Raising a left-handed kid in a right-handed world.

(posting anon to avoid speaking LH about DS's school)

My DS has been obviously left handed since he was a baby (although we don't know why, since we have no known lefties in our families). We need some advice about a few things...

1. Where can I find info. about halacha for lefties (such as how to wash for bread (I was already told that morning negelvasser starts with the left) )

2. I sat in on davening in my DS's preschool for the first time today (he has been at this preschool for a year already), and during davening the teacher called the right hand the "mitzvah hand" and insisted that the kids take the coin for tzedaka with that hand. My DS, of course, immediately put the coin in his left hand, but the teacher wouldn't let him put it in the pushka until he switched it to his left hand.

Now, I know that there is an inyan to do mitzvos with one's right hand, but does this apply to lefties? Also, what message does this send to DS, that he does everything with the "wrong" hand, that something is wrong with him, or that he can't do mitzvos with his good hand? I can imagine that the same thing has happened during davening every day. Should I say something to the teacher? WWYD?

Gold Member Joined: Apr 16 2005 Posts: 1943

I was taught to do everything starting with my left hand (I am left-handed). This means washing, anytime, always starting with the left. When I make a bracho, I hold the food or other mitzvah object in my left hand. I give tzedaka and touch the mezuzah with my left hand as well. I am not sure about this, but I think the right and left may be switched when laying tffilin, too (I.e. the shel yad on the right?).

Oh, I cover my eyes with my left hand for Shema, too. My daughters appear to be right-handed, so I've never had to say anything about it, but her teacher called the right hand the "Shema Hand".

I think you should ask a rav to be sure that you are teaching your ds the "right" way to do things. Once you are certain you know the halacha, I definitely think you should say something to your ds' teacher. If it does turn out that he should be doing things with his left hand, then that is the proper way to teach him. A lot of right-handed people don't know that there is any other way than using the right hand and might appreciate being enlightened. I�ve had people shocked when they see me wash with my left hand first.
_________________
Binah

Definitely speak to a Rav. Two of my boys are lefties, and they wear leftie tefillin, but I heard of kids who are not sure which is their dominant hand, and they have to put on leftie AND righty tefillin. So, with a boy it is much more crucial.

The age of forcing kids to use their right hands instead of their left hands is archaic and GONE.
_________________
Mom to 7+3+8, [33 to 21], two SILs and one DIL & 3 cute gd's and 5 handsome gs's. And a greatl DH. BARUCH HASHEM

Please say Tehillim for Leah bas Sara Malka; Rikva bas Shaina Sara; Shulamis Chava bas Bluma,

Gold Member Joined: Apr 16 2005 Posts: 1943

Interesting.

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 16 2007 Posts: 2952

I never even thought of this. My daughter is a lefty. I will be calling my Rav today. If she does have to start with her left side, I wonder if she can retrain herself.

su7kids: You're right. DH lays tefillin for both R and L.

Silver Member Joined: May 09 2007 Posts: 905

Definitely talk to your rav. Dh is a leftie and also does everything with his left. Sounds like if the rav also tells your son to use his left, then you need to talk to the teachers so that they all understand and don't try to make your son do things with his right hand when it isn't appropriate. I'm surprised that the teacher wasn't cognizant of how lefties are affected...

What the teacher is doing is WRONG.
Speak to a rav and that way you can come to the teacher saying, "Rabbi X told me that my son should do ........ ", and that this was a surprise to you too as you had no idea of the halachos of lefthandedness (ok not quite the truth but it avoids a potential falling out with the teacher).

As for your son's perspective, he doenst do things with his wrong hand, but with his correct hand. Hashem made him extra special. I bought special pencil sharpeners and scissors for my daughter when she was in nursery (now I'm buying kitchen knives!) to make her feel like her needs mattered, even what may be trivial to others. She has no hang-ups whatsoever about being a leftie. She loves it B"H!!!!

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48155

There are many amenities for a lefty these days. My family has many lefties and in the olden days it was a real hardship, but today we have lefty scissors and so many other niceties!

Ask a rov and find another lefty mom that can guide you.

Good luck! Bring us good news!

OP here,

Okay, now I'm really confused. My DH asked a leftie who he knows did a lot of research (but isn't a rav) who said that al pi kabalah lefties should still do everything the same as right handed people except for lulav, tefilin, and holding tzitzis during krias shema. Does anyone have sources for doing things with the left hand?

Thanks everyone

In human anatomy, the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body and vice versa, proving that lefties are the only ones in THEIR RIGHT MINDS!!!!

(have you figured out by now that I am obviously a leftie and loving every minute of it?) The United States' best presidents were lefties, including Ronald Reagan. Lefties are supposed to be more creative, etc.
As long as you are a leftie and not a leftist! you are okay!!! Don't fret!

Active Poster Joined: May 16 2006 Posts: 50

Definitely there are things that leftys should do with their left hand.

But just to defend the Morah (who says the right hand is the mitzvah hand), and to explain why al pi halacha many things are still done with the right hand...

according to Chassidus and Kabbolah, right symbolized Chesed and left is Gevurah, so regardless of whether you're a righty or lefty, if we are trying to emphasize the inyan of chesed (as in giving tzedokah etc.), it would be with the right hand. I'm not sure how this is seen in halocha but it would be interesting to find out.

Changing a lefty to a righty can cause stuttering. It confuses the brain.
I know at least 4 boys that were forced in school to change from left to right, and they started to stutter. A few of them had to go for speech therapy, some of them still stutter today as adults.
Please speak to a rav before letting the school switch your child.

Gold Member Joined: Jan 18 2005 Posts: 1546

DH and I are both lefties, both our parents are righties
so far both our girls are righties,
I wash with left first for bread and negel vaaser
I cover my eyes with my left hand for shema
when we walked into the yichud room after our chuppa I remember there being confusion stepping over the silver spoon which foot to place first, I cant remember what the answer was

Senior Member Joined: Nov 21 2005 Posts: 128

I hope I am remembering this correctly.
Someone once told me that Rabbi Krohn wrote a booklet about halochos for lefties. Anyone heard of it or able to find out about it?

Diamond Member Joined: Jan 19 2006 Posts: 4428

I'm going to chime in here...My husband is a lefty as are all his brothers, They wash, on the right first, say shema with the right hand. I think this is not so much a halachic issue as a DO what your rav says to do issue. I do not think there is a Halacha that states unequivocally which way to do this.

I am a lefty too. I don't think in preschool you should make a fuss. So he learns to say Shema and give tzedaka with his right hand no big deal. When it comes to writting then they would need to leave him do what is natural for him. I also do my mitzvos with my right hand. I should check with my rov, it would be realy hard to switch.

Senior Member Joined: May 12 2008 Posts: 151