Charging money for those with no money

What do you do when you're providing service (in my case, a gan) for people and they arent able to pay you on time because they dont have the money, because it was a hard month or whatever?
I am stuck in this position, because I really do need the money, but we're not desperate for money for food because we do have the ability to go into minus on our account if push comes to shove.
Like, I really need the money. We've been living off rice and beans (only) for the past little bit, my husband hasnt gotten glasses that he desperately needs because we just dont have the extra couple hundred shekel to spend on glasses...
But how can I demand money from someone who pashut doesnt have it? Do I tell them that they should take out a loan so they can pay me on time? Do I make them not have money for food because I need the money?

Whats the right thing to do?

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 20 2006 Posts: 5705

It's a tough situation for which I don't have an answer. It's also uncomfortable on your part to need to tell a parent you need it.
Only thing I could think of for next year is to say at the outset you know situations crop up and in the past payments have not been on time from parents in previous years but you cannot accept such situations. If they sign up to your gan it means payments on time. You would like to avoid any uncomfortable situations etc.

You have to push for it anyways, IMO. You can't save the world. I know that sounds mean but I had a similar issue and DH pointed that we still need to take care of ourselves. You can obviously ask for it in a nice way, but stressing you really need the money.

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 20 2006 Posts: 5705

Also I do think you can make some type of deadline. Like you aren't being crazy and not coming in their direction at all (though I don't think that is crazy. how someone can assume you don't need to get paid on time, I don't know...) But you also don't have to say ok pay me whenever... this month you are 3 wks late, next time 5 wks late. You can say I need it by x time. Think about it in reverse. Would you not feel weird endlessly not paying your kid's caretaker?

I would ask them can they give u some of it now,and when will they be able to pay u the rest.
ask them are they able to pay u for the following month?if the answer is they dont know,then they have to make arrangements for childcare w/someone else.as someone already said u can't save the world.
I think its ok to ask these questions.

if they dont have the money just for this month,do they have something to barter the amount(bc I live here also,I understand your problem).

it wasnt like that. these people gave me checks and they bounced... so I should tell them to take out a loan and pay me? I feel wrong, because we do have money for food now. the specific issue is even if we have money now, we wont be having it in the future bec circumstances have changed and we wont be making the same amount anymore even...

Posted: Fri, Nov 07 2008, 7:00 am Post subject:

Then tell them that you need the payment they owe and if the next month's check also bounces you're going to have to consider not allowing the child(ren) back.
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Posted: Fri, Nov 07 2008, 7:01 am Post subject:

Posted: Fri, Nov 07 2008, 7:06 am Post subject:

You have to insist on it. You are not running a tzedaka, and you never claimed to be. The mother sending the child has to take this into account. No one forced her to send him/her.

Something else - I have learned in life, that the fact people come crying and telling you they have no money does not necessarily correspond to if they are better/ worse off than anyone else. Sometimes the people who are the worst off feel morally/ halachically obliged to pay you (as they should) and don't buy necessary food, clothing etc in order to pay. And others used up their money on a new outfit for yomtov they couldn't afford, and now haven't got anything left to pay you. And who says they are worse off than you are? Let one, one month, and you can close your gan.

If this family haven't got the money, let them go and borrow it from someone able to lend it to them - a friend, a relative, a gemach. If not - the child leaves the gan. Sorry, I used to be naive too. (I am not trying to be mean, just to tell you I have seen it all, among frum people too.) You will probably discover that if you push them, they will pay you (as they do to anyone who demands it and they have no choice). Or they will take their child out and you can take someone who pays instead.

I will tell you a story. In my building no one is rich. Some are in kolel, some have very large families (all kinds, chassidim, litvish, sephardim). When I was va'ad habayit, there were 5 families who always paid on time, 4 who paid after a kvetch, and 1 who always said they don't have the money/ they can't pay etc etc. So what happened? The other 9 families basically became a gemach for this 1 family, since we had to pay more so that there would be money in the kuppa for bills. I can assure you that the other 9 families were not in a financial position to do so. Meanwhile, family 10 were subscribed to a daily paper, the father smokes etc. (I am no longer VB so I don't know what happens now.)
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It depends why they don't have money. If it's a good, temporary reason (house just burned down, three kids got married in one month, illness or death, etc) I'd let it slide for a while. If they regularly don't have money, you'll need to set rules.

Maybe you could make a deal like, for those who pay by the 5th of the month it's 2,000 shekels, for those who pay after the 5th it's 2,100. Some small fine for paying late that would encourage people to come up with the money on time. Then only those who really don't have would pay late (and hopefully have a small taste of what it's like to lose money b/c they didn't plan ahead, instead of you being the only one suffering), those who don't mind the fine will pay late and you'll have an extra 100 shekels, and those who just didn't bother making a serious effort to pay might decide to start doing so.

Remember, it's not a volunteer service. If you want to volunteer, you can set aside one slot for a family that needs daycare and can't afford it, but set limits. For your sake and your family's sake you can't let people take advantage of you.

And a kid whose parents regularly don't pay can be worse than nothing from the ganenet's perspective, because every kid in the gan is taking time and energy to care for, and takes a slot that could otherwise be offered to someone who's willing to pay.

Posted: Fri, Nov 07 2008, 7:17 am Post subject:

Diamond Member Joined: May 26 2008 Posts: 2613

be careful of ribis though

Posted: Fri, Nov 07 2008, 7:20 am Post subject: