no kiss on the cheek please

yo'ma

Tue, Apr 01 2008, 9:45 pm

I see people on here give and want hugs all the time. I know not literally. I am so not a touchy person. Here, where I live, they give a kiss on the cheek all the time. (At least only one cheek). People who know me, don't. I do what I have to do, but I'd prefer to keep an arms length away. Would it bother you to greet pple with a kiss? I know if you're European, it's probably the norm.

Love My Babes

Tue, Apr 01 2008, 9:53 pm

I would only do it at a wedding or simcha. and the other person would probably be the first to offer it, but I dont really have anything against it, im more the hug type than kiss tho.

cookielady

Tue, Apr 01 2008, 9:59 pm

Here many women double kiss whenever they see me, and personally I cant stand it, having someone I barely know, or someone who I have never met but am being introduced to, kissing me.

yo'ma

Tue, Apr 01 2008, 10:00 pm

Quote:

Here many women double kiss whenever they see me, and personally I cant stand it, having someone I barely know, or someone who I have never met but am being introduced to, kissing me.

where's here?

amother

Tue, Apr 01 2008, 10:29 pm

My husband's family is a very very warm family. Whenever one meets each other they kiss 2 times on the cheeks and when they leave another 2 kisses. I come from just an opposite family. Kissing is only at simchas and only one not 2. It's really hard. Everything I go to my shviger or my grandmother I dread all the kissing that's going on.

GAMZu

Tue, Apr 01 2008, 10:32 pm

My MIL kisses me on the cheek when she comes and leaves and I can't stand it.
I don't like ppl kissing me, but a hug for a friend I haven't seen in a while is fine. Smile

At a simcha, though I think a kiss on the cheek is acceptable between baalei simcha and close friends and relatives.

yo'ma

Tue, Apr 01 2008, 10:48 pm

I don't even like it at simchas, not even at my wedding. When I got engaged, one of my sil said that when I get married, I'll have to get used to touching and have someone touch you LOL

, I told her not to worry and I know LOL

louche

Tue, Apr 01 2008, 10:50 pm

what, they never heard of air kisses? designed to prevent ladies from smudging ea. others' makeup, it invoves bringing the cheeks in close proximity to each other but not touching, and kissing the air in the general vicinity of each others' ears. it's the only genteel thing to do if one MUST kiss.

frankly, if you're concerned about germs, a handshake is a much more effective way to pass the little buggies around than kissing.

freidasima

Wed, Apr 02 2008, 4:59 am

We only air kiss, parents kiss their children on the forehead or top of the head, no matter what the age. I kiss my mother's hand (sefaradi style davka) when I see her.

amother

Wed, Apr 02 2008, 7:05 am

I actually don't see anything bad by kissing (the same s-x though) but that is maybe because I grew up in Europe.
No offence to anyone on this forum/thread, but as a European, I find Americans in general a bit cold.
For example when I was in the USA with my dh on holidays, when we walked into a store or hotel, they would automatically say "Hello, How are you?" at the begining I would really answer and say I am ok thank you for asking and so, but then realise they don't really care, they are just asking as a routine kind of thing.... I would find myself talking to the wall as the person in the store was already greeting a new customer or doing something else.
I think it is a cultural thing, there is no right or wrong here, but me personally I prefer the warmth Wink

drumjj

Wed, Apr 02 2008, 7:25 am

I dont do kisses I have one friend who gives me a kiss when she sees me but that is a very close friend.(in uk) ppl hug at lot here which when I was a lot younger I used to hate but now I dont mind and its usually only close friends anyway.

yo'ma

Wed, Apr 02 2008, 7:39 am

Quote:

No offence to anyone on this forum/thread, but as a European, I find Americans in general a bit cold.
For example when I was in the USA with my dh on holidays, when we walked into a store or hotel, they would automatically say "Hello, How are you?" at the begining I would really answer and say I am ok thank you for asking and so, but then realise they don't really care, they are just asking as a routine kind of thing.... I would find myself talking to the wall as the person in the store was already greeting a new customer or doing something else.

Would you prefer if they didn't say anything? I think more likely they would say, hello, can I help you? I'm in S. America and they're supposed to be "warmer" here too and they say hello, how are you here just as much there and they're not interested really. It's just a greeting. Maybe, one time when someone asks me that, I'll tell them the truth and not just b"h. Well, my back hurts me, I'm really tired, I feel fat (because I am), etc.. LOL

By the way, I'd rather have a "cold" greeting than them watching me like a hawk, which I've encountered in at least 90% of the stores here.

amother

Wed, Apr 02 2008, 7:47 am

Quote:

Would you prefer if they didn't say anything?

A simple hello or good morning, good afternoon or good evening will do
I dont need them to ask me How are you?

Quote:

Maybe, one time when someone asks me that, I'll tell them the truth and not just b"h. Well, my back hurts me, I'm really tired, I feel fat (because I am), etc..

I never thought of that, but it is a good one.. I will keep it in mind for my next visit to the US LOL

Apple pie

Wed, Apr 02 2008, 8:27 am

First a disclaimer: I grew up in Europe, so I'm definitely more used to kisses on the cheek than to hugs.

I actually think that a kiss on the cheek (which is actually more a "rubbing cheeks" with each one kissing the air, iykwim) is less intimate and awkward than a hug, where you embrace the whole body of the other person.

It actually took me a while to get comfortable with hugs from fellow Americans :-)

I have another problem: in Europe and Israel, we usually give 2 kisses (sometimes 4), and I used to get stuck with my face in the air with people used to give only one kiss LOL