Responsible little daughters

Senior Member Joined: Dec 10 2007 Posts: 108

Hi. I need some advice of someone who grew up frum (which is not me..)

I know that in religious families with lots of kids, an older daughter can end up helping out with the new baby, her younger siblings etc. My first born girl is now five, and does so much to help out (getting her younger sister water, entertaining the baby if I'm doing the dishes etc.) She loves doing it. And her teacher comments what a responsible little girl she is...

How much responsibility is too much? Do girls who do this feel overly burdened later on as adults? Any experiences would be grealty appreciated.

Platinum Member Joined: Jul 27 2007 Posts: 14834

I can't answer this as I wasn't raised frum, but sometimes it bothers me to see older daughters turned into miniature mothers, when they should be having a childhood, too. There's a time to help (for both boys and girls) and a time to be a kid.

Silver Member Joined: Jan 29 2008 Posts: 612

I think as a mother you have to know the limit I dont think it has anything to do with frumkeit... also it depends on the childs personality, as an oldest my dd is very responsible but alot has to do with the fact that shes an oldest.... I have neices that dont help out one bit..

Posted: Tue, Mar 25 2008, 5:56 pm Post subject: re: Responsible little daughters

We of course had responsibilities in our home, but my mother was and still is terrific. She always said, not necesarily to us, she wanted the kids and they're her responsibility. I had a friend who's mother didn't want them going away for shabbos so they could help. My mother was not like that.
It doesn't make a difference what you do because either way they'll end up blaming you for something or another Smile

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