Daddy vs Abba/Tatte

Posted: Thu, Oct 01 2009, 6:51 am Post subject: Daddy vs Abba/Tatte

My father is a Daddy. My husband's father is a daddy. My husband's grandfather was a daddy. When our baby was born 1 1/2 yrs ago, it was unspoken that dh would be a daddy. Now that she's in gan, we're starting to wonder if this is a bad idea. All of her "friends" fathers are Abbas and the ganenet refers to father as Abba (shabbos-Abba, etc.)

I don't want my kids to be the odd ones out with a different (maybe even perceived as modern by Israelis) name for their father than all their friends. Sometimes, dd even comes home from gan calling him Abba (although mostly she calls him daddy)

Is this a real concern? Is it enough of a reason to change over to Abba? We want to be here for as long as we can (parnassah permitting), but can't say that we'll be here forever. We may end up back in America (in which case Daddy would be fine and preferred for us).

Do you think it would be a problem changing to Abba now - my daughter would definitely pick it up quickly, but right now she knows him as daddy. I don't want to cause any "identity crises" for her with her father...

Posted: Thu, Oct 01 2009, 7:52 am Post subject: re: Daddy vs Abba/Tatte

My DH is Tatty. Our kids know that he is their abba (father). Other kids don't care what their friends call their parents. I don't think it's an issue. Although I don't know any Israeli kids who say Daddy. I hear Abba, Tatty, Papi.
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Gold Member Joined: Mar 16 2009 Posts: 2291

I grew up in Israel and the US, and while my dad was always Aba, I knew to call him my dad when speaking to friends. My mom was sometimes Ima and sometimes mommy and it worked out just fine. As long as kids know what the local word means it's no big deal.

Posted: Thu, Oct 01 2009, 8:00 am Post subject:

kids use a variety ...

but we had the funniest issue with the dxh's son ... my kids call "daddy" his mother wanted "abba" - the next thing you know the little tyke was calling him "tatty-abba-daddy" ... I think he finally settled on one ...

don't forget some kids change the name as they get into their teenage years ... goes from mama to mother, or mommy to mom ...

stick to what feels good to you ...
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Posted: Thu, Oct 01 2009, 8:35 am Post subject: re: Daddy vs Abba/Tatte

to the OP, its funny to see this as a thread because my father was abba so I always assumed that my child(ren) would call their father abba. well, my husband called his father dad and wanted to be called daddy. in the begining I cringed every time I thought that my daughter was going to call my husband daddy (and we are living in israel). as time went on (and my daughter who is 16 months) and she began to say sounds and now sort of says words, she has learnt that DH is daddy. I am sure that in gan they call father abba and she will learn that daddy = abba, but until she talks and says what SHE wants to call her father, its going to be daddy.

I dont think that you have to be concerned. you will just teach your child that daddy and abba are the same thing.

Posted: Thu, Oct 01 2009, 8:53 am Post subject:

Do what you feel comfortable with, but don't be surprised if the kids change. I was always Mommy, I still call myself mommy, but guess what my kids (including the 19 month old who is NOT in gan) call me? You got it, Ima.
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Moderator Joined: Dec 04 2005 Posts: 6172 Location: israel

I wouldn't worry about it.

The kids might change on their own as others said to Abba.

It was clear dh was going to Abba. I decided on Ima, even though my mother is "Mommy," but I did feel like part of me wanted to be Mommy. Anyway, ds decided that I'm "Mommy." (I think he just heard that around, being in English mishpacton). When I came to pick him up recently, and the gannenet said "who's that", he said Ima. So, he may just switch back anyway...

Posted: Thu, Oct 01 2009, 12:42 pm Post subject: re: Daddy vs Abba/Tatte

I agree -- the kids will do what they feel comfortable with in their surroundings and may switch back and forth...

DH was always Abba since the kids were born, but I've always called myself Mommy and DD1 called me Mommy until she was about 4 or 5, and then switched to Ema (a couple of years before we made aliyah, must have been something she picked up in school)...I don't remember if DD2 ever called me Mommy or just started with Ema, but both of them have thought it was funny when watching old home videos and hearing DD1 call me Mommy...
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DD2: April 29, 2004
DS: November 20, 2009

Posted: Thu, Oct 01 2009, 12:45 pm Post subject:

Add Papi to the mix. Benny calls my DH Daddy but knows that other ppl use Totty, Aba and Papi. Once in a while he will call DH Totty or Papa but there's really no confusion. He knows they all mean the same thing.

Gold Member Joined: Jul 07 2009 Posts: 1727

I know a number of pple here in Israel who call the father Daddy

Posted: Thu, Oct 01 2009, 5:09 pm Post subject: re: Daddy vs Abba/Tatte

My kids all call their father daddy and they are all Israeli born and bred. No problem.
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Diamond Member Joined: Feb 02 2006 Posts: 4769

DD mostly calls DH Abba and me Ima, but once she started in pre-school last year she learned that most kids use Mommy and Daddy and therefore will go back and forth.

Posted: Thu, Oct 01 2009, 6:16 pm Post subject: re: Daddy vs Abba/Tatte

I don't think there's any need to change. My dh and all his siblings grew up in Israel and don't call their parents abba and ima. Even now, dd has a grandpa and zeidie and no "saba" - not a problem.

I don't think switching would be a problem either, kids get that abba means daddy means tatty etc at a pretty young age. Basically - whatever you and your dh prefer.

Gold Member Joined: Oct 27 2006 Posts: 2416 Location: NY

my father is abba, my father in law is tatty and DH is daddy. For the longest time my DS called my FIL tatty. My MIL told him to "go ask tatty" because there's a tatty in their house (and she had a hard time referring DH as "daddy") and my son ran to my FIL instead of DH.