I hate Purim

Executive Member Joined: Dec 18 2008 Posts: 481

I really dislike Purim. I have no imagination and I end up sending the nebbiest mishloach manos in the neighborhood. To top it all off, my husband gets drunk. I'm thinking of disappearing this year.

Posted: Wed, Jan 28 2009, 12:06 am Post subject: re: I hate Purim

Oh, don't feel that way! Although many creative ideas are being shared here, you are certainly not alone in feeling "un-creative." Wink

Anyway, I don't think people care THAT much about how creative the shalach manos are. Even though people do appreciate the cute and creative ones, ultimately they're all appreciated because it's really the thought behind it that counts. In terms of the husband getting drunk part, I'm sure you're in good company there too. At least it's only this once Confused

Look at the bright side; try to enjoy other people's creativity, cute costumes, creative shalach manos and yummy food. Good luck Very Happy

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 01 2005 Posts: 17094

What! I never make a theme. I bake hand-mixed cookies, put sprinkles on them, buy a small jam or miniature fruits/chocolates, and put them in a bag with grape juice! Dont be hard on yourself.
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Posted: Wed, Jan 28 2009, 12:21 am Post subject:

1-warn dh not to drink for the sake of his family

2-it's all attitute. Prepare all stuff in advance so you don't have pressure. You can even start now. We love purim here! I already ordered my stuff online.

3-You don't have to make a theme. Good nosh is appreciated by all. You can color theme if you really want a theme.
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Platinum Member Joined: Jan 23 2008 Posts: 9074

I thought I was the only one who "hated" Purim! My DH doesn't get drunk (only once, right after DD got engaged & he got plastered with SIL to be & HIS friends!!!) but it's so much hype. All the money that we spent every year on making cute or fancy or themed SM we now give to different organizations. I never realized it mounted up, into hundreds of $$. My friends & I have a deal. We don't give to each other. They don't need my junk & I don't need theirs! We just give the minimum & anyone who comes to the door gets a poem & a $ (I'm talking kids.) It was different when our kids were young.

This year I'YH I'll be in England with DD, my DS, & my Mom. Yippee!! DH will go to DD's for the seuda & have a good time with our other grandchildren.

Posted: Wed, Jan 28 2009, 1:10 am Post subject: re: I hate Purim

I enjoy making cute (but cheap) shalach manos when I have the time and energy for it. But I basically do it because it makes it more fun for my kids and they get into it.

If it were up to me, I would do the bare minimum mitzvah (and have certainly done just that some years). You can take the pressure off yourself by keeping in mind exactly what the mitzvahs of Purim are, and do what you need to in order to fulfill those.

I don't know whether or not you have kids, but if you don't, then definitely do not worry about being cute.

If you do have kids and they are very young, you also don't have to worry about being cute, because they won't know or care.

If you have older kids, you can put them in charge of shalach manos or they can at least do cuter stuff for their friends.

I always try to keep in mind that when the day is over, it's over, and whatever it was is what it was. (That makes sense to me...)

Posted: Wed, Jan 28 2009, 3:52 am Post subject:

I totally sympathize! I have gotten to doing simple things in some kind of container - a container of cookies and a small chocolate milk or coffe taped on; a container of salad with crackers and such - no poem, no theme, no cuteness. I still find it super pressuring....

Posted: Wed, Jan 28 2009, 7:11 am Post subject: re: I hate Purim

I refuse to allow myself to be pressured. I make whatever comes to my mind (actually, I alternate between two kinds of mishloach manos) and whoever doesn't like what I send doesn't have to eat it. Luckily, I live in a place where few people feel the need to outshine others or be super creative.

I even think that this year I'll only dress up my child who's old enough to know about costumes - and he wants to be a king like he was the past two years, so I already have the costume. Very Happy

Whoever doesn't think that's creative enough doesn't have to look at him.

Posted: Wed, Jan 28 2009, 8:00 am Post subject: re: I hate Purim

My favorite part of purim is the seuda. I make my kids costumes because I enjoy it and they love it, but I give a very simple mm because that's all that's required. Purim is not about how to top the other person. As for your dh getting drunk...

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48223

If you really don't enjoy Purim in your town, hospitals really appreciated visitors at this time. I have set up such mivtzoim in the past.

And Chabad Houses could use the help.

PM me if you need ideas.

Posted: Wed, Jan 28 2009, 2:40 pm Post subject: re: I hate Purim

Those are great ideas, Chocolate Moose.

Posted: Wed, Jan 28 2009, 2:59 pm Post subject: re: I hate Purim

hate it too .
hate when dh gets drunk, scared he will embarrass himself (ie. me) I dont want ppl thinking hes stupid.
dont like sitting through megilla...
last year was great, friday..over and done with before you can think of getting annoyed. I think ill disappear too.
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Gold Member Joined: Jan 16 2008 Posts: 1831

I stay home on Purim. With no kids its such an awful time. Plus I had a m/c on Purim a few years ago. It just depresses me so much.

Posted: Wed, Jan 28 2009, 3:21 pm Post subject: re: I hate Purim

I hate having to go to the second megilla reading. last year my shul decided not to have a women's laining during the day. I ran around like a chicken without a head trying to find one because my kids got me off schedule...

since the kids were born I show up late to the family seudah. I hate that. and I hate that I missed meeting all my new neighbors last year because I was at the ultra-late megilla reading in another neighborhood.

what I really hate is that I am careful not to bring my kids to megilla so they don't cause problems for other people. then I go to the women's reading and the women BRING THEIR LITTLE KIDS!!!! why is my hearing the megilla less important than anyone else's?

LADIES, LEAVE THE KIDS AT HOME WITH YOUR HUSBANDS! TELL THEM THEY MAY NOT DRINK ALCOHOL UNTIL AFTER YOU HEAR MEGILLA! thank you.

Diamond Member Joined: May 24 2007 Posts: 4658

op I can relate. I really try not to but I don't like purim.

I like order - purim is the opposite. My husband drinks (it's a mitzva after all) and with my worry about him and taking care of everything else myself as he isn't capable of doing anything - it's not much fun in my opinion.
last purim I heard shiurim on how important it is to make purim fun for kids so I tried not to let them get my attitude and to try to enjoy it - but honestly I can't wait until purim is over.
I don't do anything special with mishloach manos - I just buy something simple. - and if anyone doesn't like it too bad....

Posted: Wed, Jan 28 2009, 3:56 pm Post subject: re: I hate Purim

I would probably enjoy purim a lot if it wasn't such a busy day for me. We arrange a big costume party sfter megilla in the evening and then a catered seuda the next day. even though the last few years we've hired a chef to do the cooking there are always last minute things to get.

I'd love to just relax and enjoy the day and take the kids around in their costumes to give mm.

Diamond Member Joined: Feb 20 2007 Posts: 4468

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 01 2005 Posts: 17094

Strudel, I hated Purim pre-kids too. I used to go to the nursing home to cheer up the old folks, or I'd be my mother's shlach monos delivery lady... just to pass the time...

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 23 2008 Posts: 9074

For those who knew & loved him it's Shimshon's Yartzheit Purim...2 years, I believe. Crying or Very sad

G-d broke the mold when He made Martha & Shimshon A"H.

There are a couple of Marthas (Mattie) & Shimshons B"H. Very Happy

Moderator Joined: Dec 26 2005 Age: 33 Posts: 11430

I like purim. I don't worry about making MM. Instead, we send out donation cards to most of our friends and just make a couple of simple MM for the mitzvah. It's totally stress-free.

We have a nice potluck seuda with some of our friends and it's always fun. Plus, I like drinking, so it's nice to have a day where it's accepted to drink.

My key to a fun Purim is concentrating on the seudah, not the MM. I can do what I want and make it an event that I'll enjoy.

FTR, I don't enjoy receiving lame themed MM. I'd much prefer good food instead of crummy food that's used to tie together a dumb theme.