You know those prize brochures

notshanarishona

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

We do require a parent’s signature so I thought they were ok with it

Never thought of the flip side - the parents being badgered etc

(My kids are young - haven’t gotten to that stage yet)

Am I to give up my job now ??

I wouldn’t have as big a problem if you mailed it to houses and let parents see it first and discard before showing it to kids. My problem is how you go in school or camp and show it to everyone and get the kids all excited, making it very hard for parents to say no.
I am all for kids giving tzedakah, but I don’t think kids under 18 should be going door to door shnorring.
I also don’t like how out of state organizations come to a city and gets all the kids into fund raising for them when really if anything they should be fundraising for local needs of which there are plenty .

amother

Crocus

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

Am I to give up my job now ??

Just transition into fundraising for adults. Use your skills to encourage adults to donate to the cause.

amother

Crocus

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:47 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

This is a great point. OP, ask yourself why don't the organizations send these brochures to the parents who should then distribute it to their kids. It is because they know very well that most parents would just dump the brochures. They go directly to the kids in an attempt to bypass the parents.

amother

Oxfordblue

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 9:13 pm

Another mother who despises this type of "tzedakah". It has destroyed our kids abilities to truly give for the sake of giving, it pressures adults into giving money that is not b'lev shalem and it has destroyed the concept of aniyeh irchah kodmim. Then there is the large percentage of the money we give that ends up going to the prizes and the campaign instead of to the organization itself. I have never let my kids canvas the neighborhood for these types of campaigns, and I know that I - along with most parents - resent having to give to kid after kid who comes knocking at the door.
When I give tzedakah, I want to make a conscious decision about which organization to give to (either a local mossad or an organization that has directly affected me or people I know) without pressure or bombardment. And I want the money I give to ALL go to the mossad, and not to a bevy of children vying for prizes.

Children are cute, but should not be used as pawns for organizations. OK, now off my soapbox.

amother

Snowflake

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 9:20 pm

Also, I dislike how the kids don't even realize or give a hoot that it's for tzedakah. They open this catalog, see eye watering prizes and see how much they need to bring in so they can get it. They don't even chap it's for a good cause. It's just "this is how much money I need for this prize".
My son really wanted to do it a few years, I used to make him take the little part of the pamphlet that explains what the organization does and tell it to the person he's collecting from.

amother

Cerise

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 9:26 pm

In the kid's minds it's like "hi we are collecting for a scooter", instead of "hi we are collecting for "bikir cholim"
In their mind the goal is to get the scooter, not to collect money for the organization

amother

NeonOrange

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 9:30 pm

amother Cerise wrote:

100%
But I don’t think the organizations care because their goal is to raise money.
It’s so messed up. SO messed up.
Can someone actually make a change and get this craziness to stop???

Persevere

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 9:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

I can't comment on your parnassa, but yes, you might want to consider it if you can find a different job.

There are ethical considerations to think about when we choose our work. I know an attorney who turned down a very well paying position because he wasn't 100% sure about it ethically, even if maybe it was halachically okay.

boysrus

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 11:44 pm

wow. add my negative feelings on this subject to everyone else's! Everyone already wrote out my feelings....
OP, I read through this whole thread and noticed that not a single responder here likes these fundraisers involving our kids.
Please rethink this style of fundraising. can you fundraise through a different style of fundraiser instead perhaps? thank you.
I feel bad because you probably feel quite attacked by all those who responded to your question.... we are not attacking you specifically, rather, the style of fundraising is being attacked.

amother

Thu, Feb 01 2024, 12:54 am

I’m grateful to all those who shared their feedback.

Interestingly enough we’ve gotten some beautiful letters and calls from parents thanking us for giving their children the opportunity to get something all their friends have but they can’t afford.

Or a different child came from a wealthy home and his mother said she wants him to feel the feeling of soliciting funds and needing to approach others

We do have competitive campaigns that undercut us every year and do unethical kupshtik.

Surprisingly we do have haskomos from rabbonim.

Again, this is not to excuse myself, just pointing out why I’m surprised by the direction of the thread.

May we be zoche to Moshiach speedily so we don’t need to launch our campaign. Amen

GLUE

Thu, Feb 01 2024, 1:03 am

I once called a place that send a brochure to my kids name and told them it was not acceptable to be marketing to my kids.

They told me the same thing you just said
we’ve gotten some beautiful letters and calls from parents thanking us for giving their children the opportunity to get something all their friends have but they can’t afford.

Makes me wonder if this is the place I called.
Have you gotten negative feedback? Or most people who are upset with this don't even bother giving it?

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Feb 01 2024, 1:06 am

I don't allow my children to collect and get prizes for many reasons. This topic has been discussed on here many times and I have a lot to say but it's all been said already so I'll just add that there is no prize for effort which is TERRIBLE for a child's self esteem. One kid can go knocking door to door for 2 hours and bring in $100. The next kid can make a phone call to a wealthy or generous uncle and bring in a $1000.
Also, often kids will end up getting prizes parents don't approve of. I know a girl whose parents didn't want her to have a hover board. She went collecting and got it as a prize from an organization. What's that teaching the child?
Check out this thread to hear more about the parents perspective:
https://www.imamother.com/foru.....22994

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Feb 01 2024, 1:15 am

amother OP wrote:

Parents signature does not equal parents approval.
I refuse to sign to allow my kids to participate because I think its terrible chinuch. But sometimes I'm badgered into giving money so my kid can get a prize and that can be money I don't have at the time.
Kids can also change prize numbers after parents see it and get something parents don't approve of.
You don't need to give up your job. You need to find more appropriate ways to fundraise and not (ab)use kids.
That wasn't a typo. It's using kids in an inappropriate way.

amother

Thu, Feb 01 2024, 1:17 am

amother NeonYellow wrote:

I’ve been abused as a child. I wouldn’t say this would compare to that in any way.

amother

Thu, Feb 01 2024, 1:22 am

amother NeonYellow wrote:

That thread is regarding the Yeshiva. But I get the gist

amother

Thu, Feb 01 2024, 1:23 am

GLUE wrote:

Curious which org it was - wouldn’t want the name outed here though

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Feb 01 2024, 1:24 am

amother OP wrote:

I’ve been abused as a child. I wouldn’t say this would compare to that in any way.

I'm sorry for your childhood but keep in mind there are all different types of abuse. Luring children for your gain can definitely fall under abuse

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Feb 01 2024, 1:26 am

amother OP wrote:

That thread is regarding the Yeshiva. But I get the gist

The parents perspective is very clear on there.
But there are other threads too. If you search I'm sure you'll find them

amother

Winterberry

Thu, Feb 01 2024, 5:25 am

amother OP wrote:

So lets break it down.
The poor kid learnt that collecting from neighbors is a great way to get a coveted toy.
And the rich kid learnt a social lesson his mother could probaly find a another way to teach him if she wanted to.
Meanwhile your org bypassed hundreds of parents who have very valid concerns.