DD's school says unless we medicate she cant come back.

The school calls her problem impulsivity.

She's in High School and we have no other options of other regular High Schools. We recently started with a new psychologist, and things seem to be going well. School says, therapy alone takes too long to see a change in personality. They say we have to medicate now. Psychologist says any change in personality takes time.

If we'd medicate, I'd never know if this highly rated Psychologist could have had success without Meds.

We'd like school to decide with therapist on how to proceed. They want Meds now without discussion with the therapist.

What are we supposed to do? Any ideas?

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 10 2006 Posts: 6566

Who is "they"? The Hanhola? How can they have the knowledge to determine if meds are necessary?
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I dont exactly understand your issue.
Let me make sure:
YOU dont want her medicated,
the school DOES.
She is seeing a psychologist (not a psychiatrist) - who (I just asked a psychologist -I am assuming this is accurate) in 96% of the US, cannot prescribe drugs - that privilege is limited to Psychiatrists and Psychiatric PAs and NPs. (except in Louisiana and New Mexico)

It is a private school so obviously they set whatever guidelines they want in terms of behavior (ie: "we are a very pro discipline school, and so if you dont raise your hand, you are suspended. dont like it? go to public school." or-what doesnt even seem unreasonable to many of us - "tzniyus is our priority. sleeves above your elbows will get you expelled, whether you were wearing such a shirt inside or outside of school. no ifs not buts. dont like it ? go to public school").

But IDK if they are allowed to force you to medicate your child.

to provide documentation that she is undergoing treatment? and for them to have a requirement of what her "improvement" should be? yes, and yes again. But specifying HOW the therapist (either a psychologist or a psychiatrist) should be treating her - unless the principlal himself has a PhD or MD after his name, he is out of line.

in terms of ideas:
1) find a psychologist or psychiatrist who is NOT the "school psychologist" or "social worker" (is said person EVEN a licensed health professional? many times they are not...Ive heard of like MSW students who are taking off time or whatever and offer counseling services for el cheapo under the radar)
2) get yourself a lawyer.
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"The Chillul Hashem of a few individuals ...encourages the desecration of Torah learning. To defraud and exploit our fellowmen, Jew or gentile, to conspire, to betray the government ...are hideous crimes"
- Selected Writings, R' Shimon Schwab

The school's position is that being that she's been impulsive in the past (chutzpah), and even though we are using an extremely successful and professional psychologist right now, who we recently became aware of, for DD to start school unmedicated, is too much to ask of them, because with therapy alone it takes too long to see a change in personality. They think she needs to atleast be medicated slightly to avoid problems, before therapy can kick in in a noticeable way.

They claim more than 10% of school age kids are on medication. If it's so widespread why are people hesitant to admit it?

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 12 2007 Posts: 20503

I am not a teacher, and I am very anti meds, but you have to see their side: they dont have the koach to deal with issues now, and the koach to see if therapy makes a diff. public school has systems in place to deal with issues; many private jewish schools do not. they arent equipped to handle unmedicated children with issues.
again, I am anti meds BUT my opinion is that if you want your child in that school, you must play by their rules. I would continue therapy, and not medicate (per dr. of course) on weekends and hoidays and ssummer.
and I think the 10% estimate of number of kids medicated is LOW.
btdt with one kid. in Jewish schools, you must toe the line.

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 10 2006 Posts: 6566

I just don't see where they have the knowledge to make a decision like that. Unless they ARE psychiatrists, how can they know meds will help and even if they are necessary?

I think the best thing OP can do is load herself with statements from real experts, her dd's doctors, etc. anda lawyer. It just doesn't make sense for laymen to be making these decisions. Sure, they want what's best for the school, but how can they know meds are what's goign to help. They are not trained/licensed to treat or diagnose such treatment.

Moderator Joined: Dec 18 2008 Posts: 3612

OP, what country are you in?

Posted: Fri, Sep 04 2009, 9:35 am Post subject:

amother, where are you located?
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�Floss only the teeth you want to keep.�

Posted: Fri, Sep 04 2009, 9:58 am Post subject:

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 10 2006 Posts: 6566

I AM a teacher and my husband is a psychiatrist. I showed him this thread abd we had the same response: follows ss321's advice.

Posted: Mon, Sep 07 2009, 8:08 pm Post subject:

Amother, I hope I can help with me suggestions. sending you a basketful of hugs.

Yikes. Well it sounds like you answered your own question. It seems to me you can toe the line with this principal. Or switch her schools. Once I switched after the yomimtovim for one of my kids. I went to the second school and discussed it with them and got her accepted (on probation), went back to the first school and withdrew her and made the switch. It actually Baruch Hashem went very well! My child really did want to switch. Hatzlacha Rabba.

Gold Member Joined: Jul 11 2008 Posts: 1897

Switching school in the middle of the year is preferable to putting up with this type of school. But do you have another school that is willing to accept your DD?

Posted: Mon, Sep 07 2009, 9:31 pm Post subject: