Do you restrict your kids food intake for financial reasons?

amother

Calendula

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 1:06 pm

amother Narcissus wrote:

Yes - in my opinion as it is essentially jam mixed with yogurt.

Very high sugar content and there are better ways for children or adults to get dairy in terms of nutrition.

You can mix yogurt with frozen fruit - for example - and have a really delicious much healthier dairy and fruit "snack". I mention frozen fruit because when it defrosts it gets mushy and is generally sweeter than a lot of fresh fruit. And defrosted fruit generally has fruit liquid which is also very sweet.

Bananas are a naturally very sweet fruit to add to yogurt.

I really think your mindset is unhealthy for kids.
All your restrictions and rigidly is going to mess with your kids.
Please rethink your approach or reach out to someone you respect for advice.
No child should be restricted like this.
I know someone like you IRL and all her kids have unhealthy mindsets with eating. It’s a pity.
Dinner shouldn’t have any restrictions. Let growing kids eat.

amother

Calendula

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 1:08 pm

amother Narcissus wrote:

If you are feeding your child the equivalent of half a chicken, you are teaching them that abnormally large portions are normal

Adjusting portion sizes to what is considered to be normal isn't restricting food but educating kids in terms of how to eat appropriately.

Are they really hungry after a balanced meal consisting of a chicken breast or equivalent portion of animal protein); a large helping of vegetables and some form of starch in a reasonable quantity

This is crazy. You don’t restrict chicken.
So unhealthy for kids.
I really feel bad for your kids.
Let a kid eat as much chicken as they want.
It takes an emotional toll to know you can only have a certain amount. If you let a kid feel like they can eat what they need they will regulate themselves.
Candy is a different story but chicken?!?

amother

Calendula

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 1:13 pm

amother Oleander wrote:

I was restricted as a child.
4 meatballs but if you're still hungry, doubles of spaghetti and carrot sticks.

1 drumstick at the Shabbos table but rice and potatoes and kugel.

Personally I feel like it really messed with my metabolism and ability to eat healthy
I struggled with my weight my whole life.
Yet my instinct is still heavy on the carbs because it's cheap and low on

I work very hard to do differently for my kids, even if it means more expensive food bills.

Parents, who restrict food, read this and take it to heart.
Hugs, oleander. Im sorry you had to go through this.

Tzutzie

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 1:17 pm

No.
But I don't buy individual yogurts or other more expensive items often unless there is a specific need.

I do limit junk food though. My kids all have a sweet tooth and if I'd not limit it they'd eat that all day.

I don't buy many bakery items either. For $11, I'll get 10 soft bite cookies (we try to eat spelt).... whereas if I bake it it's I assume 60 cookies or more of the same size for those $10...
And GF, im not even getting into those prices... and they are all so so so full of junk. A simple cookie has so much sugar and chemical fillers. I'd rather they eat cheap cotton candy than those. So I try to I bake. Or she has chips. There are plenty healthy options that ate extremely tasty. But yes they are expensive. But too bad.

We only do expensive meat on rare occasions or yom tov. And I never restrict.
I make enough for one portion for everyone plus 2 extra. I'm always happy when there is just a drop of leftovers. That means everyone had enough. But I don't make too much so no waste.
And I'll often repurpose it the next night in a side dish or something.

My family of 6 eats 4- 5 pcs of chicken breast. That's 1- 1.25 pk. I'm not sure how one pk (4 pcs) can last 2-3 nights.
I usually have soup and 2 side dishes. Often dessert too. Still the chicken is the main part of the meal and is eaten the most.

Edited for the gazillion typos. I hope I fixed them all.

Last edited by Tzutzie on Thu, Apr 04 2024, 7:55 pm; edited 1 time in total

watergirl

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 1:20 pm

I just thought of another food thing we adjusted instead of restricting.

Some of my kids love to eat matza on pesach as a snack, maybe out of hunger, maybe out of boredom, depends on the kid. We asked our rav how to deal with this in regards to our finances and shalom (as these were largely my step kids and the last thing I wanted was for them to think I restricted what they could eat at my house!). We wanted them to be able to eat matza if they wanted, but we bought only hand shmurah. Our rav told us to buy machine shmurah for noshing and for non-YT meals. It saved us a tremendous amount of money and allowed us to have shalom.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 1:28 pm

amother Calendula wrote:

Parents, who restrict food, read this and take it to heart.
Hugs, oleander. Im sorry you had to go through this.

There's a difference between food and food. Sugar packed yogurt is dessert and not basic food.
Even in the food industry there are measures how much a portion of protein is supposed to be. If I order steak in a restaurant I don't get unlimited amount of steak unless I pay extra.

amother

Oleander

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 1:57 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Im the poster who was raised restricted.
If my child eats a quarter of chicken, a decent serving of mashed potatoes and a decent portion of string beans and then says he's still hungry and he wants more chicken.
The way I was raised was "no, chicken is expensive or a treat. Take more mashed potatoes, that's cheap".
That mentality messed with my brain, with my metabolism, with my relationship with food
Even if the child officially ate a full portion of protein. They're hungry. They're asking for chicken.
I'm ok with a parent saying no more steak, if you're hungry take chicken.
Steak is a treat.
But I just don't agree with turning plain chicken drumstick into a treat

Yes, ask for help to pay for it if you need.
Its your child's relationship with basic food.

amother

Trillium

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 2:04 pm

I don’t restrict any food at all. I want my kids to have a healthy relationship with food. I was brought up with only eating meals and no snacks ever.
I once went to someone’s house and the orange juice was only for the father. I thought it was so weird.
Everything in my house is allowed in whatever quantities they want.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 2:27 pm

I don't restrict healthy foods but there's a time and place for everything. You can have yogurt by breakfast but if you're hungry after supper, u can have a fruit or a vegetable.
I don't restrict protein unless I truly feel the child had enough to eat. Then I'll say wait 10 min, take a drink of water and then see if u still feel hungry. One of my young children comes home so hungry from school she can wolf down anything she looks at. 3 bowls pasta down the hatch if I don't stop her. And then complains after that her stomach hurts.
So I try to monitor what she's taking for seconds so she gets enough or even more than she probably really needs but she doesn't overeat.
So it's for her health really that I need to watch but also slightly for financial reasons because if she eats up all the extra food,, then dh doesn't have any left and will need to buy himself some takeout

amother

Carnation

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 2:43 pm

I don't buy expensive produce. If I do buy a "treat" like peaches, I will usually say one per child because otherwise one kid will eat five and leave none for anyone else. Same with treats like yogurt (sorry).

I will sometimes buy cucumbers on Wednesday and specify that they are for Shabbos. I usually will not allow a child to eat an entire English cucumber themselves, I'll tell them to eat a third.

I only make a certain number of pieces of chicken and you can take more if everyone has already had firsts. Right now I'm making one roll of gefilte fish for Shabbos and that's it. When it's done it's done, even though some of my kids could easily eat a quarter loaf themselves.

I understand that this feels restrictive. But fact is that many of us do have to restrict what we buy because of financial reasons. I cannot afford unlimited quantities.

My kids have big appetites and even the younger kids will easily eat adult-sized portions.

I make a lot of pareve meals (because they are cheaper) that the kids will eat, but I won't. So I'm the one that goes hungry.

It might be nice to all be wealthy enough to make the price of food irrelevant. But that's just not realistic.

In short, the answer is yes. Our food rule is "if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it," and there is always food to eat until satisfied, but as much as I'd love to, our rule is not "if we have it, you can eat it" (or better, "if you want it, I'll buy it for you to eat.")

amother

Bergamot

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 2:47 pm

One yogurt squeezie a day- if they want more yoghurt after that, go take a normal one.

One snack bag a day, other than that take a healthier snack (that’s equally health and money)

Other than that, our expensive foods are the proteins, and I don’t believe in limiting those.

amother

Carnation

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 2:55 pm

I'm curious, for all of those who advocate for allowing healthy food and protein in unlimited quantities, how would you feel about a family paying less tuition to provide for a bigger grocery budget?

I already know how much it would cost to have healthy food in unlimited quantity. I do that on Pesach. It's over three times our normal weekly food budget, even after excluding the cost of matzah, wine, and paper goods.

Something would have to give in order to make that happen.

amother

DarkGray

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:17 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

It's not "even" in the food industry. It's when you're buying stuff, the price is going to be for a specific amount. I am not a store, and when I am providing food for my family, it doesn't work the way a restaurant does.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:33 pm

amother Carnation wrote:

Your post is quite worrisome that you go hungry. Please reach out to food pantries or organizations.

amother

Carnation

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:38 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Your post is quite worrisome that you go hungry. Please reach out to food pantries or organizations.

It's my own problem. I'm a picky eater. Food pantries don't cater to picky eaters. You know, beggars can't be choosers.

And I have a moral issue with buying food that I will eat and not providing the same to my children. So if I can't afford meatballs for everyone, I'm not making meatballs just for me. Yes they will eat shakshuka, but they would probably like meatballs even more.

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:41 pm

amother Carnation wrote:

I 100% would advocate for a lower tuition . And I believe if the tuition committee knew of your circumstances they would advocate as well
Your post made me so sad.

Hashem should bless you with an abundance of Bracha that you never feel the need to make such hard decisions again

amother

Calendula

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:46 pm

amother Firebrick wrote:

But you are restricting food. Why can’t a kid have doubles? Why are you controlling the situation and telling her to wait 10 minutes. If a kid wants more let them have more dinner.
You will cause emotional harm to restrict and over control.
I know how difficult it is to not have enough money for food. But having enough food for everyone is crucial even if it means reaching out for help.

mha3484

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:47 pm

I live on a different planet because where I live my local chesed org runs a food program that helps the middle class. They give out chicken, eggs, cheese, produce etc. No one needs to overly restrict themself.

I do think there is a value to teaching our kids about portions, about pacing themself. I tell my kids all the time to first drink water and then decide if they are still hungry. A lot of times they are not actually hungry they were thirsty. I don't consider that restricting. Its about teaching good habits.

Last edited by mha3484 on Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:54 pm; edited 1 time in total

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:51 pm

amother Carnation wrote:

Meatballs vs shakshuka is a preference which isn't the same as limiting.

amother

Hunter

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:51 pm

amother Calendula wrote:

I don't restrict it but sometimes there just isn't enough for my teenage son to have seconds or thirds. If I made enough then gezunterheit eat it but he eats a ton and I can't always keep up. Not really for financial reasons, more because I just can't manage to cook more than I do.