Situation in Israel

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Forum -> Children's Health -> Allergies

Situation in Israel

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amother

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 12:00 am

My daughter is supposed to be going to seminary in Israel, but with the situation remaining more or less the same my daughter and I are both feeling very anxious. Is it fair to send an 18 year old girl into such a situation. I feel like there will be many sleepless nights on both ends. Please send advice soon.

sped

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 12:24 am

I too am allergic to the situation here! ( I think this in the wrong section.)
I live here and all I can say is the spirit of the people here, the streets, etc. is really incredible at a time like this. While I understand your concerns, just realize that in a spiritual sense, I think she can gain more from a time like this that from a "quiet" year. (Is there really such a thing here??) She just has to be open to it.
(Dating myself, I heard similar things from those students who chose to stay during the first Gulf War.)

amother

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 12:45 am

Yes it is the wrong section.my question is it a matzav sakana to send her. She is an anxious person I'm or quite sure how or what she'll so of she hears a siren, I really am so nervous for her and she is nervous as well

MaBelleVie

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 12:50 am

At this point I don't see how you can call it a matzav sakana. I'm assuming the seminary is in yerushalayim, correct? What do you think is happening there?

Whether or not it's a good idea for her emotionally is a separate issue. If she is an anxious person in general she would benefit from speaking to a therapist.

amother

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 1:03 am

Yes the sem is in yerushalaim. But there is trips and there are still sirens going off. My aunt living in Ramot says even she's nervous to go to town. And as for speaking to a therapist she doesn't need jne. She is just a little but more sensitive to situations than your average person but not in an unhealthy way.

MaBelleVie

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 1:07 am

The school is not going to be bringing them anywhere dangerous obviously. If she's anxious about going she can speak to a therapist. If she isn't anxious she can just go and have a great year Smile

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 1:10 am

If she is just a little bit more sensitive to situations than your average person but not in an unhealthy way, then there should be no problem with her going, and learning to deal with a new situation. She will learn what the proper reaction is to a missile siren, and react accordingly. She should be just fine.

If you are trusting this seminary with your daughter, I am sure you can trust them not to take her anywhere dangerous. (I.e. - I'm sure they won't take her to the Ashdod beach right now!)

It seems a bit like YOU are the anxious one, and she's feeding off of that. Tell yourself (because it's TRUE) that if she follows proper protocol, especially in Yerushalayim where there are 90 seconds to get to a shelter = more than enough time for a physically able person, she will be fine! And tell her that too.

I can remember at least one terror incident IN Ramot itself in the past few years. As there have been in NY and other places as well. No where is SAFE. We have to do proper hishtadlus, which in the case of living in E"Y right now means knowing what to do, where to go, etc...

amother

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 1:17 am

Your probably right but does a girl really gain so much from going or can she get the same thing in an American sem.

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 1:27 am

It depends on the girl. For some girls it's a total waste of a year, and some gain a ton. (Nothing to do with the 'situation', just rather the whole being away in E"Y in general.)

In my experience, I really gained a lot. I would have been happy to stay at home and go to a part day seminary and get a job, but my parents really wanted me to go. It was very good for me. I gained a level of independence that I NEVER would have gotten while living at home.

OTOH, some girls in my seminary spent the year trying out what seemed like every restaurant and tourist attraction in the country. (I actually recall them discussing if there was a single beach city in the country they had not yet been to, so that they could figure out where they would go next time they cut class!) For them... I'm not sure it was worth it.

But situation-wise, I think she'll be fine. In my seminary there was no internet, no radio, no ANY media whatsoever, and the seminary gave us restrictions as they saw fit - I.e. - "do not go to the kotel today". They never gave us any reason to stress or worry. And while I was there on a very calm year, whatever incidents did come up were treated seriously by the staff but not as a point of concern to the girls.

An example that comes to mind: at one point during the year, there was a need for an armed guard at the door to the seminary around the clock. So they got us one. They didn't make us worry, just explained the situation as is... the police recommend that we have security 24hrs at this point in time so we are complying. No stresses about why or what the big concern was. JUST enough information that we weren't in the dark, but unless you did your own research, you could just go along your daily life without worrying.

amother

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 1:36 am

Thanx for the info I'm still a little unsure but I do feel a bit calmer I still wonder if anyone is backing out

amother

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 1:42 am

Btw which sem did u attend

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 1:54 am

I'm sure some people are going to back out. I don't think they should.

If rather not post what seminary I went to, since I posted under my screen name.

amother

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 2:02 am

Thanx again I think I will think it through one more time I was ready to pull out but you did point out many things to me I really wasn't thinking objectively

shabri

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 2:38 am

I'm a little surprised your aunt in ramot is nervous to go to town. I go to town (and many other places) with my 4 kids under 7. Even my 4 yr old knows what to do in case of a siren. I'm not telling you what to do but I imagine an 18 yr old will be able to deal with it

freidasima

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 3:08 am

Is she going with friends? That also helps, not being "alone" here, and even having an aunt isn't the same as having girlfriends from home going to the same sem. One can't ignore the fact that we are at war, even though in Yerushalayim it's certainly calmer than in other areas of the country but few areas in EY right now can claim for the future that "nothing will happen here".

If she is anxious, it's worth re-thinking as no one can promise her anything. If you are anxious, it's worth re-thinking as noo ne can promise her anything. Everyone is different in this matter, whether here or abroad. For some here, life goes on totaly as usual and they are just a bit more aware that there "might" be a siren and look around when they enter someplace for the nearest shelter. Others don't even do that. In different areas of the country and particularly the south it's a frequent issue (sirens and mortars) and they treat it differently, however Yerushalayim is one of the calmer places regarding the war (but not necessarily daily life, lol! That's a whole different story).

Maybe sit down and have a long talk with your daughter and see what SHE thinks. Ask around what her friends are doing, ask the sem whether it is built with safe rooms and mamads etc. What the drill is for sirens (although recently there are many fewer as the home command and the iron dome protective missiles can also figure out exactly what the missile trajectory is, where it is supposed to land and only if it is defintely going into an inhabited area do they sound the sirens so that people can take shelter. You and she are the key, more than what people here in EY think. It's like someone from here traveling to NY after an incident where someone was pushed to their death on the subway tracks. That doesn't stop a million New Yorkers from using the subway that day, the next day and the next week but they are a bit more vigilant (hopefully). However someone from here, hearing that, might say "oy vey, NY is so dangerous and I am NEVER going to take the subway".

When you live with something constantly, even if it isn't good, it becomes part of your life even if one never "gets used" to it. One gets used to living alongside it, like with a chronic illness that has the capacity if it changes, to kill you, but right now it isn't changing so you just forge on.

Hatzlocho in whatever you decide to do!

amother

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 3:17 am

The real problem is that she doesn't really want to go at this point . Her friends are going to different semms, and besides my aunt who she barfly knows she has no one. I am so confused. I want her to be happy but I thought if she goes she wokldvgsin do much ruchnius wize

amother

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 3:20 am

One more thing the poster who posted her four year old knows what to do is because they've grown up like that I would imagine for a foreigner it may be quite scary

catonmylap

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 5:56 am

It sounds like there are lot of general nerves getting in the way..

It's pretty calm day-to-day in Yerushalayim. She will also be with a group and not alone....

I think she will regret it if she backs out.

When I went to seminary, I barely knew my Aunt and Uncle and met my 7 first cousins for the first time. She will develop a relationship with her Aunt and cousins if she has the opportunity and that will stay with her for the rest of her life. She will most likely make some great friends in seminary as well.

LisaS

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 7:23 am

I didn't read the other replies, so I don't know if I am being repetitive.

We live in Israel. My daughter is more anxious/sensitive than her peers and she has learned to live around her fears. When there is a tiyul to somewhere she is uncomfortable with she will stay home. She slept in the mamad for weeks just in case there might be a siren (we live in a place with BH very few sirens.) She won't walk alone at night. She'll cross to the other side of the street if she sees a dog. And so on. She has a full and happy life here, but just has learned to steer clear of things that make her nervous.

You can walk the streets of Jerusalem more safely than you can in NYC. Really, there is no reason to be concerned about sending her here, as long as you take normal precautions. And the fact that your daughter is careful is a plus. I'd be more concerned if your child was adventurous.

Sanguine

Thu, Aug 21 2014, 7:44 am

amother wrote:

She doesn't want to go. The war is just an excuse. Can you try to get her into a sem with friends? Even if she wasn't originally accepted in those, every place is getting some cancellations now and maybe she can get in now - That may change her whole attitude.

Also, try to speak with the madricha in the sem and have your daughter speak to her too. Any madricha who's been here this past month will very easily reassure you and your daughter that there's nothing to fear in Yerushalayim with a few sirens.

And stop speaking with your aunt. I don't know why she's so nervous. Speak with us. We're not nervous.

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Try to get this thread moved out of allergies. I almost didn't bother looking cause I thought it was a thread about hayfever

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