Baby in Your Bed | Imamother

sugaray

Sun, Feb 20 2005, 4:07 pm

my baby (4 months) has been in my bed with me since he was born and now I actually would like him to sleep on his own but I cant seem to get him to do that! he is so used to sleeping with me that he cries and cries in his own crib. I hate letting him cry (although I know this is probably the only way to teach him). any advice on how to transition him to his own bed (in a way that might be a little easier on me?! Sad

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technic

Sun, Feb 20 2005, 5:24 pm

slrb good luck!!! -the only thing that ever got a child OUT of my bed was moving the next baby IN, the prospect of which gave us the koach 2 stick with controlled crying!!!...when our last was born, she slept in my bed until she was 4 embarrassed

...I was starting 2 pray that id like her future hubby(iyh) cos I thought hed b joining me 2,since SHE didnt seem 2 b going anywhere shock

...the only advice I can give u is 2 b tough cos they all "get it" eventually and ull just kick urself that u didnt start earlier...but I KNOW its hard:(

micki

Sun, Feb 20 2005, 7:33 pm

4 mo. is not too late. buy a co sleeper. put a pillowcase that you have used for a month with no washings ok maybe not a month... but for a while and use it as a sheet for the co sleeper. a co sleeper is a bed about half the size of a pack n' play that has 3 sides. the open side attaches to your bed. put baby to sleep in the co sleeper and they will think they are in your bed cause of the pillowcase which smells like you. you'll find baby in your bed in the beginnig but as they learn to sleep longer and longer then you can eventually transfer themt o their own cribs.

klotzkashe

Mon, Mar 21 2005, 7:32 am

I've been sleeping with my 3 mo son since day 1 and loving it. OK I have a King sized bed so it's not such an issue for me - he sleeps about a metre away from me and I can just reach over int he night to check on him and there's not really any way that I could roll over him during the night. however oon the odd occassion when I've fell asleep while nursing I can also say that I would not roll over him...it just couldnt' happen. I've slept alot more lightly since I've had him because I'm so nervous about his breathing. I keep the area aroudn him very clear o fall blankets, pillows etc.
the way that I make sure the blanket wont' go over him c'v is that I tuck my blanket UNDER him so that if it was moving in that direction it wuld probably wake him up before it covered him
I love co sleeping and I really see how he benefits from it - I think it is cruel to tear a baby form the closeness that it felt being in its mothers womb into a crib. western society has dictated to us that babies my sleep in their own beds, I believe the more natural way (animalistic in a way...) of taking care of children is to really nurture them - sleepign w/ their mothers is the most beautiful thing and they feel so safe and secure smelling their mother right near them
ok enough ranting it's too late at night. im going to join my baby in bed now!

IndyMom

Mon, Mar 21 2005, 8:20 am

I love sleeping with my babies! Our first wasn't breastfed and I wanted that closeness at night with him since I felt imissed out on breastfeeding. Of course, sincei got pregnant right away he spent most nights sleeping with daddy cuz I didn't want anything near me. The second was breastfed adn I loved having him next to me since he could nurse and I could sleep. I moved the younger one to his crib at 10 months and the transition was really easy for him. I had 2 nights where I watched the clock for 10 minutes adn told myself I would go in there if he was still crying after 10 minutes, but both nights he fell asleep almost right away. The older one, goes to sleep inhis toddler bed, but ends up in my husbands bed at least half the week. he gets a treat anytime he stays in his own bed until its light out.

As an EMT, I haven't actually been to any SIDS cases, but we review all the cases that we have quarterly. SIDS is a genetic or unknown disorder. It has nothing to do with crib or cosleeping. The baby just stops breathing for unknown causes. Sometimes, when a baby is accidentally smothered, they will call it SIDS to not give the parents anymore grief - but usually SIDS is something that can't be stopped. Although the "back to sleep" campaign seems to have taken SIDS down, it has not been proven to have any actual correlation.

Also, the physcian who is medical director of our EMS is anticosleeping becuase he saw three babies die of suffocation, but on further probing I found that twice the mother was drinking or on drugs, and once the father had fallen asleep with his son on the couch and the son got caught between the dad adn the couch cushions. NOT what I call safe cosleeping. Sometimes people make these decisions based on their experiences, but they don't see a whole picture.

1stimer

Mon, Mar 21 2005, 11:22 am

indymom, ur post got me thinking.

Idea

theoretically, say mum and baby have been happily and safely co-sleeping, then mum gets sick and has to take medication which makes her drowsy. Baby has been co-sleeping for 8 months and won't go near his cot, let alone think of sleeping in it. So out of desperation, mum takes him into bed with her, thinking that when he falls asleep she will move beds, but being sick and exhausted she falls asleep b4 baby... and they are not co-sleeping safely.

our children's lives are so precious that maybe the risk of co-sleeping are too high

Question

deedee

Mon, Mar 21 2005, 12:16 pm

Quote:

risk of co-sleeping are too high

I think the benifits out weight the risk. co sleeping is a choice that you make. just like you choose to put your baby in a crib. if you are on medication or had to much to drink then its your resposibility as a parent to choose to put baby in a crib or sleep somewhere else!

IndyMom

Mon, Mar 21 2005, 12:36 pm

When I have been in that situation, I have given the baby to my husband to sleep with and he just nudges me when the baby needs to nurse - but the baby usually gets some of the medication in the breastmilk anyway and is out for the night. I am able to do that becuase my husband is so small and there is lots of room for baby on his bed. I know most people have husbands who are larger and therefore are more fearful of their spouse smothering the baby.

IndyMom

Mon, Mar 21 2005, 3:00 pm

Shoy, you are saying that as if there are not risks of putting a baby in the crib. If your baby is right next to you you are more likely to hear them if anything is wrong. I really feel like it is much safer to have my baby right next to me and to be in the same sleep rhythm as me. There is actually a professor at the University of Notre Dame who has done many studies on the safety and benefits of cosleeping. I think his name is Dr. McKenna and I am sure a google search would turn up his studies.

IndyMom

Mon, Mar 21 2005, 3:18 pm

I googled his name myself and came up with tons of articles on colsleeping. Here is a link to just a few, but they seem to be recent. McKenna actually says that its possible that the baby hearing the stirring of his mother through the night keeps him from falling into a deep state of sleep which is dangerous for babies who are prone to SIDS since that is where they actually stop breathing and are unable to wake themselves up. A baby sleeping alone wouldn't have that benefit and could therefore be more at risk for SIDS. Again, SIDS is a mystery to health professionals, and this is only a theory that McKenna's data seems to suggest, just like putting babies "back to sleep" is based on data that seems to suggest that it helps - but there is no actual proof.

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/media.html

shoy18

Mon, Mar 21 2005, 9:13 pm

im not saying a crib is any safter when it comes to SIDS. what I was refering to was smothering, and baby suffocating under a pillow or blanket, being wedged between the wall and a bed... etc.. obviously you'll wake up if these things happen in your bed but who's to say thier wont be damage already done? these things dont USUALLY happen in a "safe"crib (safe meaning no pillows, heavy blankets, toys...)

also they say never to put a baby to sleep in a bed when you are not with them, so where do you put your baby when your not sleeping, this is not a nasty remark, im really curious.

IndyMom

Mon, Mar 21 2005, 9:34 pm

I'm not sure if you are basing your claims on actual statistics or if you just think its more likely for a baby to be smothered in bed. As far as I know, practicing safe co-sleeping is just as safe (if not safer) for babies as putting babies in a crib and it lets mother get more rest, which is much safer for her children.

My first son didn't go to sleep until we did. He was the first so we had him on a REALLY bad schedule, but it worked for us at the time.

My second son really only slept in my bed at night, and I would breastfeed him to sleep and fall asleep with him. During the day he would nap in the car seat, crib, sling, my arms, wherever I was around.

sugaray

Mon, Mar 21 2005, 10:40 pm

I heard of someone who has a safety bar on her bed to keep her kids from falling out. how hilarious is that! LOL

I actually love sleeping with my baby. besides the closeness, its so convenient! I nurse him in my sleep if he cries. if he slept in a crib, id have to get up and lose a lot more sleep. the thing is, a baby has to learn how to comfort himself and by you always being next to him to hold him, nurse him, etc. he wont learn to calm and comfort himself. ive been advised by many ppl to get him to sleep on his own so we're working on it...