Lighting in frum homes (discovery during house-hunting)

amother

Outerspace

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 10:12 am

Can it be the Non Jews have only 1 or 2 family members. If they read it might be in their room, they have lights near their beds. They might not feel the need to light up the home. We have Shabbos, Yomim Tovim, Chanukah, we light candles at all Chaggim. We sit with our bh' large families around the table, eat a few x a day. We ''live '' in the home. They don't.

amother

Amaranthus

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 10:34 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

I don’t think that’s right. They live in the home too and even if their families are on average smaller than ours and look different, they’re still families and they do spend time at home. I think it’s what someone already said. A lot of the time they spend in the home they’re watching tv or on their devices. That works best in dim lighting. We’re the people of the book. We read a lot. Sometimes we call it learning or davening but it also involves reading from a book, often with tiny print. We need bright light for that.

amother

Amaranthus

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 10:42 am

amother Brunette wrote:

I grew up not Jewish and I don’t like the frum style of lights blazing. It’s harsh, and also expensive to run all that electricity.

I prefer softer lighting. I like a cozy look.

Cozy isn’t something most frum Jews seem to want.

I’m a frum Jew and I love cozy. Cozy means different things to different people. Cozy to me is comfortable seating, soft rugs, plants, pictures of the kids, candles burning, smells of something with apples and cinnamon coming from the oven and a bin overflowing with toys in the corner.

amother

Hunter

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 10:44 am

I do think they "use" their house a lot less.

We bought a 5 year old house off non jews with 2 elementary age kids. It was in pristine condition. The hardwood floors looked new. The kitchen looked untouched. The bathrooms were spotless. And yes, none of the bedrooms had overhead lights, and the rest of the house was very dimly lit.

After 5 years of us living there with 2 elementary age kids the house is so much more banged up. Loads of wear and tear everywhere.

I happen to like soft lighting.

Interestingly when you look at houses on insta or home decor websites, the bedrooms do have overhead lights. But mostly it's just ceiling jewelry.

I'm almost sure the wiring for overhead lights in a bedroom is considered an upgrade in standars non-jewish construction

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 10:54 am

amother Wallflower wrote:

We bought our house from non Jews and the lighting is a disaster. We do have singular light fixtures in each room but in the main living room dining room it's just not enough. I keep wanting to fix it but it's so expensive especially as it looks like we would have to lower our ceiling for spot lights. My husband who is not American actually prefers the soft dim lighting.
I agree with him in that I hate cool bright lights, it feels like a gym for me, I prefer warmer lighting tones but just lots of it. Recently someone commented on how different (not in a nice way) my lighting is because most people have very cool bright lighting.

We've installed canless spotlights recently, very thin lights, I was involved in installation. Don't see why lowering ceiling would be necessary even if larger, never heard of lowering a ceiling for spotlights!

amother

Charcoal

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 11:02 am

Guess what I’m ffb and I hate overhead lights or million spotlights that is popular here. I rarely use my main lights.

I think frum homes are just less cozy. Most frum homes don’t have a lot of carpet, lots of lamps, candles and sofas.

My home is styled less ‘typical frum’. I have rugs (even in my eating areas! My friends think I’m crazy!) I have lamps in every room, several in my living room, I exchanged all my lightbulbs to a softer yellow, and I prefer warm paint colors over cool.

My bedroom light has never been turned on! I use lamps at each bedside and with curtains, area rug and throw pillows, the space is so cozy.

I’ve definitely noticed it before. It’s been a point of conversation for many years. People always tell me that my home doesn’t look like the copy paste frum home.

(I also love fireplaces, natural wood floors rather than tyle, wood framed kitchen, rather than high gloss white…. Etc. I also can’t stand the sharp black and white exterior that people are designing their homes with now. It’s sharp but not warm and cozy.)

GLUE

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 11:25 am

amother Charcoal wrote:

I think frum homes are just less cozy. Most frum homes don’t have a lot of carpet, lots of lamps, candles and sofas.

It might have to do with being practical,
When you have a lot of little kids tile\vinyl floors are easier to clean then carpet
Lamps can be a nightmare stopping the kids from destroying them
Candles and little kids do not mix

kenz

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 11:26 am

amother Charcoal wrote:

You must not have anyone with allergies around. Carpeting, curtains, area rugs and throw pillows are all huge dust magnets and the first to go when kids have allergies. Once you remove the carpets you wouldn't believe how much cleaner and spacious everything seems.

amother

Opal

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 11:28 am

Brownies wrote:

Funnily enough, I always thought of it as a European thing because we've rented holiday apartments and houses in a couple of European countries and always been frustrated by the poor lighting. It never occurred to me that it may be a Jewish/non Jewish thing!

Definitely is. We (in Europe) had an electrician install wiring for lighting before we moved into our house and he asked why Jews always have such bright lighting.

amother

Pistachio

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 11:29 am

GLUE wrote:

I think that's true but I also think frum people sorta just copy what they see in other frum people's houses. I find it entertaining that I immediately realize a house on zillow is a frum house based on the decor. (Sefarim, kosher lamps, double beds in the master bedroom confirm my suspicions)

scruffy

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 11:32 am

amother Pistachio wrote:

You can tell from the outside too lol (even without a tangle of kids riding toys). We play that game sometimes.

Very plain landscaping, usually no potted plants, a couple of those very boring brown or gray patio chairs.

amother

Hunter

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 11:44 am

amother Pistachio wrote:

I think it's a new thing that frum houses are so cold. All Grey and white and minimalist and sparse. It's a look. It won't last forever.

amother

Wallflower

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 11:55 am

amother Cerulean wrote:

They cut a hole in our ceiling and that's what we were told, that there's no room to work with. We wouldn't need to drop the ceiling a lot of we use those things led spotlights but it would involve a whole new ceiling framed and built.

amother

Moonstone

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 12:00 pm

Dim lighting is depressing. In the winter it’s dark by 5:30pm. We don’t want dull lighting for so many hours. Kids need to do homework, mothers cooking, men learning. When it’s bright the house comes to life. Small bulbs from lamps are for relaxing before going to bed.

amother

Pistachio

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 12:41 pm

amother Hunter wrote:

I think it's a new thing that frum houses are so cold. All Grey and white and minimalist and sparse. It's a look. It won't last forever.

It's funny that you say all grey and white and cold because that has been out of style for at least a year in the interior design world. Beiges, browns, warmer tones are much more in style.

I think frum style homes have always been sparsely decorated. So many times the living room is just a 3 seat couch (usually the puffy leather recliners) pushed against a wall and some book shelves of sefarim. Maybe a rug. No coffee table. No side tables. Some family pictures or gedolim pictures as art work. I think there is a way to balance having open space for kids to play and also infusing some style into a space.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 12:42 pm

amother Wallflower wrote:

Not sure how can be no room doesn't it have to be at least as deep as beam?

amother

Hunter

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 12:44 pm

amother Pistachio wrote:

I know. And I don't only mean the colors, it's this shiny glam sterile look.

amother

Lemonlime

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 12:51 pm

At least where I live
It’s against building code to put lighting in the ceiling
They claim they are afraid the installer MAY crack the cement of the ceiling which is the floor of the 2nd floor
There is only 3 ways to get an overhead light
1. Sofits
2. Drop the ceiling. In otherwards make a “fake” ceiling
3. Run a thin visible pipe to run the cord through from the center to the wall in order to plug it in. Or sometimes there’s a fancy chain that gets swagged.