Caught s/o stealing- wwyd?

Gold Member Joined: Mar 08 2006 Posts: 2405

Was in the grocery today and saw an adult (she seemed a little off) stealing. She put things in her shopping cart and later I saw her put the expensive items (like a huge dried salami) in her shopping bag.

I've seen children and non jews (don't know if she was jewish or not) steal before but I've never said anything. Btw, I've only seen non jews stealing in big stores like Michaels.

This time... well, I reported her. I feel really guilty... don't know if I did the right thing or not.

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2007, 1:30 pm Post subject: re: caught s/o stealing- wwyd?

I would never report someone stealing food. Maybe she just wanted meat for her children?
Now, cds, make up, even clothes... maybe. But more probably in a small shop than in a big company that includes this stealing in their prices.
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Gold Member Joined: Jun 08 2007 Posts: 1330

I dont know if I would have actually reported her, but I do think you did the right thing.

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2007, 2:11 pm Post subject: re: caught s/o stealing- wwyd?

Wouldn't there be an issue of mesirah?

Active Poster Joined: Aug 14 2006 Posts: 99 Location: ny

I don't think that salami is a necassity, its really more of a "luxury" item.... If the woman didn't see me catch her then I would tell. Its horrible and wrong and there are plenty of charities and government programs for people who need help feeding their families.

Diamond Member Joined: Nov 27 2006 Posts: 4760

There is also the inyan of being 'dan lekaf zechus' by a yid. Do you know for sure she was stealing? Do you know the whole story?

I once went into a grocery to return a bottle of spoiled milk. went over the cashier first, gave it to her and she told me to take another one. So I went over to the fridge, took out a milk, put it into my bag and walked out! now I was thinking if someone was watching me take the milk, they could def. think I was stealing, but who cares- I know I was doing the right thing. Or are we really supposed to act in a way that others shouldn't suspect? Did I have to go back to the counter with the milk?

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2007, 3:19 pm Post subject:

Another perspective...

When I go shopping with my cart, I don't pay to use a supermarket cart. I just put things right into the one I own. (It also guarantees I don't buy more than I can shlep!). Then, of course, I go line up to pay for it all.
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Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2007, 3:24 pm Post subject:

Hey all that is great, if that was the case then no harm, no foul, the woman would not have gotten into trouble, I'm not saying that we have to police others, but if something is obviously not the norm, then why take a chance, report it and things will follow the natural progression.

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2007, 3:27 pm Post subject:

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2007, 3:31 pm Post subject:

Listen, in stores if they suspect that you are stealing, they don't stop you until you try to walk out of the store. Buy putting something into your bag, it is not stealing unless you leave the store without paying. As long as the woman paid for the items she put in her bag, there is no problem.

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2007, 3:34 pm Post subject:

you know some things are better left as none of your business ... it's a lot easier to steal a salami than a dozen eggs ... and perhaps she was hungry ... you don't know her life situation or what brought her to that point ...

you can only fix, control, and change yourself ... don't steal, don't judge ...
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Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48155

Confronting someone is uncomfortable at best! Andmight be dangerous.

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2007, 5:51 pm Post subject: re: caught s/o stealing- wwyd?

I was with a friend once that walked out of a store without paying. I was so sad that someone that cannot afford food would have to resort to this option. I went to the cashier, paid for her food, and then called her rebbetzin to discuss if I should ignore it, or talk to her about it. Upon the guidance of the rebbetzin, I did what I was told. It's a sad situation to watch.

anon, in case my friend is on these boards.

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2007, 5:56 pm Post subject: re: caught s/o stealing- wwyd?

If the store owner was a yid, I would approach him and tell him what I saw. A yid has a duty to inform another yid if harm is coming his way and if someone is stealing from him they are harming him. If he wants to give the salami to her, that should be his choice.

Posted: Wed, Jul 18 2007, 6:05 pm Post subject: re: caught s/o stealing- wwyd?

If he decides to go outside the beis din system, that is his aveira, not ours. In certain circumstances, a Jew can call the police on another Jew. We do not get an avaira by telling a Jew that another Jew is trying to steal from him. We are protecting him.

Gold Member Joined: Mar 08 2006 Posts: 2405

Ok, now I feel beyond awful.

Let's just clarify... the woman did not appear Jewish (not to say she wasn't) and was way too old to have young children at home to feed. Yes, she possibly had grandchildren, etc. but she paid for a small jar of mayo and a loaf of rye bread as well. Looked to me like she wanted a yummy lunch (I should've just reminded her it was the nine days.)

Platinum Member Joined: Apr 15 2007 Posts: 5828

pinktichel don't feel awfull.
those of you who are so worried about the woman not having food to eat, what about the store owner? do you know how he is doing financially?
maybe he is in deficit every month because business is bad and people steal from him.

anyway, I was discussing this with my husband once because some workers in a store told me how they caught a man hiding some food down his pants, and I mentioned to my husband, "what if the guy was hungry"
my husband's response was, then he can approach the owner or someone else and ask for tzedoka but to steal is never acceptable.

Posted: Thu, Jul 19 2007, 10:00 am Post subject: re: caught s/o stealing- wwyd?

Good for you pink! BTW, when my sister was 3, she stole a candy from the grocery store. it was one that you buy by the pound. My mother made us take her back & have her pay for it. Wink