daughter's pesach chart help!

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Daughter's pesach chart help!

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amother

Tue, Apr 22 2014, 11:20 pm

Do I lie and make checks in all boxes even though she didn't do everything? Or do I mark it truthfully & hope my child isn't the only one not getting the promised prize??
She's in the second grade. The chart is about basic things like davening & saying tehillim every day of pesach.
She did try to remember to do the the required things but didn't actually do them every day.

What would you do????

Rutabaga

Tue, Apr 22 2014, 11:31 pm

Oh dear. You just reminded me that I completely forgot to pack my daughter's pesach homework. She will not be happy to do it all tomorrow. Oh well.

momtra

Tue, Apr 22 2014, 11:54 pm

Are you sure that they only get a prize for completing all the boxes?In second grade?!? Sheesh!
I would not lie about that - if she doesn't "qualify " for a prize from teacher - give her a prize yourself for the things she DID accomplish.

achayl

Wed, Apr 23 2014, 12:00 am

what a flashback memory.... I used to hate those charts! Sorry no help, just sympathy!

pobody's nerfect

Wed, Apr 23 2014, 1:39 am

As a second grade teacher, I have one box to check off that says "davened (most) days of yontif". I focus on praising accomplishments rather than penalizing imperfection.

Happy Go Lucky

Wed, Apr 23 2014, 1:50 am

I would be honest- this is a good opportunity to teach honesty to a child.
Reward her at home for what she did accomplish.

groisamomma

Wed, Apr 23 2014, 1:55 am

This year I opened my big mouth at Back-to-School Night and in front of everyone I told the second grade teacher how her charts have turned me into a liar over the years. What do you know? The other mothers chimed in and this year I haven't seen a single chart from her all year, not even a weekly Shabbos chart. Nothing.

As for my older DD, I conveniently "lose" her chart sometime over Y"T then I write her a beautiful note about all the wonderful things she did over the entire Y"T. You can be general, I'm not too specific so it only highlights all the good things she did and glosses over the few she forgot. My son is B"H old enough to fill in and take back his own chart...then again, he is responsible enough to check it every day and do everything on it so it doesn't put me or him in an uncomfortable position. Not every child does well with charts and I've come to despise them.

ttbtbm

Wed, Apr 23 2014, 1:57 am

The teacher will probably give prizes to every child that returns the chart. I think my children all got prizes for those charts no matter how much or how little was filled in. As long as it was signed and some checks were there.

cinnamon

Wed, Apr 23 2014, 2:28 am

I always mark all the boxes.
I remember my mom marking all the boxes for me even though I didn't do everything.

ElTam

Wed, Apr 23 2014, 2:30 am

I would not lie for my child. One of my children did her Pesach packet. The other didn't. The prize wasn't worth it to her. If she is dissappointed when her friends get the prize, perhaps that will motivate her in future. BTW, DD who did not do packet is in second grade.

amother

Thu, Apr 24 2014, 8:39 pm

Last year ds's chart included a kibbud av va'em column with a 1-10 rating. 10 said it was for "practically a malach" so almost none of us gave 10's, and it turns out there was a difference between 9 and 10 for the reward.

This year, there was again a rating of 1-10, but it was for: "My son worked on his kibbud av va'em", which I love. I easily gave him a 10. He made some major mistakes, but recognized them and worked on doing better the next time.

Dd's chart? Checked off almost all the davenings, she remembered she didn't daven erev chag and crossed it out; we left tehillim blank because we both completely forgot about it. She's a pretty honest child. Though in the past with other kids I've embellished without checking everything, just so it doesn't look too shvach.

I like that "Lose the chart write a note" idea!

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