Married for over 2 years, never sent thank you cards

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 12:36 am

We've been married for a bit over 2 years. I am the working one in the family and went back to work shortly after sheva brachos and had 3 very hard pregnancies, finally had a healthy baby bh! Nobody knows about the 2 miscarriages of course. My point is alot was going on and I just never got to writing the thank you cards and I am so embarrassed! its been a long time, so I try to forget about it, since I don't want to draw more attention to the fact. However every once in a while my mother makes sure to remind me how "disgusting" it is that I never sent them. What should I do?! Amother because I am ashamed! (and because of private details)

Confused

amother

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 12:50 am

I'm in the same boat. Moved right after Sheba brachos and immediately had difficult pregnancy and other medical issues and now married not quite 3 yrs without sending thank you cards. I still feel terrible about it. Sad

agreer

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 12:56 am

IMHO, it's too late.

Move on.

EsaEinai

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 12:59 am

It's never too late to say thank you!! Most people don't send them right away anyway. I sent them at around our 1 year mark. So you're really only 1 year late! Write a cute poem about how life got so busy but you appreciate the gift so much. Or, of course, you can date them from a year ago and say they got lost in the mail Wink

kidding!! People may not even recall exactly when you got married, but they'll appreciate the thank you. Set aside an hour a night for the next 2 weeks and just write write write! You can do it!

amother

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 1:01 am

Write thank you notes for the baby gifts.

r_ch

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 5:34 am

Well if it's me you wanted to thank, drop it:) I forget all wedding and baby gifts I give at once and when a thank you card arrives afterwards, I have a to think a while, why. Cool

b from nj

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 8:54 am

I second the motion that it's never too late to show some hakaros hatov. Don't push it off any longer. Apologize for the lateness b/c of life getting in the way & thank the guests for their gifts. Just do it!

happy chick

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 8:58 am

send them out today! its never too late. I don't mean literally today, but sometime soon

amother

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 8:59 am

amother wrote:

Write thank you notes for the baby gifts.

This is what I did- very nice and personal ones too. Made me feel much better.

Lady Godiva

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 9:02 am

amother wrote:

Write thank you notes for the baby gifts.

This. (Not sure why you're amother; that's good advice. Confused

)

If you write thank-you cards for your wedding gifts after having a baby, it's almost like you're asking for baby gifts now.

Mazal tov on the birth of your baby!

BetsyTacy

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 10:18 am

The people who gave wedding and birth gifts can receive one thank you note. What about the people who didn't give birth gifts but did give wedding presents? In many circles, the vast majority of people invited to a wedding don't also give birth gifts. They would also appreciate hakaras hatov.

devash1

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 4:30 pm

I don't think it's too late, and would be happy to get a thank you note even two years later. I sometimes wonder if the person ever got my gift when I don't get a thank you, so at least I'd know the gift was received, maybe just make it a bit longer and nicer than you would have done originally.

amother

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 6:33 pm

devash1 wrote:

This. When I finally sent mine out, someone said she thinks again before gifting because she never got thanked... embarrassed

amother

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 6:46 pm

I worked after and even during Sheva brachot. I had a miscarriage within 2 months after my wedding and was pregnant 2 months later yet somehow I managed to get my Ty cards out and they were personalized. It's important and it's never too late. I don't mean to sound like I'm super woman but I did a few every night and I already had the addresses from the wedding list and printed out labels.

chilax

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 7:04 pm

I would tell them in person next time we meet how much I'm enjoying their gift, thank them and apologize that you never got around to sending thank you cards

amother

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 8:41 pm

And I am married six years... never sent them out yet. For some reason I didn't do it right away and then kept pushing off as life happened.

oliveoil

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 8:56 pm

It's never too late to be polite.

Marz613

Fri, Oct 24 2014, 3:55 am

I think you should send them. I still remember who never sent thank you cards to me from as far back as 10 years ago. it's not the thank you I need, it's the assurance that they received my gift after I placed it with all the others at the wedding. I'm honestly not sure some of those couples received our gift and I feel like it was a waste of money. it bothers me a lot and I think not sending thank you notes is rude. I understand that life gets in the way, but it's never too late. I would be happy to get a mention of the gifts I gave 10 years ago even today. I also had a rough start to my marriage, moving across the ocean right after sheva brachos, miscarriage, difficult pregnancies. I sent the thank you cards, but I will admit that the majority were written before. in my community most people give cash. so I prewrote them. they were still personalized, though I hadn't yet danced with them at my wedding. call it what you want, but at least they got a thank you card. I am also very makpid about sending thank yous for baby gifts, and I have a large family. trust me, I'm no saint, but I think it's important. the point is, send your thank you cards, even 2 years later!!!

eta: I love the idea of writing a cute poem about life getting in the way.

newmommy:)

Fri, Oct 24 2014, 4:50 am

I also never sent thank you cards! ah
we moved to israel right after the wedding and I was in intense schooling and a regular (but even regular can be difficult) pregnancy!
I feel silly writing thank you notes, since I don't want it to seem like im asking for baby gifts now too.
but for my baby gifts I take pictures of my baby wearing the outfit and send the person an email with the picture and a thank you. they appreciate it a lot and it's much less work than snail mail...

chani8

Fri, Oct 24 2014, 5:52 am

Skip the traditional 'wedding thank you notes', and send a holiday card or family card, with an added 'and we want to thank you so much for your generosity at our wedding' or some such gracious comment. That's what would work for me if I deserved a thank you.

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