Cooking erev yom tov -Would this be considered normal

amother

Brunette

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 2:46 pm

You did amazing ! But even less would be normal. Very wide range of normal lol
I made :
Cholent
Chicken soup
Potato kugel
Sloppy joe
Chicken pot pie
Challa kugel
Two types of apple kugel/cake
Rice to be made into sushi salad - hope I get to it!!
Cooked premade stuffed cabbage.

I don't make challa often
I have gefilte fish leftover from first days
As you can tell, I don't make typical foods sometimes. And I still think I am normal. Lol.

egam

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 3:07 pm

amother Snowdrop wrote:

I also made a lot today. But basically prepped it and will put it in the oven later. I did it with the kiddos "helping" because otherwise they are fighting and I can't keep stopping every three seconds. Did it take longer having my little helpers, definitely. But otherwise it probably wouldn't get done. I baked 3 desserts, made 3 mains, 4 sided and 2 salads, plus prepped. Baruch hashem I cleaned last night so I don't have to freak about it now. I am also running some laundry my kids can't manage without. It's crazy but like others say- it's somehow typical for us moms especially with this yom tov shabbos combo. I would normally have a little more help from my husband but he learned all night and I felt like I wanted to let him sleep. He'll be up later and I'm sure he'll help with whatever is left.

Kudos to you for involving your kids. Yes, now it seems that it takes longer, but soon they’ll be more helpful in a real sense. And even might relieve you of some cooking duties 😉

amother

Chambray

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 3:12 pm

Sibling rivalry and the mess.
I clean and I break up fights all day. I don't mind everything else.
I'm not even asking for advice bec it won't work.
I put on something for them to watch and still fighting. Who sits near who. Who's leaning over too much. Who's talking and disrupting. How boring it is too watch this show.

amother

Banana

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 3:48 pm

I find it to much to make challah on Friday. Probably because that's on my mom ever made and she always made challah on Friday. The kitchen turned into a huge mess.

I shopped last night. I was going to start cooking yesterday, but something came up. I woke up today at 7:30 and started cooking.

groisamomma

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 4:10 pm

I sometimes leave all the cooking for erev but then I make much simpler, and much less food. I can certainly never undertake challah on an erev anything, let alone erev YT!

I get what you mean when you try to guage from others what's normal and what's not. I have to do that with my parenting because I grew up so dysfunctional and my natural idea of normal isn't normal. So kudos to you for trying to hit the right balance.

You did more than most would do on an erev. That much food on an erev would cost me anxiety and lots of yelling at my kids. I usually spread it out over 2-3 evenings when I make that much.

amother

Gray

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 4:14 pm

I make less than you. I buy challah and kugel. My teens and I split the cooking. I work on Friday, so on Thursday night I find out who wants to make what and make the rest. Last night I made a cake and brisket. Today kids made fish, soup, cholent, and 3 cakes. At some point, somebody will have to make frank n blanks, chicken, and something with chopped meat. If my kids don't want to do it, someone will supervise younger kids in playroom while I cook. My oldest always loved cooking. During covid I made a rule that if you have no school, you need to help. That could include cooking, watching siblings, cleaning, taking out garbage, etc. Nobody is forced to do any job as long as everyone can say they did something.

amother

Linen

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 4:56 pm

I grew up like this, a mother that worked erev YT and worked like crazy to get everything done fresh. I don’t know that I would call it dysfunctional, we were well fed and no one was neglected or yelled at but it was hectic, my mother lit candles at the last second and even if I wasn’t being asked to help I felt the stress. All of my siblings cook at least some things in advance and freeze or even just start the night before instead of the day of because we don’t want a hectic afternoon like the house we grew up in.
My mother actually followed in out footsteps now and freezes things and it’s made a big difference in her erev YT experiences

notshanarishona

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 5:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

So all of you that are saying I am heroic (lol but thank you!) you make similar but froze? You bought out? What exactly did you do to make food?

I make challah and desert about once a month and freeze. That’s what I find most time consuming.

naomi2

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 5:08 pm

Op the amount of food and the time it took to make it is within normal. Sounds like how much I would make in that amount of time. I buy challah though. I try to make things Thursday night also, especially if it's being reheated anyway for a different meal. Cooking kugel meats and soups in advance and frozen is also normal.
Some people make less that you and some more. Some people cook only fresh on yom tov itself. Some people have their dh or older kids cook some dishes and some cook all of it themselves. Some people buy part takeout and part cook at home.
And op, you do need my agreement but I'm my opinion, since you are asking, it sounds dysfunctional to never cook food for your children as you described.

honey36

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 5:10 pm

My question is, how many ovens and stove tops do you have? When I make brisket, it's in the oven at 300 for 4-5 hours so I basically cannot cook anything else in the oven that day. To bake one batch of challah takes about an 1:20 minutes (oven fits max 2 trays for 40 minutes each, and one batch makes 3 trays) so I do all that stuff in advance and freeze. No way I could do it all Erev yomtov!

amother

Zinnia

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 5:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

Great post. I do believe it is dysfunctional to never ever have a home cooked meal. Remember- I am not just talking yom tov. Every single night's supper, every single shabbos. Something - a piece of chicken once a year. I am talking for 20 years of my childhood. Like you wrote this is kinda the least of it but I wonder if I had a totally amazing mom who never cooked - to me it is still missing something. Am I wrong?

Actually forget chicken - give me a bowl of macaroni or french toast - nope never had that.

My mom also didn't cook. We had take out a lot, or box Mac and cheese with canned vegetables a lot. Or frozen food. She cooked real for maybe once every few weeks maybe.

I learned to cook from a young age and often cooked stuff for myself. My mom actually started cooking more when she retired. I don't think it was dysfunction for us. Not every woman cooks. Her mother also didn't cook. My grandfather was the cook in their family . I think my mom is still pretty amazing.

ra_mom

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 5:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

So all of you that are saying I am heroic (lol but thank you!) you make similar but froze? You bought out? What exactly did you do to make food?

Trying to copy your list, with some tweaks of what I made.

Challah - made in advance and frozen otherwise buy fresh. I can't manage this on a Friday.

Salmon - last night

Gefilte - last night

Desserts - made yesteday

Chicken soup - made previously, strained and frozen

Noodles - made previously and frozen in little ziplocs

Corned beef - made 3 for Rosh Hashana and froze them sliced with sauce in sep container for RH, 1st days and 2nd days

Cabbage & noodles and lo mein - made for RH and froze for 3 meals

Roaster chicken - prepared last night and timed this to be ready 15 minutes before shabbos.

Silvertip roast - same as above, in oven now

Potato kugel - this morning

Roasted potatoes - boiled baby potatoses last night. Halved and roasted them today.

Cholent - prepped last night, put up on appliance today

3 trays roasted veggies - today

Hard boiled eggs - yesterday

Marinated salad - yesterday

Dressing - yesterday

I used to make everything at once and I went into shabbos and YT frantic. I was convinced that freezing food in advance was gross. I end up learning what I could freeze and what I need to make fresh and try to work backwards where I can. Of course it doesn't always work, and sometimes I'm frantic. And usually it's because of the cleaning. After cooking so much it's very overwhelming and I can't manage that last minute while I'm working of food and showers.

amother

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 5:53 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

ok but canned veggies requires a pot and fire, mac and cheese is a pot and fire - that's cooking in my book. Frozen food needs a pan We never had that. Everything came from a store. My mom never had pots and pans out - when I say never I mean it. Not exaggerating here.

Maybe people don't agree but to me that is dysfunction even if nothing else was wrong....

amother

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 5:53 pm

ra_mom wrote:

This is awesome!!! I'm gonna come back to this after yom tov.

doodlesmom

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 6:04 pm

Op you are doing amazing I think your background caused one issue, and that is how to preplan and cook in advance.
Most balabustas start cooking some stuff before yom tov and spread it out so no day is super overwhelming!

You can learn what freezes well and double batch the, etc.

It’s amazing how far you’ve come! But you can make your life easier!