Gift for bday for therapist-Update on Last page

zaq

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 4:40 pm

I wouldn't. That would nudge the relationship from therapist-client in the direction of personal friends, which is not a good idea. This is different from a parting thank-you-and-farewell gift when you discontinue therapy and will no longer be a client.

writinggirl

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 5:30 pm

I wouldn’t give my therapists any gifts. I’ve written my therapist heartfelt cards of appreciation at significant times. For example, the first year I saw her I gave her a card around Purim time that said something about how I wanted her to know that she’s one of the people I think of giving mishloach manos to, even though I can’t. I also sent her a card when she had a simcha and when I had my own personal simcha. I saw her for around 5 years. A gift is crossing boundaries and I wouldn’t want to put her in that uncomfortable position.

amother

Sienna

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 5:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

My old therapist I used to give lot of gifts for appreciation.

I learned therapist don't like that. So now I hold off and only give app times something like chanukah, purim. Like donuts and a card for Chanukah. Mm before purim in office. So was wondering if I knew she has a bday, if it's OK to gift her.

She always says that I shouldn't feel like I need to gift her in order for her to be there for me.

For me it feels like she doesn't accept graciously. Like maybe she doesn't feel deserving. I always think just say thanks and shoin.

She doesn't accept graciously because as others havebsaid it's not so appropriate for you to keep giving gifts. I don't think it's because she doesn't feel deserving. You can't look at this the same way you would with a friend.

naomi2

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 6:56 pm

Op stop giving her gifts.
It's not appropriate and she doesn't t want to receive them from you because it is unethical for her to accept.
No more gifts unless it is your last session with her.
Notes of appreciation are ok in certain limited circumstances.
Again, just to be clear, do not give her any more gifts.

amother

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 7:37 pm

So I never really gave her real gifts like anything expensive or significant.

Just little tokens.

Like few mini cheese cups pckged from a store, before shavuos.

A mini chocolate card before rh.

A few donuts in a box on Chanuka.

Mm was a small box with pckged items including a mug.

Another mm was cheap tote that you can put pics, with pckged items inside.

I also see people in gift shop buying for their kids therapist( idk if reg or Ot/pt/slp/) gifts before Chanuka or purim. Also gift stores advertise, perfect gift for therapist, in my community. They buy things like diffusers, lotions, perfumes, cosmetic bags...etc.

amother

Hydrangea

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 7:43 pm

I pay my therapist a lot of cash and I say thank you at the end of the session but it’s never once crossed my mind to give her any gift of any kind.
I’ve been there for over 8 years that I can remember, on and off.
I like her very much and I think she’s wise and I’m glad she’s the shaliach for me.
But I don’t think I have attachment issues that I see so many posters here deliberate.

amother

Sienna

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 7:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

A kid's ot/pt/slp is different than your therapist. You can give them a thank you gift. The advertisements probably mean kid's therapist.

The consensus is no, but sounds like you're not willing to accept that.

amother

Cappuccino

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 7:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

Big difference between a psycho therapist and a Speech therapist , OT etc.

I never gave gifts to my therapists . It breaches boundaries.
Just because you go to a clinic doesn’t mean the therapist is working free of charge . Your insurance is paying for it .

amother

Cappuccino

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 7:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

These items are all considered gifts and the fact that she commented to you multiple times that they aren’t necessary should have been a clear indication for you to stop giving them to her.

amother

Gray

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 7:56 pm

naomi2 wrote:

I thought notes were okay

amother

Sienna

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 8:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

She gets a salary from the clinic. Idk how much she gets paid.

This has nothing to do with how much she gets paid. Gifts are not appropriate.

amother

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 8:16 pm

amother Sienna wrote:

This has nothing to do with how much she gets paid. Gifts are not appropriate.

It was a response to someone who said she pays her therapist a hefty amount and doesn't add gifts to that

naomi2

Sun, Dec 31 2023, 8:21 pm

amother Gray wrote:

I thought notes were okay

Reread my post and see that I was clear that notes are ok. No gifts, not even small ones, not even cookies or donuts. The gifts being advertised for therapists that are for children's therapists like speech, ot, pt.