Not burying next to a man who is not a relative

No, I have "free reign" to say it's a minhag, and to say "don't push your minhag on me by telling me it's better".
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Everything is cultural - disagree RESPECTFULLY
"On the eve of Tisha beAv we must remember that Tu BeAv is the important date of this month" rabbi Vittorio della Rocca

Platinum Member Joined: Apr 15 2007 Posts: 5826

whos pushing their minhag on you ruchel?
or who is saying its better?
this is all in your mind. You don't even know the particulars of the story.

there is on the other hand plenty of mockery on this thread not taken responsibility for

I don't remember who, but in this thread some said it was "not ideal" to bury men and women together, and that I shouldn't hope it would go on. It's just an example.

I asked my husband, who went to old French cemeteries for his genealogical searches, and he saw men and women together, graves from the 16th century. In the Bagneux cemetery, people are also all buried together, women and men, secular to chassidim. I didn't post it until now because I wasn't sure 100% but I asked and yeah. People should stop pushing their minhagim on others!

I asked anonymously... and b'h I'm grateful for the human answer I got.

Answer by R' Mikhael Benadmon: It is true that in some communities, for example in Romania, people who violated shabbes in public weren't buried with the others.
But nowadays it is not applied [I suppose he meant in France] to make no one ashamed and to "dirty" no family. Also, because it is not for us to judge in the cases of tinok shenishba or traumatism by the Shoah, etc.

Apparently he has not heard of women/men separating, since he doesn't even mention it. So much for "not ideal" to bury together, apparently it's the other way that is not ideal.

In the Beis Oilam that my father z"l is buried in in Eretz Yisroel there is a section for frum and not frum. But there is more than that, there is a section for shomer shabbos people who had a tv and shomer shabbos people who didn't have a tv. I can just imagine the questions my father z"l had to go through when buying the plot during his lifetime for himself and my mother...but they do bury men and women next to each other even in the shomer shabbos sections. The idea is that the kever is dug but there is definitely a separation inside because they lay concrete stones inside on the bottom and on top of the niftar (in Eretz Yisroel they bury only in tachrichim not in an oron) and so they explained that there is a separation undergound.

If the problem is that of men and women being together at a yahrzeit, that is a different one but it doesn't have to do with the people buried there because a niftar can have both sons and daughters for example...of course depending on your minhag there are groups where women don't go to the beis oiylam at all...and if your minhag is that women go to the beis oiylam you just make sure that they stand separately.

I wonder why tv... is it a new rule? because the first home to get a tv in the neighbourhood where my dad lived, in the 60's, was chassidish Laughing

Ruchel that was in the 60s when maybe tv was not shmutzik like now...most programs unless they are for children, are awful...same goes for movies, which is why I am happy that my youngest daughter, when she chooses to go to a "movie" once a year for her birthday, still goes to the animated kind which is fine for all children...things like toy story, or like madagascar...even in her teens...as she said, they are fun, they are clean and they usually have a moral.

loved madagascar Smile

you can find clean movies by checking the content on sites like cap reports, very useful