Until when are hand-me-downs ok?

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 20 2006 Posts: 5704

No, I am not asking about my 2 yr old passing clothes onto the baby, but I wanted to know until what age is it ok for a child to get an older child's clothes. At a certain point they probably wont feel too good wearing their older sibling's clothes.

Till the kid starts complaining. Wink

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 20 2006 Posts: 5704

Not all kids are open about saying what's on their mind...

Posted: Wed, Apr 02 2008, 9:19 am Post subject:

In my experience, it depends if the younger child LIKES the item!

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 16 2007 Posts: 2952

For me it was never a choice. I wore hand me downs until I was the same size as my sister. I would get one or two new things per season, like a coat or a shabbos dress, but why would my parents buy new things when we had perfectly good clothes. At around 12 or 13 I started complaining some, so my mother offered to take me shopping so I could spend my babysitting money on clothes.

I can't do hand me downs for my girls because my oldest is a beanpole and my younger has what to pinch.

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 07 2007 Posts: 10429

I'm close to 50 and I'm still delighted to get my sister's hand-me-downs--or her daughter's hand-me-ups.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. IOW, if the kid doesn't have a problem with it, neither should you.

I'm assuming here that the younger child gets SOME new clothes of his/her own? And the hand-me-downs are in respectable condition? It's not fair for the younger child to wear hand-me-downs exclusively, or hand-me-downs in bad condition (except as appropriate for the activity, like mud-wrestling).

And shoes should not be handed down at all unless you absolutely can't afford new ones.

Worn-out shoes yes, get rid of them, but shoes that DS wore, like, twice (ok, exaggeration but you know what I mean-- they grow so fast), I would let another child wear.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48139

If there IS compaining, wonders can be done with changing buttons, adding or removing trim, etc.

Executive Member Joined: Dec 09 2007 Posts: 464

My DH wore hand-me-downs his entire life. That's what you get when you are the youngest of a family of boys (cousins included). He absolutely loved it because he had a huge selection to choose from.

It would probably be very different with girls.

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 29 2007 Posts: 12057

many times when the kids get into middle school age, the peer pressure bug hits them. I come from a family full of girls & my younger sisters stopped wearing my hand me downs about 6th or 7th grade- when the clothes weren't IN anymore. If kids are making a girl miserable in school about their clothes or she perceives they are- even if they aren't the type to speak up- they usually do. Girls tend to be mean- but this is the peak age & everyone wants to fit in. This happened in my family 6 times at the same time. So it was either the family crisis age or peer pressure cooker age.

Gold Member Joined: Mar 08 2008 Posts: 2200

I never wore hand me downs because we had to "match", my mothers mishugas....but I gladly accept quality hand me downs from family and friends....and have gotten beautiful things which to my children are brand new....I have not had the opportunity to hand down within the family because I have only one of each gender, but I have bins of clothes I will be thrilled to pull out again!
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Platinum Member Joined: Aug 29 2007 Posts: 12057

I have two girls both the same season- one end of feb, one beg of march. my younger daughter could care less about wearing handmedowns but the older one is jealous that I let her sister wear "her" clothes. It's really quite comical.

We do a lot of hand-me downs, both from within the family and without.

Within the family, its funny, b/c the older child will say , "ooooh, that was my favorite" or "I LOOOOOVED that dress" or "Oh, you are sooooo lucky..." or share a memory of something that happenned when they were wearing it, and the younger kid feels very special. They also like looking at the photo albums, and seeing the older sibling in the thing they are wearing. (we are talking girls, ages 8 - 14 - 17 here)

Without the family is easier, b/c it is like new to them.

We are only discussing items that are in good condition, no rips or stains.

The boys are harder, b/c they KILL their clothes, there isnt much left to save by the end of a season.

Shabbos shoes or really good shoes (not the Payless disposable shoes) are worth saving. Shabbos shoes rarely get worn enough to be an issue, and the other shoes are good for an extra pair, at the very least. Sandals are NEVER handed down - they get so shvitzy and worn through that they go into the garbage after sukkot.

Additionally, my family is very into Reduce, Reuse, Recycle - so this is an extension of that. They also see the parents doing the same thing - I get hand me downs from 2 friends, we do composting, we re-use leftover food creatively, etc. We are not asking them to do anything we arent doing ourselves, it fits into a family geshtalt.