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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note
Dreams about being mechalel Shabbos



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amother


 

Post Sun, Jul 27 2014, 10:19 am
I have had reoccurring dreams where I am using an I-device or watching tv on Shabbos. I always feel slightly guilty in the dreams but also (in the dream) try to justify it away. Its not always the same circumstances, and the dream itself is not always on Shabbos. Sometimes I go months without having these dreams, other times they are only a few weeks apart. Its never driving, or turning on lights or writing or going to work or buying anything.

In real life, I am fine keeping Shabbos. I have no desire to use my electronics on Shabbos and I don't resent being Shomer Shabbos. I love this lifestyle. While I was not raised frum, it is something I wholeheartedly accept and love.

I can't figure out why I am having these dreams. The only thing that I can think of, and this seems farfetched, was something that happened over a dozen years ago.

When I was becoming frum, I spent a lot of time with a nice religious family. The issue is, when the husband and children went to shul, the wife would tell me " I know you aren't religious, you can use the computer. If you happen to want to go to log in as me and open my email that's fine. If you want to type XYZ in a chat to my friend, that's fine. If you want to look at ZYX website and find out ABC that's fine." In other words she used me. While I am not in direct contact with her anymore, I am still very close to the rest of her family. They ended up getting divorced for other reasons. I did tell one of her children about it years later, and it didn't surprise that person.

This is the only connection I see to my dreams, and as I said, it is farfetched. so why do I have these dreams?
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causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 27 2014, 10:25 am
please dont worry about your dreams. most dreams are nonsense.

as for that lady- wow that is horrible. she is so off its unbelievable. a jew is not allowed to ask another jew to be mechalel shabbos no matter what their religious status is. she should have just used the computer herself. It probably would have been less wrong in my opinion
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jul 27 2014, 10:32 am
causemommysaid wrote:
please dont worry about your dreams. most dreams are nonsense.

as for that lady- wow that is horrible. she is so off its unbelievable. a jew is not allowed to ask another jew to be mechalel shabbos no matter what their religious status is. she should have just used the computer herself. It probably would have been less wrong in my opinion


Oh, I know- even at the time I sort of knew- but it was also the thrill of the forbidden-at the time. Now I look back at that time with a lot of anger at her, and at myself for not saying 'no' sooner. She was doing it that way so she could honestly maintain SHE was never mechalel Shabbos.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jul 27 2014, 10:32 am
I've had the same dreams!!! I never had a situation like yours when I was becoming frum but that is very sad to hear.
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PAMOM




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 27 2014, 10:45 am
Think of your dreams as the choice you didn't make. A real part of you considered how frum you wanted ( and want ) to be and then moved on, but the choosing was still part of your life. Why should the dream indicate regret or longing as opposed to the recognition that you made a choice that changed your life for the better? A dream can be a reminder of what you've accomplished.
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little_mage




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 27 2014, 12:51 pm
I've had similar dreams. Just recently I had one that I made a quesidilla on Shabbat, but it was okay because I had left the stove on. I'm also a BT, and kind of liked having the dreams, because it meant, to me, that I had finally actually internalized being religious.
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 27 2014, 12:58 pm
That lady is shock

I met a chareidi Israeli lady on holiday who was happily using a secular Jewish lady as her shabbos [gentile] every week. When I pointed out the incongruity to her she said, "Why should I believe her when she says she's Jewish?"
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Success10




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 27 2014, 1:08 pm
I used to have these dreams in high school. I was MO but became more Yeshivish. I think it stemmed from some insecurity, like, a fear that I might transgress Shabbos, not the actual desire to do so. In general, I became more frum out of fear of punishment, which is not a terrible reason to do so, but the ideal is to do it out of love. I have much healthier attitudes towards Shabbos and Judaism in general now, and I can't recall the last time I had a dream like that.
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ElTam




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 27 2014, 1:28 pm
I have no desire to be mechalel Shabbos and I also have such dreams. I dream I am driving down the street when I see people walking to shul and I didn't know it was Shabbos, etc. I don't think it means anything and I don't worry about it. If you aren't breaking Shabbos, it doesn't matter.
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