DS and Dd need sharing hotel room for pesach

amother

Babyblue

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 9:45 am

fleetwood wrote:

Honestly, I would sleep with dd and have hubby sleep with ds Its only a week..no biggie .

This was what I was gonna suggest as well.

I know you probably would ha e liked a nice room with hubby, but if you can't afford a 3rd room... I didn't have brothers growing up, but I know my friends who did, they NEVERwould have shared especially at this age.

amother

Natural

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 9:47 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

This this this
OP, what values do you want to teach your daughter?

I don’t understand this comment. What values are you insinuating that she is teaching ? And how is this a reflection of values at all?

amother

Razzmatazz

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 9:50 am

amother Sunflower wrote:

There’s “boys and girl” and then there’s an adult boy and girl.

Super inappropriate in my opinion. I would either pay for another room or split a different way.

I think modern orthodox are okay with it. The idea is why it inappropriate if their sister and brother? (Not going into details… but I’m sure you understand where their argument would go from there).

amother

Purple

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 9:51 am

amother Natural wrote:

I don’t understand this comment. What values are you insinuating that she is teaching ? And how is this a reflection of values at all?

She's teaching her daughter that when she feels uncomfortable in a potentially s-xual situation she should ignore those feelings and do what is convenient or will make other people feel better.

For example, if she's staying late at work and her male boss is the only person there and she feels uncomfortable when he closes the door, she should ignore those feelings and not rock the boat.

Explicit enough?

amother

Razzmatazz

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:03 am

amother Purple wrote:

She clearly doesn’t think a sister and brother would be doing that together. That’s why modern orthodox are okay with having a brother and sister sleep in same room and girl wear pants in front of her brother. How common is incest? I don’t think common enough to worry about it. A boss is very different than a brother or father.

amother

Bergamot

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:07 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

This really isn't a true generalization at all, not even in the secular world. And how is it comparable to girls wearing pants in front of their bothers???? One has nothing to do with the other. She wants her privacy & personal space. That's not outrageous for an adult.....

amother

Cherry

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:10 am

When I was engaged my brother and I shared a room for about two months. I was 20 he was 22. Now it was a bit strange but what’s a better option? Sleeping on the couch?

amother

Peru

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:11 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

Halachic issues aside.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT SHE THINKS.
HER DAUGHTER IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT!!!
What else needs to be said?

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:11 am

amother Cherry wrote:

When I was engaged my brother and I shared a room for about two months. I was 20 he was 22. Now it was a bit strange but what’s a better option? Sleeping on the couch?

Yes the couch is 100 times better

amother

Razzmatazz

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:12 am

amother Bergamot wrote:

I’m sure not Jewish girls and boys (sister and brother) would share rooms together. In fact, they’d go further than that as well and have friends sleep in their room. But, I really doubt the sisters and brothers are having incest together.

amother

Peru

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:12 am

amother Cherry wrote:

When I was engaged my brother and I shared a room for about two months. I was 20 he was 22. Now it was a bit strange but what’s a better option? Sleeping on the couch?

I'd say yes. Definitely.

amother

Bergamot

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:13 am

amother Cherry wrote:

When I was engaged my brother and I shared a room for about two months. I was 20 he was 22. Now it was a bit strange but what’s a better option? Sleeping on the couch?

Yes, sleeping on the couch is definitely the better option!

amother

Bergamot

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:14 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

You're wrong, but this isn't about incest. This is about and adult expressing her discomfort regarding a choice her parents made for her that she's being forced in to. The parents should respect her discomfort and work something else out.
It's not a must to go to a hotel for pesach.

amother

Peru

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:14 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

I don't want to pop your bubble, but I want to pop your bubble.

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:14 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

Don’t doubt anything you can look at statistics and non Jews 100% separate genders as teens.

graphic613

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:16 am

I would sleep in the same room as the daughter and get my husband to sleep in the same room as the son. I also liked the idea of getting a room with an adjoined door and keeping it open. But definitely speak to a rav about this.

And to the poster who said the 22 year old shouldn't have to pay for her own room because her parents decided to go away- I think it is more complicated than that. I think some parents would tell her she has to pay for her own room or at least pay towards it.

amother

Peru

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:17 am

OP I have a question for you.
Do you want to sleep in the same room as your father and brother for a week?

amother

Mocha

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:19 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

Where does modern Orthodox come in here exactly? You "think" they are ok with it? I'm guessing you don't actually know MO people that well.

amother

Natural

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:21 am

amother Purple wrote:

It wouldn’t occur to me that this is a zxual issue. I thought it was privacy.

amother

Bergamot

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 10:22 am

graphic613 wrote:

It shouldn't be complicated. She shouldn't be made to pay because her parents decided to go to a hotel for pesach & couldn't be bothered to make proper arrangements.
It's not that complicated at all.