My baby doesn't sleep - night or day unless being held. HELP

Platinum Member Joined: May 06 2007 Posts: 8512

What can I do? 3 month ds, will only sleep when held. Not in the car. Not in the stroller. Not in the swing. Etc. Only when held. If I do somehow manage to get him to sleep, it's either wrapped up or he wakes up after a few minutes.

What can I do? What baby doesn't sleep in the car????

So basically, he's either wrapped or attached to me. My back is killing from him being in my bed. HELP!
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Just Plain Frum!

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 10 2006 Posts: 6561

BH I've not had this with my own, but for 2 friends:

Friend 1: child(ren) grew out of this ~4 mos.

Friend 2: Child was overtired and really wanted to sleep on tummy (which she hadn't been letting, and the result was overtired baby she had to carry around constantly). She let him sleep on his tummy, and everyone was happy.
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Platinum Member Joined: May 06 2007 Posts: 8512

He would love to sleep on his tummy, I'm sure, but I won't allow it either. I can't bear for that to be on my conscience, if chas v'shalom anything were to happen.

oysh, that's hard mimi. Your baby is still really young, so it could just be a loooong, difficult stage at this point.

Don't know if you're into swaddling, but I have heard great things about The Woombie helping babies sleep in bassinets/cribs, etc.

hatzlacha and hope your achin' back feels better soon.
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"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why its called "the present."

Silver Member Joined: Jul 28 2008 Posts: 687

what about swaddling? will he sleep if swaddled?
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Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

Platinum Member Joined: May 06 2007 Posts: 8512

Yeah, we swaddle him (I wrote wrap up, but I meant swaddle) I just don't want to have to do this forever. As it is, his doc. doesn't believe in swaddling after a week or so.

I will insert my crunchy, granola opinion here. Have you considered using a baby carrier (not a bjorn, snuggli or the like) -- the simpler, more unconstructed type, like a pouch, ring sling or wrap? At least then you can get stuff done, carry the baby and let him/her sleep too. I find that some babies need that warmth and movement to sleep really well. Yes, you can (if you choose) to gradually wean them from being in it all/most of the time. PM me if you have questions.

Hatzlacha!

A bunch of thoughts for you. See if anything resonates --

- Some babies are gassy after feeding but feel OK while they're held, then when put down they "realize" they need to burp and they wake up (so then you are back to square one). In that case, when your baby wakes up, hold him and try to help him burp, then let him fall back asleep on you (because it works) and put him down again. Hopefully he will sleep for a while!

- Similar concept: At that age, your baby might well be teething, and feels comforted when you are holding him, but realizes he's in pain once you put him down and he is roused from sleep a bit. Maybe try a homeopathic teething remedy.

- You are warm and soft and cozy Very Happy

and the crib or bed probably isn't. Try putting a fuzzy blanket or sheepskin on the bed. When you put your baby down, while you are still holding/touching him, pull a blanket around his body (not his face) and make it more like a cozy nest. Then ease your hands away from him (and tiptoe away while holding your breath Very Happy

). Hopefully your baby will keep that "held" feeling this way.

- Make sure there's white noise in the room where you are trying to put your baby down. A fan works well (and also helps prevent SIDS, apparently, by keeping the air circulating in the room, so carbon dioxide doesn't build up near the baby's face). The noise helps "smooth out" the transition when you put the baby down, so little movements and noises aren't so noticeable.

- Make sure the room where baby is sleeping is not too cold or hot.

Hope something here might be of use to you, or to someone else reading this.

One other thought -- maybe try this kind of bassinet (it's expensive, but maybe you can find one to borrow for a while?):

Amby Baby Hammock

Gold Member Joined: Nov 22 2006 Posts: 1733

DONT BASH ME.. I had this w dd.. it was caused by severe overtiredness.. when she turned 4 months we did CIO..I would still go in 1 oe 2 x a night to feed her cuz I felt like she needed it but other than that no.. and let me tell you within a week she was a much happier baby.. more smiley and attentive and able to enjoy the world around her.. CIO is tough especially @ such a young age but for dd that was the only option
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Platinum Member Joined: Sep 11 2004 Posts: 19241

My babies (well, the last 3) all did this when they weren't feeling well. Eventually the stage passed, except with my last, I had to wait for a good time to re-train him to sleep in the crib. That took at least a few months, and it was crazy, but we made it through, BH.

Good luck. I have pity on your arms and back.
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Gold Member Joined: May 19 2006 Posts: 1682

if swaddling works, why not stick with it? who cares if doc believes in it or not? I swaddled for a few months and baby was very happy. Eventually, he just decided one day that he does not want to be swaddled anymore (I think at around 6 months) and that was it. But before that, he ALWAYS slept swaddled. I figured it didnt harm anyone, so why not?

Gold Member Joined: May 19 2006 Posts: 1682

oh, I also forgot, he slept in the baby swing too (we have the baby papasan cradle fisher price swing). This is the only other way he would sleep without being swaddled or held. I actually have a friend whose baby slept in it all night because the kid just would NOT sleep any other way.

Posted: Mon, Jun 01 2009, 2:50 am Post subject:

I still swaddle she is 3 months she sleeps much better like this

with swaddling/wrapping, you wont be doing it forever. with my daughter, we wrapped her and she herself, after a while, just took her arms out. when babies learn to move around, the wrapping becomes sort of a mute point becuase they wont stay wrapped, but I second the wrapping bit. who cares what your doc says, really? if it is something that works for you, then do it and you need a few hours sleep here and there or else your going to go nuts.

Diamond Member Joined: May 26 2008 Posts: 2613

DD acted similarly when she wasn't getting enough to eat. She did sleep at night but the night kept getting later and later.

definetly swaddle. there is nothing wrong with it..according to my doc anyways. I was also worried about how id get them out of it but when they were ready, we all knew.. I swaddled until close to 6 months for bedtime AND naps.

Senior Member Joined: Oct 07 2005 Posts: 166

I would swaddle DD needed to be held for almost 9 months - she did have refulx though so that was part of it.... but I learned to wear her - I got a wrap - basically a long piece of fabric that I tied in different ways and she LOVED that! and I could get things done etc... I found the carriers like snuggli etc don't give them the warmth and closeness some need...
Just stick it out - in terms of sleep - you can have baby in bed and put towels around or something to have as a divider... I just put dd in a pack and play right beside my bed and she was fine... she just needed to be close.
With her though I NEVER got more than about 20 min naps.. she just needed less sleep.
Don't worry it won't last forever.
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If Hashem brought you to it
He will bring you through it

Posted: Tue, Jun 02 2009, 12:51 pm Post subject:

Eli sleeps SO much better on his tummy. I make sure there are no spit rags or blankets in the bassinet and the bassinet is right next to me during the day so I can keep an eye on him.

At night I have a wedge pressed back and tummy so he's on his side.
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