Next door Neighbor opened store in her house

Clarissa

Sun, May 12 2013, 8:37 pm

I'd complain to her and, if she didn't see your point (that it's inappropriate and inconsiderate to do this in a residential area) I'd report her. Sorry, but I don't want a lot of noise and traffic if it's illegal.

I live on a busy city block. When Fresh Direct started permanently parking their truck there (which is illegal) we complained and they had to move.

Waffles

Sun, May 12 2013, 10:13 pm

This would drive me crazy. If you had wanted to live on a commercial block, you would have bought a house there. I would send her an anonymous, typed letter listing your complaints & asking for what you want (shut it down or cut hours or....). Write that if it is not taken care of, your next step will be reporting her. I would also word the letter as if it comes from several neighbors (WE are unhappy)

Ema of 5

Sun, May 12 2013, 10:17 pm

Waffles wrote:

thats a bit cowardly (anonymous, typed) and aggressive ("if its not taken care of, ill report you") and dishonest (as if more than one neighbor wrote it) whats wrong with nicely going over to her and talking to her, and giving her a chance to work it out with you? people these days are really just not nice. if someone is bothering you, you tell them. if you dont give them a chance to compromise, how is that fair to her? why the need to threaten? why not just be a nice, neighborly person, and go talk to her calmly?

harriet

Sun, May 12 2013, 10:21 pm

eema of 3 wrote:

Waffles wrote:

This.

amother

Sun, May 12 2013, 10:35 pm

I'd be annoyed too, as others have written you bought a house on a residential street, if you wanted to live in a business district you'd have purchased a home there. There is a reason why zoning laws exist.

I wouldn't report her though. I would try to work out a compromise with her (I.e., only certain hours on certain days - when it won't inconvenience you) and if she doesn't agree the off to my LOR and a din Torah if necessary.

Fabulous

Sun, May 12 2013, 10:37 pm

amother wrote:

this. If she is really a frum woman, an arbitration by a Rav and if that doesn't work, try Beis Din.

gumby

Sun, May 12 2013, 10:37 pm

I have gone to a sheitel Mather who put up a sign on her entrance (which is the basement of her home on a residential block )saying this is a residential bock please don't park on this block or double park there is ample parking around the corner. Maybe you can suggest something like this to her.

Mama Bear

Sun, May 12 2013, 10:50 pm

My next door neighbor on my floor - think the hallway is just about large enough to hold 2 strollers - opened a store out of her home, and the store was open only from 2-4 on Sundays. I could not enter or leave my own home bc of the congestion of strollers and people n sundays. then people started coming at all other odd hours to shop. Guess what? That's what neighbors do. We lend each other stuff. We open the door for the cleaning lady when the other isnt home. We take in each other's fish order if the other isnt home. So part of being neighborly was swallowing the noise and chaos in the hallway. Eventually she moved it all to a storefront and paid a saleslady.

Be open and honest with her about the things that bother you; she might not even be aware how much its bothering you and might change things.

It wont always be so busy. Seasons come and go. Soon the summer will come and it will get quieter.

Dandelion1

Sun, May 12 2013, 10:51 pm

amother wrote:

I agree with this. It isn't wrong to resent the disturbance caused by commercial traffic on a residential block that you chose based on it's quiet and privacy. It would bother me too. But as hard as it is to confront someone directly, this would be the kindest, most appropriate action, as a first step. Or possibly, ask your Rav first for his sense of the matter, and then speak with her... But reporting her as a first step is unfair and cruel. For all you know, if you speak to her she might apologize and come up with a solution.

Barbara

Sun, May 12 2013, 11:09 pm

I had one opinion, but Marina's post persuaded me to reconsider it, at least a tiny bit.

OP, you say that her business is quite busy due to the holidays. Maybe you should give it some time, to see if things settle down to a more comfortable level after Shavuot. If so, then you could approach her and say something like, "Rivka, I'm happy for you that your business is doing well. But before the chagim, the traffic is really too much for our residential street ..." Add other problems -- her customers are loud and wake your children at nap time, park in your driveway, throw trash on your lawn, whatever it is. I just wanted you to know, so that you can work out a way to deal with those issues before Rosh Hashana.

If things continue to be bad, you need to work out, for yourself, what the problems are. "Lack of privacy" doesn't make much sense unless they're coming into your yard or peaking into your windows. Then approach her or, if you don't feel you can, ask for the help of your rabbi in doing so.

alte mamme

Sun, May 12 2013, 11:43 pm

gumby wrote:

I agree with gumby. I think it's quite reasonable and very common to request that her customers not park in front of your house or trespass on your property. Would that help with the privacy issues?

You could also possibly request that she limit the hours to times that are less intrusive (ie, when your kids are in school or in bed). But why would they hear what goes on inside your house?

I also agree that you should consult with a rav about what your rights are and what is the proper way to conduct oneself given the difficult situation.

watergirl

Sun, May 12 2013, 11:44 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

pray she's so successful she moves to a storefront on another block. Smile

This. I know mummiedearest meant this to be funny, but what a great way to change your attitude and to help out a fellow yid at the same time. You have a few choices, but this one is the only way to be positive, proactive, and to feel like you are actively doing something to change the situation. Its a win/win/win situation. You win because you are doing something rather than griping about it. You win because you get the mitzvah of davening for another womens parnassa, and she wins because she will Gd willing gain the parnassa! How can you go wrong?

Clarissa

Sun, May 12 2013, 11:49 pm

watergirl wrote:

mummiedearest wrote:

pray she's so successful she moves to a storefront on another block. Smile

You can go wrong if she gets super-successful but doesn't have any desire to move, and things get noisier, more congested and less residential.

notshanarishona

Sun, May 12 2013, 11:49 pm

I think if you are both renting, I would move rather than go to beis din and get into complicated fights.. If that's not an option I guess I would talk to them.

I am in a similar situation with a neighbor who opened a home business right after we bought and we are kind of stuck with it.
Here we were the new neighbors and on our first day they started getting ready for the business day at 6:30 AM!
We didn't want to start a fight but eventually the noise, lack of parking, mess in the stairwell, etc.. started getting to us so we spoke to them and the other neighbors and they are hopefully moving out. I can't say there are no hard feelings but we basically kept it pleasant.

In an ideal healthy situation, I think the the neighbors should ask each other permission b4 starting a home business so that they didn't just invest tons on $. Although in some neighborhoods its relatively accepted, I think there is a big difference btwn a business which is open for 2 hours at night selling a few items and a full store in a residential building.

octopus

Mon, May 13 2013, 12:12 am

maybe I would be interested in making shalom if this person actually owned their house. but this is someone who is renting. op says she owns her home. homeowners and renters have very different mentalities and honestly this would be something that would bother me if it affected my daily living.

StripedFlower

Mon, May 13 2013, 12:27 am

marina wrote:

I'm totally with Eema of 3.

Why do you want to disrupt this person's parnassah? Because of your privacy issues? What exactly does that even mean? And why are these issues more important than her putting food on the table?

People have rights, Marina. People don't have to have their right strampled over because someone else needs parnassah.

There is a right way to do things and a wrong way. It's clear this person with the store is doing things the wrong way. Don't make the neighbour the bad person here.

Clarissa wrote:

I'm (almost) with you, Clarissa.

Except, I'd first complain directly to the store owner - preferable with one or two other neighbours - and I'd suggest a compromise whereby the store is only open 3 times a week for an hour, or during the day (business hours) or some other compromise.

If the store owner still did not listen, I'd feel comfortable reporting them. This is illegal for a reason.

Last edited by StripedFlower on Mon, May 13 2013, 12:29 am; edited 1 time in total