WHAT ARE YOUR PARENTS ?

Silver Member Joined: Apr 03 2005 Posts: 588 Location: EU

I just wonder what your relationship to your parents is like.
My dh grew up having to respect his parents, which I am not against. I grew up on the other hand, having a close relationship with mine. I can ask or tell them anything I want. in a way they are more like friends than parents. Thruthfully my mother and sister are my best friends. But my husband could not ask or tell anything he wants to his parents. it might be desrespectful. SO I wonder what do you prefer your children to be like with you? Friends or Parent? Question

Posted: Thu, Dec 20 2007, 9:01 am Post subject: re: WHAT ARE YOUR PARENTS ?

Honestly, from what I've seen most parents (maybe not yours) who try to be their children's friends instead of their children's parents end up with horribly behaved children who have all sorts of problems and issues. I think it's very important to always behave like a parent - and I don't think doing so means not being close with your children.

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 17 2005 Posts: 5505

combo!!!

we love that they can talk 2 us and b open w us, but there needs 2 b respect 4 our authority 2...

Silver Member Joined: Apr 03 2005 Posts: 588 Location: EU

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 07 2007 Posts: 10429

Respect and closeness are not mutually exclusive. The best relationship is one in which children both respect and feel close to parents. If children do not feel they can tell their parents anything, it's not an issue of respect, it's an issue of not feeling close enough to be comfortable confiding in them. I am assuming by "telling them anything" you mean telling them anything about yourself. Children should not feel they can tell their parents anything about them. Pointing out a parent's faults would definitely be an issue of disrespect, not closeness.

I don't think parent should be "friends" with their children. Beloved confidants, yes, but there should be that element of respect that does not exist with one's peers.

Gold Member Joined: Apr 26 2007 Posts: 1223

I think there needs to be a balance.

I alos think you need to recognize that a man's relationship to his parents and a woman's relationship to her parents are often VERY different. Just the way guy friendships and women friendships are different. Guys can go ages without talkiung to each other and it doesn't mean anythign to them emotionally...
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Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48159

Kids can have friends galore, but you can't replace parents.