Family /Friends who dont have text messaging

zaq

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 4:37 pm

Trademark wrote:

And before phones we had letters and that was the only way to keep in touch with people in different cities. And if somebody traveled you wouldn't know if they're dead or alive.

This is the reality today and this is how people communicate. There's no point of harping how it was done back then.

And it's not necessarily about instant access. It's more convenient in many ways text. You don't have to answer right away (so actually the opposite of instant access), if the person is not available they can answer at a later time without having to run after the other person, it's much easier to send information via text. The other person doesn't have to write down information they have it already written down. Etc

I'm not negating the convenience of texting or the fact that many of us rely on it quite heavily. I argue with OP's contention that it is VERY annoying. Tough bananas, she'll just have to be annoyed, but maybe she should seek therapy for her anger management issue. People don't have to change their way of life to suit her convenience. And whereas OP seems to think that her very life depends on texting and one can't manage without it, I'm merely pointing out that it is, in fact, possible, if less convenient, to live without it.

jkl

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 4:41 pm

zaq wrote:

Doesnt this work both ways though? If someone doesn't want to text, she shouldn't expect people to change their manner of communication to suit her choice.

Trademark

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 4:44 pm

jkl wrote:

Doesnt this work both ways though? If someone doesn't want to text, she shouldn't expect people to change their manner of communication to suit her choice.

Exactly. Especially if this is the accepted way to communicate, and you choose not to.

bigsis144

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 4:48 pm

Trademark wrote:

And it's not necessarily about instant access. It's more convenient in many ways text. You don't have to answer right away (so actually the opposite of instant access), if the person is not available they can answer at a later time without having to run after the other person, it's much easier to send information via text. The other person doesn't have to write down information they have it already written down. Etc

Exactly!

The advantages of texting, as I see it, are asynchronous communication and being able to instantly store information outside your brain.

I don’t generally expect an instant reply to text messages. I don’t think it’s rude to send a text message at 2am, for example - I assume that people check their phones when it is convenient to them, and respond when they have the time/information at hand. If I’m nursing a baby in the middle of the night and thats’s when I remember I wanted to get my sister’s hamantaschen recipe, I like that we can each be part of that conversation on our own time.

I guess technically voice notes work similarly, but being able to quickly reference an address, a shopping list, etc. without the added step of having to transcribe it is SO helpful.

ddmom

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 4:52 pm

Everyone is entitled to not have texting but people that don't have texting must make sure their voice-mail is available to leave a message!!!
It is so frustrating to try to reach someone and not being able to text and not being able to leave a message!!!

happy7

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 4:54 pm

People who don’t text, or who live in a community where primary communication method is WhatsApp and they have a smart phone and just choose not to have WhatsApp need to accept that they are going to be left out. Expecting everyone to always bend for you is not nice.
We have one sister in law who chooses not to have WhatsApp. She is so much fun and a sweet person, but she is out of it in terms of the group. We aren’t going to text her every time something happens.

My mother has chosen not to be part of our extended family WhatsApp group, and she gets upset that she isn’t up to date on all the info. She doesn’t want to accept that she made a choice. She wants us to call her and let her know every time someone has a baby or gets engaged. That’s not happening and she gets upset about it.

Jewishmom8

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 4:56 pm

happy7 wrote:

That sounds pretty disrespectful of you towards your mother....
You are so much smarter that her, right?

jkl

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 4:59 pm

happy7 wrote:

I would make an exception for my mother and would honor her request.

GLUE

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 5:00 pm

happy7 wrote:

My mother has chosen not to be part of our extended family WhatsApp group, and she gets upset that she isn’t up to date on all the info. She doesn’t want to accept that she made a choice. She wants us to call her and let her know every time someone has a baby or gets engaged. That’s not happening and she gets upset about it.

With my mother I will let her decide on how she wants to communicate with me because she is my Mom. Everyone else on the other hand...

mudpies

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 5:04 pm

My mom doesn't have text. She doesn't even own a cell phone.
It's annoying sometimes. She's much harder to reach. Sometimes it's highly inconvenient. But still, I respect it. She knows that she won't always know the news, and she's ok with that. We grew up with this so I'm used to it, and although it's frustrating sometimes I mostly respect it. It's not something I aspire to myself, but I think it's great that she's living the life she wants to live. She is careful to listen to messages several times daily so she can get back to anyone who called. She's very anxious and tends to get overwhelmed easily, so I think it's awesome that she does this - it keeps her much calmer. She also doesn't read the news for the same reason. It's not for everyone, but I'm glad she stays so much calmer and lives a life that's right for her. We've all learned to accommodate and she's never insulted if she hears about something a week after everyone else.
I don't think it would be fair to her at all to force her to do something that would make her life so much more complicated (yes, for her it would) just to make life more convenient for some of the ppl around her. We can live with it. I love her and am happy for her.

bp1234

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 5:11 pm

I’m a big texter. I’m not a shmoozy person by nature and most quick questions/comments warrant a simple text. My house is bh very noisy at all times and I find it so difficult to answer the phone when people call. At night, I’m too exhausted to answer. Unless its a whole back and forth conversation, I appreciate the benefits of texting. If something is important or complex I definitely opt for a phone call so there is no misunderstanding and the point can come across faster.

Tao

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 6:06 pm

My son went to one of those babysitters who worked out of her house. The babysitter did not have text. Actually, she didn't even have a mobile phone. It was very yeshivishly run, so many times I would show up with my toddler and one of her kids answered the door and said there's no babysitting today because her daughter had a baby, or she wasn't well, or whatever. It's a lot of effort to call up each of us individually so instead she just relied on us showing up and then being told to take our kids back home.
My boss was not happy, and neither was I.

Mommyg8

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 6:10 pm

I think texting is a great tool, but very overused.

Its impersonal, its abrupt, you're missing tone... I can go on and on.

The place for texting IMO ? Yanky can please pick up milk on the way home. I'm running late, will be there in five minutes...

I hate when people basically only communicate via text. And there are too many conversations that happen through text that should not be happening.

Just my very humble opinion.

zaq

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 6:16 pm

happy7 wrote:

Un.Be.LIEV.Able.
Your own mom and you can't be bothered calling her to tell her someone in the family got engaged or had a simcha?
Wow. Who the H--- do you think you are?
I hope she doesn't leave you so much as an old housecoat in her will.

zaq

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 6:19 pm

Tao wrote:

The fault here lies not with the fact that the woman didn't have texting, but with the fact that she lacked the menschlichkeit to make the phone calls. How many families could have been involved? Eight? Twelve? Certainly not fifty.

NechaMom

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 6:19 pm

zaq wrote:

She might leave her the house phone though!

zaq

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 6:22 pm

mudpies wrote:

My mom doesn't have text. She doesn't even own a cell phone.
***************************
I don't think it would be fair to her at all to force her to do something that would make her life so much more complicated (yes, for her it would) just to make life more convenient for some of the ppl around her. We can live with it. I love her and am happy for her.

Hats off to your mom for bringing up a mensch. And hats off to you for remaining the mensch your mom brought up to be.

NechaMom

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 6:24 pm

I love the quote "My boss called a one hour meeting which could've been a short email".
I feel the same about calls and texts. If it can be a text there's no reason for a phone call.
If someone chose not to have text they will miss out on small decisions and technicalities when it comes to family updates. For parents who chose this, I'd definitely make an exception and call for anything important or interesting to them.