke up in the morning and he was covered in vomit. I kept him home the rest of the day; he was home sick with fever. Needless to say, I felt horrible that I made him sleep all night in his own vomit.

I'm sorry but nothing is like saying to your kid that you wanna kill them!!

After reading all your confessions I am sure I am the worst mother. Sad

Silver Member Joined: Feb 03 2009 Posts: 545

You know what makes us all GREAT moms? The fact that we feel like the WORST for these situations. It is the ones who never feel guilt or room for improvement that .... So, shed a tear or two, take a deep breath and shoulder on. YOU are all the very best mothers for these precious souls as they were specifally entrusted to you. There will NEVER be anyone who will love your child as fiercely as you do, all you wonderful yiddishe mamas...YOU ARE ALL AMAZING!!!

Omg that is so sad...you're definitely NOT a horrible mother, look how upset you are over this! It's probably making you feel bad all day...that makes you an awesome mother who didn't realize her kid needed to be wiped...
If it makes you feel any better, when my son throws up in the middle of the night (not often) he doesn't wake us. I go to his room and say "why didn't you wake us? You threw up!" his response "I didn't want to bother you and daddy" oish. I love kids. I'm sure your son will forgive you (or already does)

Executive Member Joined: Feb 27 2010 Posts: 464

so you're human? sorry, you don't get an award for being human.

Gold Member Joined: Apr 29 2010 Posts: 1026

An honest mistake...forgive yourself. Smile

I felt like a mommy failure on Sunday. I took my 16 month-old dd to the museum, which she was so excited about. After stopping for lunch, we went to another exhibit. They had little phones kids could pick up and listen to recorded information. My dd went for a phone near a kid (who was about 2) sitting on a bench. As she reached for the phone, I saw this kid's mouth going for my dd's hand. The next thing I saw was dd pulling her hand away, holding it close to her body and looking like she was trying hard not to cry. I picked her up and looked at her hand. The kid had bitten my dd!! After 3 or 4 minutes kissing my dd (who never actually cried), I said to the boy, "you really, really hurt the baby!" I was so worried about my dd, I couldn't think of anything coherent to say to this kid.

For the past 48 hours, I've felt like I somehow failed my dd. She needed to hear me tell this kid no more firmly. To let him know biting isn't okay, and to let her know when something bad happens, it's okay to cry. I feel like the biggest mommy failure. My dd's hand is still all pink with bite marks (luckily the skin wasn't broken). It makes me sad and so angry every time I see it. Sad

My "worst mommy ever" story happened 17 years ago. DS was about 8 months old, sleeping in his crib in our house in NC. His room was on the second floor; the master bedroom was on the first floor. He woke up screaming in the middle of the night. Bleary eyed, I didn't turn on the light, just looked at him from the nightlight. I checked his diaper, felt his head for fever, didn't see anything wrong, gave him a little Tylenol for his teeth, and put him back in his crib. An hour later, he was screaming again.

This time, I turned on the light.

And saw that his crib was crawling with the army ants that had swarmed up the side of the house, into his window, up into his crib, and had bitten him all over. I guess they were attracted by the smell of the cheerios in his diaper bag or something, but I don't know.

It still gives me the chills to think about it.

I once found my son sleeping right outside the bathroom, crouched over, waiting to be wiped...