Do you know a/o who had low self confidence that improved?

S/o that had low self confidence as a young adult, that has normal self confidence later in life?

How did it come about?

Gold Member Joined: Apr 26 2007 Posts: 1223

me.

I remembered that someone (my dad I think) once said yu didn't have to have confidence, you hjust had to look like you did.

One summer (I htink b/w 10th and 11th grade) I went to a new camp for 2 weeks. We had to fly there and then a bus took us to the camp ground. When we got to the bus (at the airport) and met everyone, I was in a great mood and just introduced myself and was very cheerufl and such and those 2 weeks were fabulous because I realized that the advice was true. When I acted confident, people gave me more respect and my own self respect grew.

Now I owuld say that the full growth of this took many years from that point, but it was a turning point. I would say it wasn't until prbably my sophmore or junior year of college that mt self esteem was truly good--

so faking confidence became real confidence.
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I became much more confident when I started working and I noticed that has happened to others too.
I'm still not confident in social situations but that's different. I'm shy but I have self esteem.

confidence fluctuates as does self asteem in a moment to moment basis, literally....

So you have to do things that make you feel good about yourself, like self control, and self discipline, self respect etc, etc. It is a constant struggle, and there is not one person who is "always" confident in every situation, even if they look it.

I think you'll have a lot of 'me' replies!!

Im one of them!! I fake it sometimes when I'm feeling shy or insecure.

I got more confident as I grew older realizing that not everyone stares at you or thinks about you the way you think about yourself.

I have it opposite.
I used to be a real confident person.
as an adult, going thru life, I feel like my confidence is weakening, I find myself doubting my judgement, feeling like a failure, and not having that usual spark I used to have.
I dont know if its maybe a result of this world we live in, where one would think when you get older, shtuyot stop. But I see all around me adults who dont stop being like those girls in high school... and I think to myself, I thought I got out of it, the competition, and all that.
Being a mother and wife also adds to the hard feelings we put on ourselves. guilt, is a major factor to many peoples confidence. unfortunately, we dont know how to live without it.

These days if u have any problem w a child's behavior or Hashkafa, the mother is blamed. I just had a conversation with a High School friend who says it's like any other problem, mostly a result od bad Mazel. We were talking about the most easygoing girl in our class that has behavior problem children. Her husband is the biggest Mentsch as well. They live very close and are very close.

I know people will kick and scream- the ones with well behaved kids anyhow!

When people criticize you after you've done your best, it shatters any confidence.