Kids want but I can’t afford

amother

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 10:45 am

ShishKabob wrote:

That's why I don't aim to please on this site or other people in the world that their hashkafah doesn't match with mine.

People mistakenly believe that the amount of hours or the amount of diplomas equal more pay and and easier time paying the bills. If you read the Shaar Habitachon, that's nothing further than the truth.

Of course a person has to work, because that's what Adam was cursed with, however there are lots of variables to it.

Also, Hashem can get you floafers in your kids sizes without you paying for it and without you asking anyone to help you with it! I've experienced this in real time real life, just saying.

In any event, I really hope that you reach out to the one Above, that is in charge of everything, and He has pull in the biggest companies and He is the one to rely on for all of your wants and needs. He is capable of providing them for you in very creative ways. Lots and lots of hatzlocha and brocho!

Yes I know this and thanks for the reminder!!

Every so often I get sidetracked and post here and then it always gets me off that path and in a bad spiral. I’m going to go back to Hashem with this! Thanks

amother

Crocus

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 10:45 am

ShishKabob wrote:

I take great offense to what you are implying here. Those that work hard have no bitachon??? Of course hashem can do anything he also wants us doing our part. We should always turn to Him and recognize we do not have anything without Him. You remind me of the story with the flood and the boatHashem keeps sending the rescue boat but the person ignores waiting for Hashem to rescue.

Edited to add I would love to see a rav that would say don’t do anything extra when you cannot afford $12 shoes for your child.

ShishKabob

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 10:53 am

amother Crocus wrote:

The amount of hishtadlus that you need to do is in direct proportion to the amount of bitachon that you have or either don't have.

If you feel offended by what I wrote, it's probably not meant for you.
I am not offended by what you wrote.

amother

Butterscotch

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 11:00 am

amother OP wrote:

Did you clear this way of thinking with a Rav you respect?

amother

Magenta

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 11:01 am

ShishKabob wrote:

So how do you explain the rebitzens that worked full time? Did they have a lack of bitachon. Rebitzen Feinstein worked in a public school full time. She must have severely lacked bitachon which caused her to have to work full time?

amother

Peony

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 11:02 am

amother OP wrote:

Thanks!! So I don’t want to get into too many details but I do some private work as wel but it has been very very slow lately.

DH is not rebbe material…
I would love for him to get something new I think it’s time for him to move on. He has trouble knowing what he wants to do though

I guess my point is that even if he switches to a different part time job, and makes the 15k you are, if that allows you to work full time, you are way way ahead. Also, chances are that if he steady part time job ( sounds like you are paid hourly) it will be a lot more then the 15k.
Say $25 x 25 hours a week = 30k

Also, if you have a more full time position, chances are that you will get additional benefits, like health insurance that will help

Has he ever tried a career counselor?

amother

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 11:06 am

amother Butterscotch wrote:

Op, you can sign up at www.prolific.com to take surveys. I’ve been on the site since November and have earned around $200 a month. That’s enough to buy several floafers full price.

Prolific does have a wait list so if you don’t get in within a few days, cloud connect research is another survey site you can try. I believe water girl has been using it for a while and had a good experience.

There’s a place for having emunah and bitachon but when your children are suffering and you are in debt that will be hugely multiplying now that 0% balance transfers are not an option, imho that time is long over. You can check with your Rav.

Repeat

ShishKabob

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 11:12 am

amother Magenta wrote:

There is a reason that some Rebbetzins worked full time or part time. I'm not going to dissect other peoples personal decisions and analyze what worked for them.
However, I still stand by what I said and it's not a contradiction.

amother

Magenta

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 11:13 am

ShishKabob wrote:

How is it not a contradiction?

amother

Kiwi

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 11:55 am

amother Magenta wrote:

How is it not a contradiction?

It's not a contradiction because I look at it as a whole as what do I think Hashem wants from me at each time.
During the hours of 7-8 am where do I think Hashem wants me? Some years it was waking up early to go to work before my kids woke up and some years it was getting my kids out of bed, breakfast, getting them dressed etc...
Does Hashem want me to be home with my kids when they get home from school? Well, do I have an alternative that I think Hashem would want from me, are they old enough to be okay for an hour themselves. Again, every year I reevaluate this.
Does Hashem want me to be working extra at nights? Can I do this while still preserving my mental sanity and having my house in order? if not, no. if yes, yes.

And I use this formula for every decision I make in life. Do I think Hashem wants me to buy this extra pair of tights so I can do less loads every week... depends on my bank account and my mental health.

So when I go through life (Like OP did) and do every detail according to what I think Hashem wants from me and the numbers still don't add up then I leave the rest to Hashem.

amother

Buttercup

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 12:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

No one would ever say don’t daven to Hashem for help. Just that you should also try to do hishtadlus. If you are OT/PT/speech try looking into other agencies if yours doesn’t have much work for you.

amother

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 12:16 pm

amother Buttercup wrote:

Right I didn’t say anywhere that I shouldn’t do hishtadlus. My job is building up but it’s slow. It’s the highest paying one per hour in my area. I’m not gonna take something else and then leave that something else when this builds up. That’s just not right to do. They are working on something to get more opportunity. I don’t want to be too specific and out myself but it’s gonna build up, it’s just slow. Sometimes in life we (I) can’t change tue situation I just have to do my best and wait it out

amother

Peony

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 12:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

If that's the case - I would stay where you are and side hustle a bit until it builds up
I have furniture flipped and done well, let me know if you want to know more

Babysitting at home when your baby is out or subbing can be an option as well.
If you know how to do sheitals - there is always a huge need before YT, you can make a lot with that.
There are remote jobs for things like Data Entry, You can take 15- 20 hours a week and fit it in to your schedule.

If you are being paid well per hour and only making 15k, you are working very few hours a week.....

amother

Buttercup

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 12:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

You don’t have to leave, just take on a few cases from another agency or privately. There is a huge lack of providers now so there is definitely work out there.

LeMortedeLilac

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:03 pm

OP, I'm posting under my screen name. I didn't read the whole thread but as someone who feels beyond blessed to be able to buy my teenage daughter whatever clothes she wants, I want to pay it forward and share some purim gelt with you so you can buy your precious, hardworking daughter something nice as a reward for trying so hard. All I ask is that you include my name in your tefillos, when you can. I can really use a refuah. I've been sick with cancer for a long time and bh, money isn't my worry. It's health. So let's trade. Please daven for me a little and I'll send you some money to spoil your amazing sounding daughter. No pressure though! We can all use some extra brachos and kavana right around now so let's try and get there together ❤️

amother

Crocus

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:33 pm

LeMortedeLilac wrote:

Do you want to post your name I would love to daven for you too. Refuah shelaima!