Lying

Posted: Tue, May 08 2007, 10:29 am Post subject: Lying

How to get an 8 year old out of the phase of lying, before it get's to be a habbit?!

I mean it seems to spike when her father visits, but I want it to stop now.

U know?

Posted: Wed, May 09 2007, 3:48 am Post subject: re: Lying

Tell her that she doesn't ever have to be afraid to tell the truth- she'll get into more trouble for telling a lie than to tell a not so pleasant truth.
And maybe teach her to say "I really wanted to lie, because I was afraid of getting punished, but I decided to tell you the truth instead, so please don't punish me." And if what she did isn't so bad, reward her for telling the truth by not punishing.

And maybe explain to her that you want to trust her, and if she lies sometimes, you won't know when to beleive her.

Posted: Wed, May 09 2007, 5:27 am Post subject: re: Lying

To add to all the above - If you're sure your child is lying, don't ask - just confront him with the facts: "I know that's not true." If you're not sure, it's usually preferable to give him the benefit of doubt.

And most important of all : be a good example and NEVER, EVER lie to your child!

Posted: Wed, May 09 2007, 5:42 am Post subject: re: Lying

...Or around your child.
For example, if someone calls but you're not interested in talking, never tell your kid to tell the person on the phone, "Sorry, my mommy isn't home."

Double standards never work!

My mother made sure to have the type of relationship with her kids that we weren't afraid to tell her things. She would always repeat to us "I'll still love you even if you do wrong things." Or maybe what she said was "Nothing you can ever do will make me love you less." So we weren't afraid that we'd lose her love if we told her the truth.

My mother used the techniques I wrote above, and I'll admit, it really worked. I only lied to her when I was older and a rebellious teen. But then I only lied temporarily- I always ended up admitting the truth to her afterwords, because I knew she would still love me no matter what.