We slept on the living room floor

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amother

Mon, Apr 07 2014, 10:12 pm

We were recently guests and had to sleep on sleeping bags in the living room- me, dh, and 2 kids (ok, one was in a pack n play, but still, in the living room). They didn't want to shift their kids around to make room for us because then they'd be "off schedule". We were only staying 2 nights. Had we known ahead of time, we'd have made alternate arrangements. Anyway, we are now recovering (THEIR kids' schedules may be intact, but ours certainly aren't now), and I'm just wondering why they even bothered to host. This was for a simcha and the baalei simcha set it all up, we didn't invite ourselves over or anything. I'm just really annoyed. I understand schedules, though I personally think it's not the end of the world to let them go for a few days, but if you really aren't willing to do that for whatever reason, can't you just not host? If this family was not willing to sacrifice schedule, they should have just sid they were not in a position to host, not put a whole family on the living room floor...

DrMom

Mon, Apr 07 2014, 10:17 pm

Sounds like a rough couple of days. I hope the simcha was at least nice.

Maybe the baalei simcha pressured them to host even though they weren't 100% comfortable with the idea.

Maybe the baalei simcha arranged it with the father but the mother didn't agree (or vise-versa), so they made a compromise.

greenfire

Mon, Apr 07 2014, 10:20 pm

although camping out in the living room could be fun ~ I would definitely warn someone of floor arrangements ...

amother

Mon, Apr 07 2014, 10:23 pm

did the living room have a door to close? Was the room open???

If there was a door maybe they figured it could be like any bedroom ...

causemommysaid

Mon, Apr 07 2014, 10:23 pm

some people are just plain weird. sorry you had to meet some recently...

Happy18

Mon, Apr 07 2014, 10:24 pm

That's really strange. It's one thing to say you don't have enough beds and kids need to double up or sleep in mattresses on the floor or something, but to put people in sleeping bags is just plain weird.

monseychick

Mon, Apr 07 2014, 10:25 pm

We have done that loads of times.. Its fun LOL

But we dont have children

MiracleMama

Mon, Apr 07 2014, 10:27 pm

I can see doing that if hosting teens. I would be so embarrassed to do that to a family. I've taken all my kids in to sleep with us in our bedroom (a fun adventure for my kids - a nuisance to dh - super miserable for me) to make guests feel at home with proper accommodations that I'd want when I'm the guest. And when I really can't provide proper accommodations (I.e. we already have other guests and have shifted people around as much as we can) I warn whoever is asking to stay, "sure, but the best I can give you for this shabbos is a blow up mattress in the playroom" or whatever so they know in advance what they're getting into.
Oh, well. Now you have a story to tell.

StripedFlower

Mon, Apr 07 2014, 11:22 pm

amother wrote:

This is one of the craziest, weirdest, rudest, most disgusting thing I've ever read on this site.

Don't let the apologists here make you think what you went through was normal It wasn't. It isn't. It's beyond offensive.

I can't believe there are such weird people in the gene pool.

/end rant.

Lady Bug

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 12:04 am

I can't imagine anyone would do that without prior warning. The warning must of gotten lost somewhere in the line of communication between them, you, and the baalei simcha.

bookworm10

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 12:14 am

That sounds completely insane.

I would have left.

I have had some crazy experiences as a seminary girl, and those were horrible enough. But a floor as a married couple- with children? No way!

And you stayed more than one night? Wow. I would inform the Balei Simcha not to host people there again.

DrMom

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 2:35 am

StripedFlower wrote:

Someone's in the mood for hyperbole. Smile

Okay, it's definitely non-ideal, but having to camp out in someone's living room for a couple of days is WAY less crazy than lots of other stuff I've read here. An it's far from the "most disgusting" thing I've read here...
Do I need to give specific examples?

StripedFlower

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 7:14 am

DrMom wrote:

Someone's in the mood for hyperbole. Smile

Well, yes, it was a bit extreme but it drives me nuts when people behave that way.

And, dear, "non-ideal" is just reverse hyperbole...

Cookie Monster

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 7:20 am

Just my two cents. People who are so afraid to "mess up" their kids' routine for a couple of days, to the point of making adults sleep on the floor, are "messing" their kids up in a much more permanent way.

saw50st8

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 7:24 am

Cookie Monster wrote:

I disagree. My kids really don't do well off schedule. We aren't going to let them stay up for seder because it will wreak havoc on them. They need their sleep.

That being said, if I couldn't provide moderately nice accomodations, I would decline. Or tell the host family "We can provide sleeping bags on the floor."

amother

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 7:25 am

DrMom wrote:

Someone's in the mood for hyperbole. Smile

Please do. I vote for the rubber gloves.

amother

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 7:47 am

Honestly, I wouldn't be happy with those arrangements either but a lot has to do with the hosts own standards. As a kid I used to visit my cousins a lot. They had a one bedroom (in Brooklyn) with five kids. They only had one small bed in master bedroom to make room for office. My aunt slept on the bed my uncle on the floor. They had a highriser making up their "couch" in the living room and bookcases making up walls to separate the "living room/dining room" and "den" (which was the width of a loveseat and the length of a piano). Their kitchen had a tiny sink, small fridge/freezer, sink and four tiles of floor space. Still, they LOVED having company. They obviously couldn't have too many people at once but they'd give up their bed to a guest while they slept on the floor of the "den", and the kids beds (the daybed shared by all of them) they slept under the table to accommodate guests. Some may have found it weird (to be fair, it's not exactly normal) but they gave the guests their best accommodations and they seemed to love it.

I was also kind of hoping for something similar for us this Pesach. Staying by the inlaws in not the best neighborhood and sleeping by my relatives ten minute walk away. I'm not comfortable with the walk so late at night and the neighbor who would be thrilled to have us doesn't have very private accommodations (no lock on door, share bathroom, next door to her bedroom with super creeky floors). I wish I could stay on a blow up mattress in her basement. Would be so much more practical and convenient but no way to ask that and not sound obnoxious.

Either way, doesn't sound like your hosts had these issues and I'm sorry you went through that. I'd think they should have informed you of the accommodations they could provide and given you the choice of finding somewhere else to stay.

amother

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 8:37 am

amother wrote:

Either way, doesn't sound like your hosts had these issues and I'm sorry you went through that. I'd think they should have informed you of the accommodations they could provide and given you the choice of finding somewhere else to stay.

They could have informed OP's relatives who said it was fine. I understand the hosts because I get all kinds of pressure from strangers to host other strangers. The simcha could have been during the week and having 4 strangers in your house is big imposition. When they tried to say no they can't do it, the relatives pleaded and begged and said itwas fine. Perhaps they tried to accommodate everyone as best they can.

rosenbal

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 8:44 am

That is very weird. Maybe not for adolescent relatives...but very weird for adults...let alone adult strangers. They shouldn't be offering to host sleepover guests unless it's guests stuck in a snowstorm at shkiya on Friday or something like that. THEN, it's called an adventure and chessed etc.

People going out of town to simchas, as much as it's a mitzvah to go, are also putting themselves out and can expect some sort of relaxing accommodations (whatever a normal standard would be considered for hosting guests in that community) when out of town.

piece

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 8:54 am

I haven't heard of something so bizarre in my life. I cant even think of something that wouldn't be judging the hosts.
this is plainly not the norm, adults sleep on beds & they can mention to bring sleeping bags for the kids; you didn't plan a camping trip in the woods.

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