Am I a bad mother? re: crying a bedtime

ever since my son has been sleeping through the night (at 10 1/2 months when we let him CIO), he usually goes to sleep relatively easily. here and there he cries, but usually not for long.
well, the past week or two, he's really not been himself! at bedtime (and many naptimes, too) he's been crying and crying. I don't know what to do!! I don't think he needs less sleep - he's been sleeping many times later in the mornign when going to sleep late. he still takes a nap.
last night he was crying and crying and my husband took him out...let him join us at the seuda for an hour...and then he went to sleep with only a little fussing.
Tonight after he was crying for about 20 minutes, I layed down with him on a mattress in his room....after another 20 min I left him there, but he got up. so I put him in his crib...crying....about 5 minutes and now he's quiet...but an hour after his bedtime!!
It's probably because he wants to stay up and play...but what should I do? just let him cry it out? or spoil him by taking him out?? I tried toys, bottles - he throws them out of the crib..!!
help me!
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Senior Member Joined: Mar 08 2006 Posts: 159

Firstly, you are not a bad mom!
How old is your baby? My boys (twins..15 months old..) do the same thing sometimes, if you give into him by taking him out when he cries he's gonna realize that he can get his way by crying... what I do is, I keep the door of their room a lil open so that they know that 'mommy is still there' and give them a book to read or I lay next to them, until they fall asleep. I don't say anything or look at them just lay there... that seems to work the best.I have some other ideas if you are interested pm me and ill be glad to help you further! Good Luck!! Laughing

Platinum Member Joined: May 16 2005 Posts: 6262

after making sure he doesn't have a dirty diaper and isn't hungry, cold hot etc... I think if he cries alot go in ever five or ten minutes. dont take him out just hug him and kiss him.. maybe put on some music... ua can try singing to him... I personally used to rock my baby in the stroller to music if she couldn't fall asleep and it worked! But whatever works for u.... my point is that if there are other ways your son can falls asleep without crying so much I think thats good too.

Executive Member Joined: Aug 27 2004 Posts: 265

double-- how old is your son?
u should let him cry but not too much-]
I had a similar experience last night -- my son kept coming out of his crib so we locked our door & he just stood there by the door for about an hour crying-- until a neighboor knocked on the door & said he wanted to just make sure "there was a parent home"! @ that point I realized that my "plan" (of him eventually giving up & falling asleep) was NOT working. I also felt like a really bad mother!
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Executive Member Joined: Aug 27 2004 Posts: 265

sorry I meant brachavehatzlacha-- how old is your son?

Letting a tired kid with a clean diaper who is not hungry and nothing bothering them cry it out because they don't want to go to sleep is a good mother, you know they need their sleep. Teaching them how to manipulate you with crying is not a good thing.

Platinum Member Joined: May 16 2005 Posts: 6262

not always does caring for the crying child manipulation! when my daughter cries alot it is usually because she isnt feeling well... also, some times babies need the comfort in knowing thier parents have disappeared. I think its good to lay with the child.. or at least come check on them aevery once in a while so they wont be scared.

Posted: Sat, Mar 18 2006, 10:09 pm Post subject:

my son is 20 months old.
he knows I'm here - I call to him, "shluffy time" but he keeps crying. if I go check on him, to comfort him, he usually cries harder!!
should I get him a nightlight?

Platinum Member Joined: May 16 2005 Posts: 6262

u can get him a nightlight, why not? whatever will work....! also, do u put on music for him? he might like that..

Posted: Sat, Mar 18 2006, 10:27 pm Post subject:

that's a good idea. I've tried putting on music on from the other room, but I should really get a little taperecorder for his room, too...

Gold Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 1859

There is this great crib toy that I've used with 3 of my kids and had very very little bed time crying. I think it's made by Fisher Price and it looks like a little aquarium you attach to the crib rail. It glows like a night light, the water bubbles, and plays very soothing music. The child can push a big button on the front to start the music himself. We got it b/c of bedtime problems, and it was like magic. DH and I were giving each other high fives the first night we tried it out with our second son.
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Platinum Member Joined: May 16 2005 Posts: 6262

ya I have it too.. my baby loves it!

Diamond Member Joined: Dec 30 2004 Posts: 3194

My baby loved his mobile, the one that plays classical music! he loved the music so much we took off the mobile part and left the music box

Posted: Sun, Mar 19 2006, 11:43 am Post subject:

what age is the aquariam for?
thanks for all your ideas!
he's too old for a mobile, cuz he'll pull on it.

Did you check his ears for an ear infection? Whenever my children start crying at night for no apparent reason I get their ears checked and it's almost always an ear infection. For some reason, it hurts more at night when they lie down.

Executive Member Joined: Aug 27 2004 Posts: 265

amother it s not as s"cary" as locking the kid in their room--which I would never do

Platinum Member Joined: May 16 2005 Posts: 6262

I dont know what age its for but my baby is 13 months and loves it

Executive Member Joined: Aug 27 2004 Posts: 265

can s/1 post a link showing this toy??

Posted: Sun, Mar 19 2006, 10:37 pm Post subject:

firstly, I doubt it's an ear infection. when he had them, he had fever. Also, he starts crying BEFORE the crib, when he knows it's bedtime b/c he doesn't want to go!

Today I tried music. I put on his favorite tape (Torah Island - he listens to it over and over and over..) and I think it really helped!! at least tonight!! hopefully it'll continue..!!!
thanks, gals!