Do you make your husband's lunch?

Ruchel

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 7:58 am

I was told to resist the "spoiling" urge in shana rishona, like these amothers who make daily 2 3 course meals etc. Because one day IYH they get pregnant and/or a job or whatever... and then everything changes and the dh is upset (and if there's a baby he may event resent it unconsciously).

Sorry for my spelling today, I'm exhausted

saw50st8

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 7:58 am

I used to make sure there were enough leftovers when I made dinner for lunch for both of us.

Now DH has access to cheap lunches ($2.50 for a LARGE kosher lunch). He eats that and has a light dinner now. Its the best perk of his job.

cinnamon

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 8:11 am

RachelEve14 wrote:

zaq wrote:

A woman could get sucked into being a virtual slave to her dh if she started doing all kinds of things for him that he is perfectly capable of doing himself. Which is fine if you're not working and have no kids or don't mind being a virtual slave.

I'm perfectly capable of taking out the garbage, putting away my laundry, and washing floors and bathrooms, yet dh does these jobs 90% of the time. It's called being a partnership and helping each other out, not being a virtual slave.

This.

I work full time and dh is in kollel. We are both out of the house a lot and I make him lunch whenever I can.
There are some days I can't for whatever reason and then he manages perfectly well but we both feel so much better on days that I was able to make lunch.

Ruchel

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 8:20 am

If you work FT maybe he can make you lunch? every other day? or something.

When I was working and he was in kollel and not working at all, I certainly would not have felt bad not doing all these things.

oohlala

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 8:55 am

I make his lunch. I work part time, he works full time. But that's not really the point...My husband does a lot of stuff for me and I know he hates cutting up a salad, so I'll do it for him, and it's not a huge deal. Sometimes it gets annoying, but usually it's fine.

oohlala

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 8:56 am

Also, my husband works out in the middle of nowhere where there is no possibility of buying a kosher lunch...if he doesn't bring his own, he's stuck. So lunch for him is very important.

Ruchel

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 9:08 am

Except at one of his jobs and at the kollel, there was also nothing kosher around to buy for mine.
I doplenty of stuff I like and plenty I dislike. That's grown up life (and actually should be child or certainly teen life if we don't want them to be spoiled).

smss

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 9:54 am

he usually gets at kollel. there was a period of time when he was doing something else during lunch & couldn't go to the yeshiva lunch, so then I usually made him sandwiches. he makes my lunch sometimes too, so don't everyone start worrying about slavery Smile

Fabulous

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 9:58 am

zaq wrote:

You also left out an option "No--and he doesn't eat lunch". I can think of more than one person who simply skips lunch if nobody makes it for him (or her).

yup! I try to make it when I can because if not he will eat breakfast and often skip lunch Sad

because he is simply too busy and forgets

mommyhood

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 10:04 am

RachelEve14 wrote:

zaq wrote:

This exactly.
I usually make dh lunch. We both work full time but dh goes out to learn at night so I have more time. My kids don't get lunch in school and dh basically eats whatever I'm making for them so it's not a big deal to make him lunch.

nechami1

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 11:02 am

Ye, I do. I make dh sandwiches every single day as he works about 30 mins away from home. I have been doing this for 11 years already. On the odd occasion he will buy a salad but I do it otherwise.... the only time I have off is yom tov or public holidays when he doesn't work.

oatmealcookies

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 11:25 am

I pack dh breakfast, lunch and snack along with a short sweet note almost everyday (except fridays when theres chulent and kugel in the office Smile

). I do it because I want him to eat a healthyish meal and snacks and not just grab a bag of chips and a coffee or come home starving. I know he appreciates when I make it for him and I enjoy doing it Smile

. I def dont think its spoiling him, if anything its benefitting me because hes not spending big bucks on take out.

chocolate chips

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 11:55 am

I used to make his when I did mine every night and I loved it. I would leave little notes and put funny things in...guaranteed phone call every day at 12 Wink

When he changed jobs he stopped taking lunch really and usually just eats whichever cookies he buys at the beginning of the week and keeps at work. Occasionally he buys. Very very occasionally he buys rolls and I make him or he makes himself lunch usually me because he wont do it for himself.
Like others said its not considered a spoiling thing he takes out the garbage, makes my drinks and my bed I make his lunch. Next.

zigi

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 12:03 pm

he makes his own lunch. I do make sure that there is something that he can eat at home or take with him. a lot of the time it means eating leftovers

momX4

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 12:30 pm

I am a SAHM and make my DH's lunch everyday. When I don't Dh doesnt eat lunch and comes home in a crappy mood. There are so many stores nearby, but DH is to cheap.

marina

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 1:03 pm

SS6099 wrote:

I married almost 11 years and I missed maybe a total of 5 days. He eats sandwiches so its my pleasure Smile

do enjoy http://300sandwiches.com/introduction/

seeker

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 1:06 pm

Sometimes. We both have busy lives but I am more of a kitchen type of person and I do it healthier, tastier, and more economically. I don't always have time but when I can I like to treat him. It's not a slavish thing, it's called doing nice things for people we love. It's an investment in a relationship where both people feel cared for. I don't keep score. He does other things for me/us.

perquacky

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 1:48 pm

We both work full time, but my husband is the family chef and does most of the cooking and food shopping. So he usually makes my lunch when he makes his--he also does it because he wants me to eat better and I have a history of eating junk for lunch!

But he draws the line at making lunch for the kids--unless it involves using the oven. Our kids are all old enough to mash up an egg for an egg salad sandwich or to spread butter or cream cheese on a bagel. Gotta train them young!

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 1:51 pm

perquacky wrote:

This, exactly. I remember when my brother, who is now 24, was about 10 years old and he was beginning to make his lunch every night for school the next day. He put so much into his sandwiches, with his efforts, it was great. And now, almost 15 years later, he makes great sandwiches and great salads and can take care of himself.
Start kids young and then they wont have any expectations!!!

zaq

Mon, Oct 28 2013, 2:10 pm

RachelEve14 wrote:

zaq wrote:

Might I point out that you BOTH generate trash, laundry, and dirty floors and bathrooms. If dh takes care of these jobs 90% of the time, then you certainly should be doing something else to pull your own weight. But I'm guessing that in most households where wifeypoo makes hubster lunch, hubster is NOT doing chores 90% of the time. I'll be delighted to be proven wrong.