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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names
Same name as siblings child
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 1:22 pm
There is a certain name that not only do I love, but feel a deep connection to. I admire everything this person in tanach stood for and would love to name a baby after him.

I am currently pregnant B'H. If I have a boy I would really like to give this name.
The issue is my brother named his child this particular name about 3 years ago.

Is it wrong to still use this name?
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 1:26 pm
I don't think it's wrong for cousins.... my aunt has three granddaughters, each from a different kid, all with the same first name. Ppl have asked her if it's a family name, and it is, on each of the other sides.

also my mother's boss, named one of his daughters after his mother who passed when he was young, and all of the other siblings also named for the grandmother.
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busydev




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 1:27 pm
Absolutely NOTHING wrong with doing this.

my brother, a BUNCH of cousins (7 I think) as well as DS and many of my cousin's sons have the same name. (named after my grandfather)
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 1:29 pm
Op here
Thank you all for quick response.

Does it make a difference that there is no suvch name in the family? Just a personal choice?
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busydev




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 1:31 pm
imo no

its an opinion thing- no halacha/minhag involved in this case.
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 1:34 pm
I don't think it matters either...

I happen to love my brother's middle name, and I think my mother actually said it wouldn't be a problem to name my son that name.

also since I'm 14, I made a promise to myself to name a son after my grandfather, who had just passed away, and when I told this to my ex, he was like "that's my uncles name, we can't do that" when I spoke to the uncle's wife, she said it was absolutely not a problem
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agreer




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 1:38 pm
This is a non-issue, so don't make a big deal out of it. There's no rule/law/halacha about two cousins having the same name. do what you want! Enjoy him!
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 1:48 pm
The only time I would hesitate to give the same name is if the children would be the same age with the same last name and in the same school. That would be way too confusing.

DH has cousins whose wives were pregnant at the same time. The first one to give birth unknowingly gave the name that the second one wanted to use. The second couple ended up giving a different name to prevent the confusion I mentioned above.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:06 pm
There's nothig wrong with it. We all know families in which all the siblings named a child after the same person, so there are three or four or sixteen cousins with the same given name.

Personally I think that's a bit much, and I really dislike it when brothers give sons who are very close in age the same name, so you have two or three or six Yossie Marxes running around in the same neighborhood, maybe even in the same class. It makes future genealogists' jobs much harder, and it's confusing for the contemporaries, too. "Did you hear Yossie became a chosson? What do you mean, which Yossie? Yossie Marx. Oh, that would be Saraleh's Yossie--my Yossie is only 17, Velvel's Yossie is in yeshiva in EY, Chanoch's Yossie is still in the freezer and Elisheva's Yossie just started in the parasha." But that's my personal prejudice. YMMV.
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ElTam




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:46 pm
If you were naming for someone, I would say go ahead no question. But given that you aren't, I would ask your DH and his wife if they would be okay with it.

We did not consider any names already in use by nieces or first cousins. For the one family name we used, we asked the person who was already named for this particular great-grandfather if he would mind us using the name.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:55 pm
My chassidish grandpa shares his uncle's name
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invisiblecircus




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 18 2014, 2:19 pm
I think that whether or not this is strange/ a problem depends on the family.

In my DH's family/ community it is expected that a first born son is named after his paternal grandfather whether he still be living or not, thus, there are many people here with the same name. DH has two cousins with the same name as him and there are many families with more than three with the same name.

I also have friends in a completely different kind of community where is it common to name after deceased relatives. In their family/ community it is also normal for names to be repeated, although not necessarily expected.

In my family, it would be considered strange to give the same name as a sibling's child, partly because there are no large sibling groups in he last 3 generations therefore the number of people is much smaller but even in my grandparents' generation where the families were much larger it was also not done.

We are actually in this situation at the moment, expecting a baby in 4 weeks while my brother is expecting one in a week. Since our baby is due second, we are wondering what to do if they give a name that we wanted to give (we actually haven't agreed on names yet but that's a different story!)

Maybe the fact that you are asking the question indicated that it is not generally done in your family, because many people wouldn't give it a second thought.
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spring13




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 18 2014, 2:46 pm
There's nothing wrong with it in terms of halacha or minhag, so think about your brother and SIL for a minute. Are they the type to be offended or annoyed over this kind of thing? Did they name their own kid with this name after a relative on her side of the family, which could affect their feelings of possessiveness?

It might be smart to talk to them about it, just so they know your thought process in choosing that name. Like I said, there's nothing wrong with it, but it's true that some people under some circumstances might be bothered. So it's worth taking that into account, at least in terms of how you share the news with them.
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Rikola




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 18 2014, 3:52 pm
Sorry if this was mentioned, I didn't read all the responses. I don't think it's a problem in and of itself, but I would suggest letting them know you're considering it. Some people can be sensitive about such things. I know people personally whose relationship suffered because of this (IMO over-reacting, but it was a true relationship killer). It shouldn't be a big deal but it can be. Hopefully your relationship with your brother is strong and it will be a non-issue. My brother just named his baby my oldest daughter's middle name and frankly I was honored. I think it's a beautiful name, it should be used!
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invisiblecircus




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 21 2014, 7:33 am
invisiblecircus wrote:

We are actually in this situation at the moment, expecting a baby in 4 weeks while my brother is expecting one in a week. Since our baby is due second, we are wondering what to do if they give a name that we wanted to give (we actually haven't agreed on names yet but that's a different story!)


Heh so the baby was born early Shabbat morning and was given the same name as me! LOL
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wiki




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 23 2014, 9:47 am
You definitely are free to name your child whatever you want, so you won't be breaking any rules by giving the name you like, no matter how many relatives have that name.

However, you should consider that, like it or not, your relatives might feel negative about your choosing the same name. Decide for yourself if it would bother if it turns out that they are bothered.
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 5:50 am
My brother married a girl whose grandmother had the same first name as me. Being that I was still single when my niece was born, we literally had the same exact name. They did ask me before she was born, but I was really fine with it. I know my SIL was very close with her grandmother and really wanted to use the name. It was nice that they asked me.
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fiji




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 6:21 am
My sister and I had babies a few months apart and named the same name (after different people on each of our husbands sides)
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amother
Mint


 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 6:27 am
ElTam wrote:
If you were naming for someone, I would say go ahead no question. But given that you aren't, I would ask your DH and his wife if they would be okay with it.

We did not consider any names already in use by nieces or first cousins. For the one family name we used, we asked the person who was already named for this particular great-grandfather if he would mind us using the name.


For people like me, who come from huge families, this would be extremely impractical. I have well over 100 nieces and nephews (add in first cousins and the number would probably be double) so if I couldn't use any of their names, I would be realllllllly limited. B"H no one in my family would dream of expecting anyone else not to use "their" name for a child. . .
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 6:40 am
No one owns a name. You can give any name you please. I would never consider that other family members have a name that I want to give. I never got it.
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