I don't understand Elul

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bgr8ful

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 10:37 pm

op- I feel ya.

also, I feel like a lot of the replies on this thread are just the same, old, surface level? answers ive heard since 7th grade that I can recite in my sleep, and they dont actually answer the op. maybe I'm too jaded.

my question always was, kinda on the same vein as urs op, I dont know if I'll be able to word this right so bear with me, but what does bitachon actually mean. because we can trust in Hashem till tomorrow, at the end of the day we're still gonna have painful experiences and go thru tough times in life. and sure, I believe "everything Hashem does is for the best", and that "everything happens for a reason" and "Hashem is always with us" and all those cliche things we're told, but in reality, life just really hurts sometimes and all the prayers or bitachon in the world won't prevent that. to me, bitachon means having absolute 100% trust in Hashem, like leaning backwards off a building and falling into His arms. but what am I actually trusting Him with? what am I doing relying on Someone who I know will cause me pain?

I do believe that on some cosmic level our tefilos and mitzvos bring more positive energy or brachah or whatever into our lives. can we really see it all the time? nope. but I think there are moments every now and then where we kinda can.

for me in the last few years I've actually started enjoying rosh hashana and yom kippur. I dont cry and wail, but its like a reset for the year, a reset for my connection with Hashem. I love the atmosphere and the davening in shul on rosh hashana and yom kippur and it awakes something in this jaded old heart of mine.

also, and this might sound silly, but ishay ribo's song 'seder haavodah' really gave me an understanding and appreciation for the davening on rosh hashana/yom kippur. I had never really paid attention to a lot of the words before, but theres something abt that song... I dunno how to really put into words but it makes my heart ache a little (in a good way) every time I hear it.

Thisisnotmyreal

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 10:43 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

So this is something a lot of won't easily grasp (or agree with) and doesn't seem - to me - to be necessary to explain OP's questions. Once Moshiach is here, yes, we'll be in cause and effect mode, much more clearly. Will we have it before? I don't know. Because of the clarity we'll have at that point yes, doing mitzvos will come more easily.

Have you heard any posul mezuzah stories? These are a recent phenomenon. I listed many different scenarios earlier. There is evidence of seeing more and more the impact of our avodah.

Yes it does happen.

bsimcharabba

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 10:56 pm

Op - as someone who was diagnosed with cancer this past year, as you wrote in your question, I couldn’t disagree with you more. It’s not my job to question why. It’s not my job to play the victim game of “why me”. That’s not why I’m on this world. I wholeheartedly believe this happened for a reason. Not a clue why and I never will, but I can tell you that I have seen yad Hashem from the beginning. I don’t think I’m a particularly “bad” person. I don’t think being diagnosed with cancer meant that HKBH was punishing me. This is just a bump in the road and because it’s there I will try to learn from it. Illness isn’t a teacher. People don’t get ill to learn lessons. People deal with what HKBH throws at them and it’s our job to see the light in the darkness.

DustyDiamonds

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 11:11 pm

OP, you’re asking really thoughtful questions!

One thing that I often remind myself:

When Adam was created, there was no rain because there was no one to pray for it. The rain was waiting to come down, but needed a prayer as a “go” button!

When we daven and give tzedakah and do teshuva — maybe we’re turning on that “go button” to allow more food into our lives.

It doesn’t mean everything will be good, and there will be zero bad, yet perhaps it gives extra strength to the good stuff we’re supposed to have.

Is that a helpful way of thinking of it?

And I love how Rabbi YY Jacobson explains how HaShem will be judging us. I’ve heard him say this in many of his Rosh Hashana and Elul classes, here’s one. It’s so different from what I learned in high school!

https://theyeshiva.net/jewish/.....ental

PinkFridge

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 11:28 pm

Thisisnotmyreal wrote:

Do you mean checking mezuzos like https://collive.com/miracle-me.....old/?

Thisisnotmyreal

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 11:28 pm

Alter Rebbe is the first Chabad Rebbe. Aka The Maggid of Liozna, The Baal Hatanya, Rav Shneur Zalman of Liadi, Admur Hazakein.

Thisisnotmyreal

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 11:30 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Do you mean checking mezuzos like https://collive.com/miracle-me.....old/?

Yes. There's sooo many of these stories. We don't have stories like this from say a century ago.

PinkFridge

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 11:32 pm

Thisisnotmyreal wrote:

Yes. There's sooo many of these stories. We don't have stories like this from say a century ago.

https://www.chabad.org/library.....s.htm
"From Talmudic times to the present."

These stories are nice. They're like spice. But they're not the actual food.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 11:34 pm

Thisisnotmyreal wrote:

Alter Rebbe is the first Chabad Rebbe. Aka The Maggid of Liozna, The Baal Hatanya, Rav Shneur Zalman of Liadi, Admur Hazakein.

Thanks, next time please write that so that we should understand who you're talking about...

Thisisnotmyreal

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 11:35 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/711130/jewish/Mezuzah-Stories.htm
"From Talmudic times to the present."

These stories are nice. They're like spice. But they're not the actual food.

I don't really understand what you mean.

The point of these stories is to show how things are different now. There's a direct link of our mezuzah and our physical life. And that this being a recent phenomenon is proving that the veil is thinning.

Thisisnotmyreal

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 11:39 pm

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

Thanks, next time please write that so that we should understand who you're talking about...

I could next time, but there's Baruch Hashem many Tzaddikim and we aren't all familiar with every single one and it's ok. I usually Google if there's someone mentioned that I am not familiar with.

Is the Alter Rebbe really that much more foreign to you than say R' Buruch Mezebusher? I'm merely giving the source.

amother

Aconite

Sun, Aug 20 2023, 11:44 pm

In high school, over 40 years ago, I asked if Hashem knows how great He is, why does HE need to hear it from us via prayer, over and over? Whats the point of prayer?

My teacher answered that its to refine our characters. Its for OUR self improvement.

I think if we compare those who look to be Ehrlich steady daveners with non-daveners, we do see a difference in character.

Im not a big davener by the way, but I talk to Hashem in my own words a lot.

salt

Mon, Aug 21 2023, 2:25 am

Don't compare or look at others.
Me myself will be better off with teshuva, tefilla and tzedaka, than I would be without it.
Doesn't mean I will be better off than my friend who did less teshuva, tefilla and tzedaka than me.

That's how I see it.

amother

Chestnut

Mon, Aug 21 2023, 4:25 am

https://open.spotify.com/episo.....scosh

amother

Birch

Mon, Aug 21 2023, 4:42 am

OP I’m with you all the way.
I used to daven my heart out RH and after years of pain my Davening completely changed to almost nonexistent and I can’t say I’m having it worse than the years I prayed so hard... I agree there is no major connection, at least in my experience.
I’m jealous of those who still feel the Elul and tishrei spirit but I’m left feeling like a fool for once thinking I can make a differenice if only I daven harder. Also, I can’t stand the fluffy answers. The real answer is that there are no answers!

PinkFridge

Mon, Aug 21 2023, 9:14 am

Thisisnotmyreal wrote:

One of the links said "from the Talmudic times to the present."
Is it possible we just know more of these stories now?
This is reminding me of the debate over hashgacha pratis books. Of course these stories give us chizuk, but we don't always see cause and effect, happy endings so clearly.

PinkFridge

Mon, Aug 21 2023, 9:17 am

amother Birch wrote:

There's so much more to Elul and Tishrei than the results we see after. Please don't get me wrong. I'll be begging for lots of things too. (And I do daily already.) But the Elul/Tishrei experience is a rich tapestry with something for everyone.

amother

Mon, Aug 21 2023, 9:26 am

amother Maple wrote:

Firstly, it's not me that made this up. This is what tzadikim tell us, tzadikim who know Hashem and Torah better than we do.
That said, Hashem is not an ATM machine, Hashem is a relationship.
Chas veshalom to say a person didn't do enough and in turn received tzaros. Chas veshalom. Hashem does not want us to have tzaros. Hashem wants us to have a good life, a life of fulfillment, love, and security.
Hashem never gives up on a single Jew. Wherever we go and whatever we do, Hashem follows us there and accompanies us through the thick and thin. When we are poor, Hashem is poor. When we are lonely and sick and pained, Hashem is right there with us experiencing our loneliness, illness, and pain as well. Hashem waits together with us in our distress until the time that we are ready to be redeemed from our tzaros.
We are never alone and Hashem never forgets a single Jew no matter how far away he feels he is.

Life is not, daven and a bag of gold comes down from Heaven, or do a sin and lightning strikes you down. There aren't buttons that we push to receive immediate results.
There are immediate results to our actions but they are mostly spiritual.

I don't want to sound insensitive to pain and poverty and illness. I don't want to come across as not understanding.
Everyone has their "pekel" in life, their challenges and tests that Hashem gives them, not because they did or didn't do enough or deserve tzaros Chas Veshalom. We deserve the best! Each one's challenges are tailor made to the individual neshama, for the neshama to accomplish in this world, to climb the ladder of self improvement while cleaning and polishing up the part of the world we inhabit.

Life is not easy-an understatement. But it was gifted to us to conquer and accomplish and to be a partner in creation as we make the world a better place.

Yes, life is painful. And sometimes really sucks. And stinks. And we hate it.
But we have a mission and we stay strong and firm in our resolve to fulfill our purpose. And when we do and the more we do, we find the beauty and understanding in life, it shines through to us.
It only gets better and better.

I appreciate your response but once again it seems to be in the realm of blind faith. (Which is fine.) You say that hashem doesn't want us to have tzoros and suffering. But hashem seems to inflict random people (some good, some bad, some righteous, some wicked, some religious, some not religious....just anyone) with tzoros. We have no idea what we did to deserve it. We have no idea what to do to remove the tzar. Sometime the rasha has their tzoros removed and sometimes the tzadik has their tzoros removed. Nobody has an explanation for anything. Why it came, why is stayed and why it did or didn't leave.

You sat hashem is suffering with us. That's blind faith. You can accept that "it says so somewhere", but it's not practically understandable. We have no idea what that means and we certainly can't understand it.

The idea that tzoros is a test doesn't make sense most of the time. Babies are born sick and suffer. Hashem is testing them? Women are abused and suffer. What's the test? To keep davening even though there's no yeshuah? We can say each tzara is tailor made but we have zero understanding of what that means and why it's happening. We can only have blind faith that there's a reason.

And let's keep in mind that the torah actually is presented somewhat is a vending machine. It says if you do A, B, and C you will be rewarded. If you do X, Y and Z you will be punished.

Surkie

Mon, Aug 21 2023, 9:40 am

amother OP wrote:

Pretty much felt this way as far back as I can remember. I'm totally a yiras Hashem person, not so much an ahavas Hashem. I'm kind of always waiting and expecting to get zapped, for the other shoe to drop even when good things happen to me. I'm afraid to be grateful to Hashem as I should be because I'm anticipating the next bad thing that may happen because I maybe did an avairah. My R"H and Y"K davening is pretty much asking Hashem that He doesn't give me any nisyonos, because I have no koach to deal.
Is that wrong because we're supposed to be v'ahavtah es Hashem Elokecha????

amother

Maple

Mon, Aug 21 2023, 9:47 am

bsimcharabba wrote:

Wishing you a speedy refuah shleima and much bracha!

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