Babysitter problem

Posted: Thu, May 01 2008, 12:25 pm Post subject: babysitter problem

I love my (not jewish) babysitter. She takes great care of my 3 month old DS. I work from home, so I hear what is going on when she is with him. The problem is that when he cries she sings "Yoshke loves me" to him over and over. This makes me very uncomfortable, but I am afraid I will offend her if I say something. Is there a tactful way to say something? Or is this no big deal and should I leave it alone?

Posted: Thu, May 01 2008, 12:29 pm Post subject: re: babysitter problem

I would definitely say something-it's not what you want your child to hear, even at that age. Just say it nicely, but firmly. Maybe help her find an alternate song to use. And don't forget to compliment her on a great job she is doing.

Gold Member Joined: May 19 2006 Posts: 1682

oh yah - you should say something - just explain that we dont use that word in this house because were Jewish. She can replace it with Hashem or Mommy or her own name...
and then say how you think she is doing a wonderful job with your son!

Posted: Thu, May 01 2008, 3:53 pm Post subject: re: babysitter problem

Emphasize that you respect her religious beliefs, however because you are Jewish, you are somewhat uncomfortable with that song.
I usually discuss this when I interview my potential babysitters, along with kashrus and everything else.

Posted: Fri, May 02 2008, 6:29 am Post subject: re: babysitter problem

OMG! You have to get her to stop immediately. Why are you afraid of asking for her to do something for the wellbeing of your child? You are paying her and plus, if you are afraid she wont stop, its time for a new babysitter. You need to be comfortable to ask her to raise your child the way you want them raised, not the babysitter's ideas.

Posted: Fri, May 02 2008, 7:51 am Post subject: re: babysitter problem

definitely say something, and keep your eyes open!
I don't mean to scare you, but when I was a child, there were all these stories of babysitters who were trusted a bit too much.
The woman watching my grandmother and brother almost took them into a church.
I remember a few stories then (although it may have just been a "story" - maybe someone else also remembers) of someone who came home and the babysitter said "your daughter is now holy - I brought her to the church and had her sprinkled (or something to that effect) and another one, even worse! they had a tzeilem engraved on the baby.

AGAIN, THEY MAY JUST BE MADE UP STORIES. But I remember it being big talk. I don't want to scare you - I just want you to be VERY CAREFUL!!!!!!

Diamond Member Joined: Dec 04 2006 Posts: 2694

definitely definitely say something! if she'll get offended, well, the well being of you son outweighs her being upset.

and yeah, we've all heard the horror stories.

Posted: Fri, May 02 2008, 11:16 am Post subject:

I cannot leave my kids with a non-Jewish babysitter. it horrifies me. I've seen horror stories. I've seen non-Jewish babysitters let kids play with their necklaces (with certain symbols), smack them around in the street, and teach them certain things.

and remember, I converted. growing up, when I was forced to attend certain services--no matter which place--they all constantly harped on 'saving' people. they taught whispering things in ears, the sprinkling thing, going behind parents' backs, and most of all I heard non-stop about "getting" the Jews to chas v'shalom see their way. no joking, and no exaggerating.

most (not all) of them have an ultimate goal. and it certainly isn't our heilige Torah and its derech.

unless you constantly surprise your babysitter, or have a nanny cam, you really have no idea what she's telling or feeding your children day in and day out. even when respectful of your beliefs, they just don't know some things. I've seen non-Jews who are very respectful of beliefs, but due to a lack of knowledge have made major mistakes in kashrus, including thinking, "oh I know she said only to give her food, but what's one drink, one time going to hurt." etc.
_________________
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Diamond Member Joined: Dec 04 2006 Posts: 2694

tehilla, for all those reasons I would never leave my kid with a nonjewish babysitter.

the only time I allowed it was when I had a baby nurse. but I was in the house.

although she read her bible ALL day and night (that was the only book she had with her- I don't know how she did it. halevei we could have such hasmoda lol), she used to sing uncle moishy songs to the baby.

it wasn't ideal, but very necessary at that point.

Posted: Fri, May 02 2008, 11:22 am Post subject:

that's the first sentence in my previous post, squash. based on experience, observations, and seeing it happen in the street I cannot leave my kids with a non-Jewish babysitter. I've had my housekeeper assist me when I'm IN THE HOUSE with her, but other than that I could not do it. it's too scary, and my kids are too precious.

Silver Member Joined: Sep 03 2007 Posts: 631

I don't know about all of this. In the area where I used to live, there were a TON of nonJewish babysitters and they all knew each other and they all "knew" about kosher etc... My babysitter would NEVER give my dd ANYTHING that I didn't give her to give to my child. And she watched her in her own apt! I really trusted her since she had worked for so many year with the frum community. She only wanted to babysit for Jewish pple b/c they are so nice and their kids are great. What a kiddush Hashem! And...she was Greek Orthodox---oy vey, ti was so ironic on Channukah to send my dd to a Greek!

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 07 2007 Posts: 10429

You must protest at once! Not in an angry or mean way, just point out that hearing songs from other religions is against your religion and you'd aprciate it if she did not sing songs or tell stories from her religion in your home. As her what other songs she knows or teach her something you like. Surely she knows Brahms' lullaby in some language? It's probably been translated intoevery language on earth. You're the employer, you set the rules. If she refuses, I'd start looking for a replacement.