Focus on the present - dont wish time away: how?

What is a good way to remember to enjoy your kids at each stage and not wait until.... My kids are little but already when I look back at pictures I miss those stages. I dont want to live with regrets. How could I make sure to fully appreciate each stage as it happens?

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 11 2004 Posts: 19241

When the kids are going crazy, I take a second and picture each one in 20 years. Then I take a deep breath and start working towards my goal. It works.
Smile

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The Chanukah licht transcends all.

Sometimes people ask me – what’s my fav. age? (My kids range from 8-26, so I’ve had all ages and stages.) I answer - all of them. Every age and kid has their sweet parts and their challenges. Try to treasure every smile and the sweetness in every age – the cute babies and the thought-provoking discussions with the teens. (They’ll provide you with many, but only if you cared to listen to them also when they were little.)
Treat them like the individuals that they are, albeit small ones, and try to take their matters seriously – their sandcastles are our fine furnishings, and should be treated with the same care.
I know this sounds terribly philosophical, (that’s the reason for the anon) but I must say that I don’t’ feel that the years just passed me by, like so many other mothers say. Yes, I believe it was this many years since I held my first newborn! And I’m glad I’m finished with diapers, B”H! (Thought the day would never come...)
B”H – they should live and be well - I tried to enjoy it all as much as I could (and still do). Hashem knows I’m definitely not bored! People tell me I’ll be very lonely and bored when they’re all grown up and out of the house. I certainly hope that I’ll have enough seichel then to find myself productive entertainment, too.

I think that grandparents are better at focusing on the present than parents are. We are not raising the children and just want to enjoy them at whatever they are currently doing.

Gold Member Joined: Jun 20 2004 Posts: 1260

Make a journal (about all the cute things your kids do and say and their stages. Keep it postive. You and your kids will enjoy reading it in the future and its great for their self esteem. It helps you focus on the positve and it might also be nice to add photos to it.

curlyhead: that's a wonderful idea that I aslo dreamt of doing throughout the years, but never found the time for. Insteda, I learned to "take pictures" in my head - to try to capture the moment. OK, the picture itself is lost and anyhow non-transfereable, but the feelings remain.

Gold Member Joined: Sep 04 2007 Posts: 1301

remember that the early stages of your children's life is compared to a flower(I read that in a chinuch book).
they bloom and there is so much to enjoy..
but flowers only bloom for a short time, then they wither and die..

so too the hard and happy times of this stage only last a relatively short time..
and it will be all too soon before you are wishing they were young enough to say again, "mommy I love you, I want to live with you forever!", instead of, "MoM! go awaay you're so embarrasing me!!"

That’s one of the advantages of still having little ones when the first shift is grown up - you have more perspective and know to treasure the kleine tzoros and those cute hugs and kisses – I tell my little ones to please not outgrow that, at least! Very Happy