DS says he's going to "kill" people

My 4 year old has been saying the past couple of days "I'm going to kill you" to his brother and sisters. I think it's because of learning about Chanuka, and Purim, and the Paroh -- all about people killing the Jews. But I don't think he really understands.

I don't like him saying this, but not sure how to address it. I told him I didn't want him to say it. I told him, sort of, what killing means, not sure if he got it. And all that just made him say it more.

Maybe I should ignore? It's really not nice though. Confused

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 20 2006 Posts: 5705

It's probably language he picked up in school. It surely isnt something he made up. He heard it from somewhere. Even the kids he heard it from may not know what they mean but they too heard it as an expression. You can sit down with him and tell him you know his friends say that, or whatever, but maybe they dont know it is something really not nice/bad/scary, etc (you decide the language) to say. Sometimes it's hard to stop saying something you get used to saying, etc. But saying "I am going to kill you" is not something you want him to say, and especially not in your house. If he is upset about something, give him language he CAN use in place of "I am going to kill you."
I dont know his level of understanding so of course you may have to adjust some of what I say for his age, but that is the jist.

Posted: Wed, Feb 28 2007, 4:26 pm Post subject:

I may join him Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed, Feb 28 2007, 6:31 pm Post subject:

Have you read the book �how to talk so�� it tells you about kids coming home from school saying things like �my teacher is a freaking stupid idiot� how you�re supposed to handle it. Number one, the child is angry so address that emotion, rather than rebuke him for the terminology he used for expressing his feelings.

Unproductive Conversation:

Child: My teacher is a stupid retarded meshugenner!
You: hey, young man, watch your language there
Child: yeh, he�s a stupid head I�m never going back to school again
You: whoa, hold it right there, what�s� going on here!

Productive conversation:

Child: My teacher is a stupid retarded meshugenner!
You: I see that you are so so upset today
Child: Yes, because you know why?! He did this�. And the story comes out

I think that most small children do and say things to test and experience different reactions in others. Haven't you ever seen a little one do a deliberately dastardly deed and then look up to register your response? Also, I sub in a cheder where I assume that there are no televisions in the homes. Somehow these little ones always manage to turn the KNex building toys that
I bring into guns and other weapons. Where do the get it from? Maybe neighborhood kids? So we say over and over "no weapons in cheder." Maybe you need a simple mantra such as "yidden don't kill people".

Posted: Wed, Feb 28 2007, 7:23 pm Post subject:

yeah withhumor that's in a perfect worldl
_________________
don't wonder why people go crazy ... rather wonder why we don't
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NUTso but cute ~ things balance out Nervous

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 30 2004 Posts: 4367

my 5 yr old marched thru the door today after school and said to me "MURDER means to KILL" right mommy?
I said yess-- where did you learn that?
in school he says.
why I ask? trying to see what context its in- he says my friends were telling me that and we asked morah and she told us what it meant.
I'm like ok- but you know its a bad thing to do?
he says I know, but I like the word!
oy
_________________
girl - 12 ys. * girl - 10 ys. * boy - 9 ys. * boy - 7 ys. * girl -5 years *boy 4 ys. *baby boy - 2 ys.

when kids are spoiled they are fresh.

Posted: Thu, Mar 01 2007, 4:03 pm Post subject:

My DS went through a phase a few weeks ago of saying "kill, kill" I said once that I don't like him saying things like that and then ignored it, and he actually hasn't said it since.
I also felt he was saying it to see what my reaction would be and that he must have picked it up from other kids.
I must admit that I'm glad that he gave that up pretty quickly.

I do not blame your son.My nephew (9 ys old)always says;What are Jewish holidays all about?
We were in trouble
the non jews wanted to kill us
Hashem saved us
Let's celebrate and eat.....