Next door Neighbor opened store in her house

bamamama

Mon, May 13 2013, 12:28 am

Team Live and Let Live.

OP, if the situation is as you describe (only really busy before YT every 15 min or so), I wouldn't report. You can always speak to her or report her if things get worse. I almost opened a business out of my home and never thought twice about asking my neighbours. DH had been in an accident and we needed extra parnassa to eat and pay the mortgage. My business idea didn't pan out so it never happened. What I mean is, we never really know the ins and outs of someone else's situation...

amother

Mon, May 13 2013, 12:38 am

My neighbors attached to me smoke weed every day. Even though the strong smell often lingers in my house I never reported them. I'd rather have an ok relationship with neighbors. You never know when your gona need them.

As far as cars outside, if they are blocking your driveway I'd put up a sign,ask my neighbor politely that her customers should not block it. If its just cars coming and going thats no big deal and that can happen anywhere. Its not pleasant living with neighbors with a business, (apprently my neighbors arent just smoking it) but thats life. In my opinion it would have been nice of her to ask permission from you, not necessary.

amother

Mon, May 13 2013, 12:44 am

Op here
I guess I won't go and report her. At least not now. I do think it is chutzpah for her to open a store in her house. Even if she needs money she can be a teacher. I know she has the opportunity to take a teaching job. She decided she can make more money opening a store. Even though it is on my expense.

amother

Mon, May 13 2013, 12:49 am

Op here again.
I can talk to her about the hours but even on a regular day schedule I didn't buy my house in a place that everybody is passing by and examining my life. I bought a house in a quiet street in order to have privacy. It is just not right and I doubt if it is allowed by Halacha.

Barbara

Mon, May 13 2013, 1:08 am

amother wrote:

Maybe if you could explain the manner in which other people are "examining your life" as a result of your neighbor's activities, we could help you to change things.

Shmerling

Mon, May 13 2013, 1:29 am

amother wrote:

You bought your house, not the block.

amother

Mon, May 13 2013, 1:37 am

Shmerling wrote:

amother wrote:

You bought your house, not the block.

I bought a house in a residential area. Not in a business area.

Mon, May 13 2013, 1:50 am

It sounds like you have a right to be upset, but I think you're overreacting. One lady having a store in a basement is not turning your block into a business district. I've gone to stores in peoples' houses - I don't think I EVER noticed anything about the neighbors, even if they were outside playing.

You say you live in a small community. Wait until after the yomim tovim - the heavy traffic to her store will stop, and will probably pick up again before Tishrei. You're going to have to make a choice: either have people think lowly of you for reporting her, or taking her to bais din, whichever route you choose; or to deal with the people coming to the store and passing by your house.

It's your choice. I agree that you should consult with a rabbi before taking any action. An idea might be to put up a fence around your property - some people call it a spite-fence, and in this situation it would be!

amother

Mon, May 13 2013, 2:07 am

kb wrote:

Op here
Thanks for your kind words. I will try to put on a fence when I can save enough money to pay for it. I still think that as a frum person she assumed I won't report her even though she is doing an illegal business.

BeershevaBubby

Mon, May 13 2013, 2:13 am

I think maybe you should try and negotiate a compromise... ask her to please limit her hours and no parking on the block.

If she refuses, then I would go to the landlord and perhaps threaten with going to the authorities if she doesn't agree to the compromise (and make sure she sticks to it).

ValleyMom

Mon, May 13 2013, 2:31 am

be grateful its not a DAY CARE!!!!
One of our neighbors (Thank GOD down the street) opened a day care and that is BEYOND annoying.

Can you imagine hearing whiney crying children all day and they arent even YOURS??!

Plus there are LOTS of cars going in and out of infant care.

At any rate, just be a decent neighbor.

I would not rat her out.

HOWEVER I would be very ticked off I someone blocked my driveway.

Maybe paint the driveway and curb in front of your house as a not-so-subtle reminder for people to not block your driveway.

Good lUck!

Mon, May 13 2013, 3:27 am

Actually, my parents' neighbor is an older bachelor who really likes privacy, and I believe he charged the people who owned the house before us to put up the fence. But you may be able to work something out with the storeowner - tell her you don't like all her customers walking by your house.... and would she be willing to split the cost of a fence so that you can have the privacy.

And I don't know how much of a do-it-yourselfer you are, but at home depot it looks like fences aren't that expensive:
http://www.homedepot.com/p/Ver.....V22K8

sarahd

Mon, May 13 2013, 3:56 am

amother wrote:

Wow.

Whose privacy is being invaded here? You know that she could have had a teaching job and therefore has no business doing something else for parnassa? How do you come off deciding for someone else what they should do to earn a living.

I am with those who think you're overreacting. I am also shocked at the people who are telling you to report her. Is this today's attitude? Snitch on your neighbor if she does something to annoy you? Ugh. In my days no one would have dreamed of doing such a thing. And if you do consider it, remember this is your neighbor. You're going to have to continue living with her and also with the rest of your community, who will find out who it was who reported her to the authorities and killed her business.

Clarissa, there is a difference reporting your neighbor so her business gets shut down and reporting a big impersonal business for parking illegally, which doesn't harm their entire business.

amother

Mon, May 13 2013, 7:29 am

I am with the OP here. Something similar happened to me. I lived on a quiet block. Someone opened a business and I complained to the owner. Her customers' children have come onto my property. I saw them go INTO my house without permission. I am building a new room.

I went to the neighbor and her answer was to put up a fence. I should have reported her instead of complaining. There are now cars coming and going on a previously quiet block. The play area for the kids is destroyed.

I regret not reporting her anonymously. I wouldn't ask permission. The zoning is there for a reason and frum Jews don't get a pass.

OP she doesn't have a right to earn her parnosa on your back. BTW I am against backyard day camps also.

Clarissa

Mon, May 13 2013, 7:39 am

YESHASettler wrote:

This.

Clarissa

Mon, May 13 2013, 7:44 am

I used to have a next door neighbor who was schizophrenic. She screamed all the time, sometimes obscenities. But when she was out she was quiet as a mouse. When I first found out (she was living here first) I was kind of freaked out and disturbed when I'd hear her. Then, over time, she went from being "the schizophrenic lady" to being "my schizophrenic lady." I started to feel neighborly and protective. When she died, in her apartment, I cried. Her daughter came and we sat and talked and my then-husband, who had a schizophrenic aunt, comforted her.

Now there's a neighbor there and he's a music producer. He corked his walls so we're undisturbed but, even when I hear them, I don't mind, because he's my neighbor and we're friendly. We have parties so I know a lot of my neighbors.

Honestly, if I really hadn't liked either of them I would have been way more tense and upset.

My point (took a long time to get here, didn't I?) is that sometimes when you have a relationship with someone, you're more willing to overlook the annoyances. So maybe when OP speaks to this neighbor they'll get a little more friendly and then things will feel more relaxed. The neighbor will make compromises and accommodations and OP will feel less annoyed with the business in general.

amother

Mon, May 13 2013, 8:21 am

YESHASettler wrote:

This makes no sense. Neither OP nor her neighbor can control parking on the block unless it is a private street. People won't go a business that is inconvenient.

The neighbor will keep the store open during the hours her customers will patronize it even if she initially agrees.